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Do women mind being called girls?

Does it bother you?

  • Yes, I'm a woman and it does bother me

  • No, I'm a woman and it doesn't bother me

  • I'm a man & think it doesn't matter

  • I'm a man & women are women, not girls


Results are only viewable after voting.
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In good ole NZL the C word can be used in many ways without causing offence. Men only may be good, bad, funny, clever, clever (not), strange, dopey, short, tall, fat, skinny or even evil, you get the idea.

A woman would have to be beyond the pale bad before being called any kind. I have never heard it used on a woman.
 
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But what if what you were taught is respectful (using ma'am and sir, just for example) is not actually taken as respectful by the people who are on the receiving end? What if they really don't like it? I found out that the women I spoke with REALLY don't like to be ma'am'd. So I'm going to stop ma'am'ing women in general. Would you make the same decision, or would you say 'I was taught to do this because it's respectful, and I'm gonna do it whether you like it or not!'?

Times change. Maybe what was respectful - and expected - 50 years ago is neither today. Maybe it wasn't that great then either. Heck, it was about that long ago that white people addressed black men of any age with 'boy' with impunity. That it was widespread and accepted among whites as an acceptable form of address does not mean that it was in fact an acceptable form of address. We were wrong.

It's far more respectful to others if you do what they want you to do rather than insisting that what you are doing is respectful, whether they like it or not.




This, exactly. All of this.




Again, the fact that you hear it all the time doesn't mean it's ok with the people on the receiving end. Have you asked how anyone feels, or are you just going with a crowd mentality? Be aware that even if you *did* ask, you might not get an honest answer. Women (not just women; many other members of groups that have been diminished or marginalized would be able to corroborate this) have been known to say 'It's ok' when they really don't mean that, because they don't want to be subjected to the often-argumentative 'discussion' that follows. If a woman told you that she didn't like to be called a girl, would you say 'I'm sorry I said that; I won't do it again' or would you say 'Come on, it's a term of endearment'?

That 'you' is a generic one. It applies to me also. If someone tells me that they find something uncomfortable or offensive, it's my job to respect their feelings rather than try to persuade them not to have them, whether I understand these feelings or not. Simple.


Male, I promised myself I wouldn't bite on another troll lure, but here I am again. My biggest issue with your post is how you obviously didn't read the fact I stated if I find that something said offended someone, I will either not say it again, or not have anymore contact with the person. I do however respect the fact they have communicated their displeasure and let me know. This I can respect. This isn't a blanket statement, and covers only reasonable utterances. I personally find someone calling someone their "old lady" or "old man" to be disrespectful, even though it commonly heard in certain circles. Would I correct them? Probably not. Why? because it's their way of describing their loved one, and I can handle it if something doesn't go exactly my way in life. This for me would be a minor thing.

I'm not a huge fan of rap music, but I don't call the radio station and complain every time they play a song I don't like, I just chose not to listen to it.

I have often called elderly ladies "young ladies" in my past, and that now appears to be offensive. It was always said light hearted, but obviously it probably made some of them mad.

So in reflection, it seems that people are much more sensitive than even I thought here, and I will try to be politically correct whenever possible.
 
Male, I promised myself I wouldn't bite on another troll lure, but here I am again. My biggest issue with your post is how you obviously didn't read the fact I stated if I find that something said offended someone, I will either not say it again, or not have anymore contact with the person. I do however respect the fact they have communicated their displeasure and let me know. This I can respect. This isn't a blanket statement, and covers only reasonable utterances. I personally find someone calling someone their "old lady" or "old man" to be disrespectful, even though it commonly heard in certain circles. Would I correct them? Probably not. Why? because it's their way of describing their loved one, and I can handle it if something doesn't go exactly my way in life. This for me would be a minor thing.

I'm not a huge fan of rap music, but I don't call the radio station and complain every time they play a song I don't like, I just chose not to listen to it.

I have often called elderly ladies "young ladies" in my past, and that now appears to be offensive. It was always said light hearted, but obviously it probably made some of them mad.

So in reflection, it seems that people are much more sensitive than even I thought here, and I will try to be politically correct whenever possible.


Whoa there. I wasn't trolling you. Don't be an asshat and assume that I was. If I missed something in what you said, I missed it. I apologize. Geez.
 
Whoa there. I wasn't trolling you. Don't be an asshat and assume that I was. If I missed something in what you said, I missed it. I apologize. Geez.

No asshat here, nor do I feel you are being one. I've just been mis quoted a few times in this post already speaking my mind, and I'm becoming a little sensitive to it. And yes that was sarcasm. I actually have a pretty thick skin. :)

Edited to say that even though I've traveled all over this country, Reginal diversity is drastically different, and what is acceptable in one part of the country or world, could very much be taken as disrespect or contempt in others. Sir, ma'am, or miss is a formal and internationally acceptable form of greeting. This is the norm on military bases and across most of the south. As you go north, east, and west, this appears to become offensive to some, which I find odd, but never the less is the case. Same with the phrase girls or boys to describe obvious adults. Ever heard of the term "good old boys"? That certainly wasn't meant to be offensive. But used in the context such as , "boy, get me a cup of coffee" it takes on the form of disrespect or worse.

So as I said, I have learned that what is reasonable and considered a typical form of description in my world can be considered disrespectful by others.

I still stand by my statement that the world is becoming overly sensitive and if something doesn't go exactly their way, there will most certainly be a complaint to be filed.
 
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JG,
Go back and read your first post...
Your very staunch reaction to the suggestion that people might want to think before calling grown women girls is what has raised questions with me about the way you think.
You said you didn't watch the video because you already knew what it was going to say and you didn't care to hear it. ...too bad if anybody doesn't like that treatment. ...toughen up.
Now you decide that you are being picked on and are offended?.... really? ...toughen up!
Nobody is trolling anybody here, you jumped in with both feet using strong statements and an immediate rant about your distaste for current social trends.
Your first line had the words silly, petty and utterly stupid...nice start!
Clearly, many women don't care to be referred to as children in many situations, as they have stated here, you don't want to hear that you may be a bit off to one side on the issue, so you keep giving examples in your life that suggest it's just not an issue.
Nobody mis-qouted you.
I live in the center of Texas, that's pretty south, I don't think this country is as different from place to place as a few people here seem to think it is.
I think it's more a function of age and social awareness than location.
Maybe another time we can get into a discussion about how our mobile society has changed regional demographics and customs massively.
A typical 18-25 year old woman would like older adults (often men) to treat her like an adult, which means thinking of her as a woman and using the correct term to identify her.
All the friendly banter among friends is fine, but seeing woman as girls is a control tactic used by a older adults towards younger females for a very, very long time.
I think your military training was big on telling teen aged males that they are men and trying real hard to get them to think of themselves as men.
Do you understand that denying that grown up label to females is a bit aggravating to them in several situations at least?
Maybe stop denying and at least acknowledge that it might be an issue, without your next statement justifying and complaining the world is just too PC for regular normal guys like you.
 
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Roughly speaking, what I see in this thread is a contrast between people who defend the traditional, patriarchal, status quo and those who reject it as unjust. It seems that some people seem to think that sexism is the norm (or perhaps they are somehow unaware that the norm is sexist?) and therefore anyone who points out gender inequality is being "politically correct" and should "suck it up" and get over it. Those who make such an argument are guilty of using an is/ought fallacy by arguing that because sexism is the case it therefore ought to be the case.

Is it somehow unreasonable or unjust to argue for gender equality, particularly when obvious examples of sexism are found? When it is pointed out that grown women assert that they prefer not to be addressed by men as 'girls', it is not reasonable to respect those wishes rather than to dismiss them?

Further, I also feel that people who call me 'sir' generally do so with a false sense of respect and I have little use for hollow decorum and false respect.
 
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As threads go, this one's been quite a ride. My thanks to all :)

Be kind. Be wise is all I really want to say. Beyond that, this may be worth sharing. I hope so.

When a child comes into this world someone will usually say, "It's a boy." Or "it's a girl." - very important information, for any number of reasons. Beyond that, it's a child. These little bundles of joy are our children. Don't lose sight of that. We complicate things further at our own peril. The rest, the naming of things, is just convention.

Conventions, customs, aspects of one's culture, can and do sometimes give the game away and can be a bit embarrassing, as the years march on. Sometimes, they set us apart and bring great joy to all who witness and abide. No complications. When customs aren't so good, we get lucky. People will let us know, people with good intentions, good people who sometimes suffer under the thumb of good intentions.

Here, "Howzit goin' you old bastard," is a friendly greeting, unless you happen to be illegitimate. You may then not be so interested in reciprocating. But, then again, you will most likely recognize the intention and feel the love. There's often good humor in these exchanges which always has the opposite effect to what the uninitiated might imagine.

I doubt that any of these modes of communicating have any real power to undermine someone's status. But when they do, it's time to take notice, move on :)
 
So why are women always saying "You go, girl!" to other women?

Despite the belief of its urban meme origins, it probably dates to Shakespeare, if not earlier:

"Go, girl, seek happy nights to happy days." — Romeo and Juliet, Act I, scene iii

Bear in mind Shakespeare was a man. Did Elizabethan women actually say that to each other? Did they twerk when the Waites were getting down?
 
Women refer to men all the time as boys. Just as men refer to women as girls sometimes. It's not usually done in a mean on condescending way. A woman might say they are having a "girls" night out. Men say all the time that they are going out with the "boys". I don't see any big deal unless it is said purposely in any demeaning way.
 
I think you choose the wrong site to post this on xD. I'm pretty sure it's like 80% guys here. Youtube or reddit would get you more accurate results.

99.9%.... but it's perfect! Men fighting with other men telling them what women prefer.....

Just checking to see if you boys were still at it. Yes? Continue...
 
In a world where gender-specific nouns and pronouns are becoming more and more "bigoted" by the day, apologizing is all you can do....

Yup, the idea of non-binary pronouns being forced into the English language is now a reality. I will soon be referring to everyone and anything as "it", and not giving a rat's ass if it is offended.
 
Kind of a non issue. I learned how to phonetically dance around having to address anyone with a label years ago. Unless it's their name, I don't say anything. I've even had males get offended at "sir" before. "Ma'mm" was a huge no no long before people started tip-toeing around politically correct titles. I get offended when people refer to me as "hon". It's like nails on a chalkboard to me, don't know why. I do understand why certain people don't like to be addressed a certain way. I just assume it's everyone, lol.
 
Yup, the idea of non-binary pronouns being forced into the English language is now a reality. I will soon be referring to everyone and anything as "it", and not giving a rat's ass if it is offended.

You have to be extra careful around December. If you guess wrong on the Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays greeting and couple it with the wrong pronoun you could kill somebody.

Edit. This is a joke.
 
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