OK, it has been quite a while since I have posted here.
After a lot of legal wrangling, the formal arraignment for the driver that killed Chad happened yesterday. Even though this was only a formality, the courtroom was packed with friends and family of all three of the victims here. The driver had only two people show for him.
The driver has been in jail since the night of the accident. His bail was set at $250,000.00, and he and his defense team made the decision that his resources would be better spent setting up his defense rather than posting bail. He will serve time one way or the other, and the time he is serving now counts against his eventual sentence.
Originally, they were going to have this guy plead via video feed into the courtroom. We had not faced him eye to eye yet. When the judge saw the crowd in the courtroom, he elected to have him brought in live. His attorney did not yet know this. As an FYI, this kid's uncle is a civil attorney in the area, and got him hooked up with counsel that is probably among the best when it comes to criminal defense in drunk driving homicide cases. Because this was to be a formality, the attorney representing the drunk sent one of his underlings in his place who did not "get the memo" that his client would be live in the courtroom rather than pleading from his cell. We in the crowd had very strict instructions to maintain decorum, or we would all be summarily dismissed from the building. We were all on our best behavior.
Chad's killer was led into the courtroom in handcuffs and an orange jumpsuit. He is a big kid - his occupation was being a bouncer. His attorney was not yet present, so he had to take his place at the defense table squirming, with all eyes on him for ten minutes while his attorney and team rushed to the courtroom.
An incredible range of emotions swept through at that moment for me, but the one thing that I will always remember that will haunt me is this - I was not looking at a monster. It struck me hard that I was looking at an incredibly frightened 25 year old former bad ass kid. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul. I can tell you that they are.
The hearing was over in less than ten minutes. His team pleaded not guilty. This is really a formality, and we knew it.
Following the formal hearing, the prosecutor took everyone on our side into a conference room, and he and his team spent an hour and a half with everyone explaining the evidence, the procedure that will be followed, the amount of time that the case will take, and what we can expect along the way.
What is tearing me up right now are the events that led to the accident. It turns out that Chads' killer made arrangements to do the right thing that night. As I said earlier, this kid was a bouncer in one of the more popular nightspots in the area. Coors sponsored a trip to a minor league hockey game, complete with free tickets and a van. The 18 people that went on this trip met at a local bar to get the van and go to the game. The driver that killed Chad announced to everyone going that he was going to get completely wasted that night, and was looking forward to it. He wrangled an extra ticket to give to a buddy that was supposed to be his designated driver. Following the game, this bunch went back to the bar where all their cars were parked. The video cameras inside and outside the bar tell the story. This guy was so drunk he was walking into walls. The bar would not serve him, but he did manage to steal a shot off of a waitress tray when she wasn't looking. He also went into the parking lot and threw up twice. The video shows him getting a phone call on his cell, getting pissed off, and then going outside, getting into his Dodge Ram truck and taking off. It turns out the call was from his designated driver. This guy (the designated driver) met some broad at the bar, and took off with her. The call was to tell the drunk that he was on his own. I can't imagine that any piece of ass that is worth three lives. Chad's killer in a very wasted pissed off state stopped at the first traffic light he came to. He then blew through the next three at close to 70 miles per hour on a two lane hilly road before he hit and killed my nephew and his passengers. According to the medical experts, Chad and his passengers did not suffer. They were killed immediately.
The prosecution has an incredible amount of evidence. This will be a long process, and will probably be settled in a plea deal. No matter what, this kid will serve a minimum of 9 years, with a maximum of up to thirty. The way it works in Pennsylvania, the negotiation comes down to how long you negotiate for the minimum, and the maximum becomes double that amount. He will not be up for parole until he serves whatever the minimum sentence turns out to be. Following that, he will not have a drivers' license for three years following his release, and will be on parole for the remainder of whatever the maximum sentence is. If he screws up during parole (gets caught with booze, drugs, or other offenses), he will go back to prison to serve out the maximum sentence.
This is going to be a heart wrenching process. Even though we have been given a trial date for early June, we are told that between delays and legal maneuvers, it will be at least a year before this goes to trial, if it gets there. We will continually re live this nightmare.
I have been in therapy now for the last couple of months. Is it helping? I don't know. I have found more comfort in my prayer life. I have asked Christ to help me untangle the mess that my mind is. I have asked Him to help everyone find comfort and healing. I have also asked Him to help me forgive. I think that I'm getting there. What I do know for certain is that this is something that we will never really be "over". It is something that we will learn how to live with.
My 16 year old daughter is now in driving school. She's a very responsible kid, but it scares the crap out of me nonetheless.
This is something that could have been completely avoided had others chosen to act responsibly. Three lives were taken that night. My therapist asked me in our first session if I would favor the death penalty for Chad's killer. I told him no. I told him that prison would be infinitely worse for this guy than the death penalty. Yesterday confirmed that. I saw a scared kid whose life is over before it even began. At the same time, my nephew and his passengers are no longer here. I know that it sounds crazy, but I hear Chad's voice every day. He tells me that he is OK. I need to believe this. I have asked Chad to look out for his parents and brother and sisters. I know that he will.
