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Cool things to say between songs

#161
It depends on your personality, your look, your attitude. What works for one person will fall flat when someone else says the same thing. We have two front people in our band - one male who is just naturally funny as hell, and one female who is not really funny but very energetic (and incredibly hot - built like a brick s#$t house and sings her a$$ off)
The male will say stuff like "I would like to point out that we have a tip jar up here - It's just our little way of saying "F@3k you, PAY US" when he says it, he gets a laugh and people start filing up and putting money in the jar - then hell say something like "I love caucasians, say the word F@#k and they give you money - F#@k F#@k F#@k F#@k F#@k F#@k! - If anyone else in the world but this guy tried this they would have things thrown at them but when he does it the audience loves him. The girl will just scream "How's everybody doin' tonight!" and then be dissapointed (regardless of how loud the response) - "If you would have done it right the first time I wouldn't have to make you do it again - Now SAY IT LOUDER!" If a really good looking guy walks in alone she'll say "You might not be Mr. Right but I'll F@#k you 'till he shows up" this has more meaning because she actually means it most of the time and has a rep as a female player.
Just be true to your own personality.
 
#166
Great band, long ago, playing in a dark, smoky, loud bar would start their second set (as I recall) with the Ricky Ricardo Laugh-Alike contest. They played a great mambo, handed out cheap cigars, lined people up to do the "Huh-Huh-Huh-HUH! LOOSEY!" laugh. Reeled the crowd in every time.

Previous posts addressed on-stage patter by concert performers, which is WAY different than the OP's request: what to say at the sports bar gig. Some suggestions that usually work for us:

After set-up and sound check, introduce yourself to the bartender (which will come in handy in SO many ways) and write down his/her name. Then get the names of the rest of the servers, and maybe even the owner's names, if that's appropriate. Clip that Post-It note to your setlist. Throughout the night, just a casual, "Working hard back at the bar tonight is our friend Carol; make sure she knows what a great job she's doing." When Carol gets that round of applause, and some more tips, she'll remember you. Which could get you re-hired at that bar.

Instead of talking between songs, try the old radio intro/outro trick: Take the twenty seconds of pre-vocal intro to the song and talk over it; say just about anything. "What a handsome crowd you are..." "Here's something we just love playing..." "Grab your partner..." Doesn't have to be anything life-altering, and since it's done over the intro, or the outro, it will seem less contrived. Also, the band introductions aren't necessary, but if one of you plays something the crowd notices, take a second during the moment and say, "... that's Dave on the drums..." Full concert? Sure, do full introductions, player bios, hand out mug shots, whatever it takes. Bar gig? Not many people will care, or remember or think much of anything about the introduction except, "When does the next song start?"

I am in full agreement with previous posts that say: You're not up there to look at your shoes, or ignore the people PAYING to hear you (the audience), or talk about the time you left your bass in the car, and then this guy from another band let you borrow his, and then your girlfriend said... That's called "walking the audience," in stand-up comedy lingo, but bands do that ALL the time and don't seem to notice. Or care.
 

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