Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
Bizarre things people say during practices
- Thread starter artechoke
- Start date
No, no I haven't. Thanks for the new word, I just hope it sticks in my vocabulary for future use. Most excellent.
I like the way you think.
Not really bizarre what was said, but a bizarre situation in my Former Band. We're playing in whatever key... say "C", so C F G... nothin' too complicated.
A third of the way into the song, the mandolin player tries to be helpful and says, "we're in 'C'." I'm thinking, "Yeah, I know, if you were listening you'd hear that I've been playing in key since the beginning of the song".
It always got worse. Mando player then offers to subtly cue me to every chord change for a while until I "get it", but whispers out the chords to me at the wrong time, way too early or just after a chord change, so with Mondo Mando distraction, I lose my place in timing and ... GRRRRrrr. Could never figure out what Mando-controller was thinking, trying to tell me the current chord or the next chord, because mando-suggestion was always so randomly timed.
I learned to just stop playing every time Mando opened mouth, and then rejoin when Mando shut pie hole. I don't think Mando ever figured out why/when I started and stopped like that, never made the connection.
My previous band's drummer was notorious for this, about five minutes into rehearsals he'd start yawning and talking about needing a coffee break.
Most apparent thing to a non-muso would be saying stuff like, "it goes dum-dum, dada, dadum, dum", instead of "dadum da, dum dadum".
Makes complete sense to the whole band. Sounds like 2-year-olds learning to talk to everyone else.
Makes complete sense to the whole band. Sounds like 2-year-olds learning to talk to everyone else.
There's that old joke about chords explained to different musicians:
producer to keyboardist: It's a G7add9!
keyboardist to guitarist: It's a G7!
guitarist to bassist: It's a G!
bassist to drummer: It goes ba-dum-ching!
producer to keyboardist: It's a G7add9!
keyboardist to guitarist: It's a G7!
guitarist to bassist: It's a G!
bassist to drummer: It goes ba-dum-ching!
During an old rehearsal.
Guitar: *noodles, goes into Cowboys from Hell intro*
Drums: That was nice. (implication being "we should use that")
Me: That was Cowboys from Hell
Drums: Oh.
*Everyone laughs*
Guitar: *noodles, goes into Cowboys from Hell intro*
Drums: That was nice. (implication being "we should use that")
Me: That was Cowboys from Hell
Drums: Oh.
*Everyone laughs*
I've just joined a cover band in the last 6 weeks or so, replacing the long time bass player who moved on to other things. I have had to get ~55 songs gig-ready off the original recordings since joining. Some of those we have rehearsed before playing live, some not.
During rehearsal, I still get:
-Band member X: I need that little walk-up bass cue to help hit that change.
- Me: Sure. No problem. What little walk-up bass cue?
-Band Member X: It's not in the recording, but the other bass player used to do it.
___
-Band member X: We need to be in sync on those accent notes.
- Me: Sure. No problem. What accent notes?
-Band Member X: It's not in the recording, it's something we added a couple of years ago.
Don't get me wrong, these are great guys and the band is awesome and an absolute blast to play in. It's just funny when they forget that they have changed things...
During rehearsal, I still get:
-Band member X: I need that little walk-up bass cue to help hit that change.
- Me: Sure. No problem. What little walk-up bass cue?
-Band Member X: It's not in the recording, but the other bass player used to do it.
___
-Band member X: We need to be in sync on those accent notes.
- Me: Sure. No problem. What accent notes?
-Band Member X: It's not in the recording, it's something we added a couple of years ago.
Don't get me wrong, these are great guys and the band is awesome and an absolute blast to play in. It's just funny when they forget that they have changed things...
I get the same thing sometimes... I'm playing with pretty much the same guys from a previous band (just a different drummer), but the geetar man keeps on coming back to old arrangements and accents that we adopted and the funny thing is that he argues that those things are on the original songs...
Playing in a blues band, the harp player was often out of tune. He explained that the harps were only out of tune when he played them, they were fine the rest of the time.
HAHAHAHAH this 100% , we were rehearsing last night , we have a show coming up on sat (first for this band in a couple years , we have had turmoil with guitar players the last couple years) and the drummer came out with these same words. I came back at him that we saw YES 2 weeks ago and they played three entire albums, no breaks, and the drummer is on the downward slide to 70 , you want to be shown up by a guy 70 years old? he mumbled something about conditioning , and I asked him if he was in worse shape than a 70 year old man that has lived the rock and roll lifestyle most of those years. he shut up quickly after that and played through the rest of our songs
Singer: "We just have to get through these songs." Nearly every rehearsal. No, you need to learn the flippin' words and stop reading them on your iPad.
Drummer: "Chomp. Chew. Chew. Swallow." Is rehearsal the only freakin' time you eat?
Me: "Sigh."
Drummer: "Chomp. Chew. Chew. Swallow." Is rehearsal the only freakin' time you eat?
Me: "Sigh."
Looking to put a new band together, a drummer friend of mine brings over a, um, questionable guitar player. He plugs in and hacks part of the way through a couple of tunes I recognized. He kept messing up when the going got a little rough. Would stop and try to go again through the tougher part. After three or four of these he turned his attention to tuning his guitar, which had been sour throughout. That wasn't going so well either. Then he looks over at me and says "I really play better than this. Don't be mislead."
We were doing a soundcheck and I noticed that the bass got tuned out from the mix.
Me: "Hey, why did the bass cut out from the mix?"
Sound guy: "Oh, you brought that big amp I figured you could hear it just fine."
Thus started a 10 minute discussion on how it's not just for me to hear from the monitor but if you tune it out of the house mix, the audience doesn't get to hear it as well as they should and it just sounds bad...
Me: "Hey, why did the bass cut out from the mix?"
Sound guy: "Oh, you brought that big amp I figured you could hear it just fine."
Thus started a 10 minute discussion on how it's not just for me to hear from the monitor but if you tune it out of the house mix, the audience doesn't get to hear it as well as they should and it just sounds bad...
Guitarist quotes from old bad:
"That's why you hired me. That's why I'm here. Boxpuppy."
"Pork grease on your combat boots...that's not regulation."
"Peacocks...they just don't give a f***"
"You're in the wrong place. This is a whorehouse."
And so on...
Conversation with current singer:
Me: It bugs me that so many bass players in country play everything legato, and right through the backbeat. Where are the rests?
Singer: We don't need rests. I don't like it when you play like that. It messes me up because you stopped playing.
Me: So I don't need to play ANY rests?
Singer: No.
Me: Ok....
So, I played a whole set, only resting at defined, full-band stops and at the end of songs. It sounded like we had a twelve year old bass player who just started last week...only a little more on-time. The singer loved it. The crowd didn't. Hopeless....
"That's why you hired me. That's why I'm here. Boxpuppy."
"Pork grease on your combat boots...that's not regulation."
"Peacocks...they just don't give a f***"
"You're in the wrong place. This is a whorehouse."
And so on...
Conversation with current singer:
Me: It bugs me that so many bass players in country play everything legato, and right through the backbeat. Where are the rests?
Singer: We don't need rests. I don't like it when you play like that. It messes me up because you stopped playing.
Me: So I don't need to play ANY rests?
Singer: No.
Me: Ok....
So, I played a whole set, only resting at defined, full-band stops and at the end of songs. It sounded like we had a twelve year old bass player who just started last week...only a little more on-time. The singer loved it. The crowd didn't. Hopeless....
Singer/acoustic player - "What chord do I play here?"
Instantly I answer - "A".
Keyboardist instantly says - "NO!"
Five minutes later they both come to the conclusion it's A. This happens ten times per practice.
Instantly I answer - "A".
Keyboardist instantly says - "NO!"
Five minutes later they both come to the conclusion it's A. This happens ten times per practice.
I've played with that keyboard player. So you say, "okay, what chord is it?"
Suddenly you're discussing nuclear physics.
I've played with that keyboard player. So you say, "okay, what chord is it?"
Suddenly you're discussing nuclear physics.
...kinda like trying to answer a simple, basic question in the amps forum (what do you guys mean by set the amp flat?).....
leads into a long dissertation on what EXACTLY flat is and how it could be achieved, and how you wouldn't really ever want to eq a room flat anyway, only to come to the very same answer originally posted...
