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Deep philosophical question

Yes, but I responded to the original post by saying I don't fear death but I fear dying painfully. That's the fear. I don't fear dying not painfully.
I just think that's a weird fear - pain and then death. I'd think that the death would be welcome since it would stop the pain, wouldn't it? I think a more rational fear would be pain w/o the relief of death. Or am I misunderstanding your fear?
 
You need the slobake spelling tootorial.

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When I was diagnosed with stage III multiple myeloma in 2009, I didn't think in terms of mortality but those around me did. I just felt lousy & the pain and immobility sucked.

What has changed since recovery is an intensely personal interest in anyone else battling a cancer. Like we share the fight together...even perfect strangers whom I meet for the 1st time. It's probably why Chris Squire's death hit me particularly hard...their (Yes) music was a big part of my youth and is still with me now. I don't like seeing emotionally valued things leave.

If you have toured an assisted living apartment with your folks and view the finality of it after having your folks raise you and be leaders their entire life, then seeing them decide to place themselves in such a controlled environment, I can't describe the feeling I am thinking but it's brutally final.

I enjoy the view every day. Regardless of the weather, circumstances, etc. To be able to live, exist with just 3rd world problems is a blessing. Plus, you get to jam with folks now & then.

Enjoy these days. Or don't...I guess.