I've been with this current band for 8 years. when we have a show I introduce myself to whomever is running the sound. I explain that I use effects and distortion and feedback and would prefer to use a mic and that I brought one that they can use. I also offer to let them use the mic for all the bands playing that night if it makes it easier. I have never been denied my request.
I really dont know where you guys live and what is in the water that makes your sound guys so hard to work with. All the towns and cities we have played the sound guys have been super supportive and willing to work with us.
having said that, assuming a mic is "allowed" I don't think it is as inconsistent as to get a good sound as many say. mic position makes a difference, but in loud live situation, if the mic is off by a few inches or degrees no one can tell the difference. At the end of the day you're still at the mercy of the guy behind the board regardless of mic or DI. With my cabs i actually have a little "X" drawn on the grill where i like the mic. makes it easy. if i'm using a backline cab I jut point the mic at the center of the speaker and be done with it. live sound is overrated anyway. no one will notice and no one really cares in the rock/metal/punk scenes. it's just a wall of distortion anyway.
Chicagoland area. And it's not like they're pushy about it. Most times. But I have asked to be mic'd numerous times always to be told that they either won't and or that it's easier to do a DI. Since I don't have a mic of my own I've never been in a position such as yours. Maybe that would make it easier to stand my ground and or then more willing to use it.