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Can i have strings for...

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by heath_the_great, May 4, 2004.

  1. Occasionally ill drop by my local music shop and have a chat and play around on any new basses in their, and many a time ive been there and a "stupid" guitarist has come in asking....

    1. Do you have strings for an ibanez?
    2. do you have a lead for an epiphone thingy? (yes, exact words)
    3. that $20 pickup, is that from a fender or gibson?
    4. do you have a strap for a fender strat

    and many many more.....
  2. Adam Barkley

    Adam Barkley Mayday!

    Aug 26, 2003
    Jackson, MS
    Maybe you could of helped set them straight, instead of trying to make jokes about them :rolleyes: It probably would of made their day, to have an person such as yourself, who obviously has never made a mistake or asked a simple question, give them a little information about their instrument.

    An ounce of kindness goes a long way, while making fun of others gets you nowhere.
  3. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Nah, it's perfectly acceptable to poke fun at clueless guitar players. In this case, making fun of others may help you win friends and influence sales people. Why not? Those darn guitar players do it to us, don't they? I can't count the number of times I've been accused of being a "wannabe guitar player who couldn't cut it with a real guitar". Now that's not even funny. And, it's not even true. And it might even be downright malicious, given the wrong context.

    On the other hand, I poke fun at clueless bass players too. Thing is, I used to be one. So I understand that kind of stuff. And I poke fun at myself too. There's no harm in that, self effacing humor can get you that twenty percent discount just as easily as a card trick or a yo yo or a bottle of Jack.

    Now there's a thought. :)
  4. abark, im not making fun of them, they did it themselves, i have made mistakes before, alot actually, one of them being playing a p-bass :p , but yeah, guitarists i know (except for one who i jam with all the time and is my best mate from school) dont seem to accept 'lead bass' or 'primus' or 'advanced techniques' on bass such as slapping and tapping and call people like les claypool, wanna be guitarists...

    so really, im just sharing my experiences of spending a few hours in one of the local guitar shop talkin to the owner, another mate of mine.......

    and i dont think im all that good, as i said, it all comes from sitting back and watching other customers, but you gotta admit, it is pretty funny watching someone asking for strings for an ibanez
  5. Adumb


    Apr 27, 2004
    Concord, NC
    if you make fun of them, they'll probably nnever ask that question again. you get to make a joke and help them not look stupid again.
  6. oh, you have the wrong idea, i didn't say anything to them at all, i have my silent fun in here
  7. Joey3313


    Nov 28, 2003
    I know a ton of people like that.

    Hell, I have a friend who plays bass who couldn't tell you what strings are what...

    And then he'll go and play something so amazing and phenominal, I'll be blown away (he's damn good for being 16 with no lessons, or even a freaking book to learn from).

    I believe someone once ask Paul McCartney what strings he used, to which he replied, "Long, shiny, silver ones." (or something to that effect, you get the idea)

    Stupid crap said or asked doesn't matter if they can play.
  8. I think it's hilarious Heath! I would never jab a person out of malice...and we do all have our 15 minutes of stupidity in our lives....but let's face it...we know something funny when we hear it, and to bring it here amongst ourselves at the appropriate threads is a fine way to share our experiences.
    I worked for a large music retailer for awhile and Ive heard some doozies myself. We ALL started at that level, it doesnt make it any less humorous to hear someone else ask those questions for a change. Ive had a 15 year old kid tell me that he had a Gibson "Stratocaster" at home. People who barely strain through one measure of Smoke on the Water claim to be in touring bands, and at the same time ask you how to dial in the distortion on a Mesa Dual Rectifier head....but the one that always blew me away the most was the 18 year old who came in several weeks in a row, and insisted on playing a 3 pickup, gold hardware, 4500 dollar Les Paul Black Beauty from the top row of rare guitars....he'd wank on that thing until it was slimy...(couldn't play a lick!)...hand it back and swear he was coming in next week to buy it. Then one day..he waltzes in, plops down the cash, plus buys a hard case and a Marshall half stack, roughly 8000 later, loads it all up into some import hatchback that smoked to high heaven, and rode off into the sunset. I do remember that after that, those of us in guitar sales werent so quick to judge a book by the cover, so to speak...hahaha!
  9. That really doesnt mean anything, He could of been takin the piss, just like flea

    Eg: "How do you play while you juimp around on stage?"
    "i stick my finger up my bum before i go out on stage"

    "what type of bass do you play?"
    "a black one"

    an interviewer asked flea what he does since he no longer takes drugs
    "i drink lots of aligator urine, or massage the testicles of wild gorillas"

    "who tought you to play bass"

    And one time when he was on the cover of Guitar World or something like that, The interviewer told him that many people didn't want him on the cover because he was technically incompetent and he said "**** you, Im on the cover and your not" to those people
  10. nonsqtr

    nonsqtr The emperor has no clothes!

    Aug 29, 2003
    Burbank CA USA
    Yuk yuk. Was that before or after he got sober?

    Nothin' like a crackhead with an attitude. :)

    On the other hand, I've never before heard Flea referred to as "technically incompetent". I'm not sure I'd go that far. Sometimes he has trouble hitting the right notes on stage, but then so do Jimmy Paige and Keith Richards.

    I've heard that one at the store though:

    Bass dweeb: "I need some strings".

    Sales person: "What kind?"

    Bass dweeb: "The same kind Flea uses".

    Gotta love it. Once in a while I have nightmares about being a sales person at GC, and being forced to spend my Saturdays listening to a bunch of Zakk Wylde wanna-be's.

    Anyone know where I can a discount on a gross of earplugs?