Do women mind being called girls?

[mapleglo]

It's encouraging that almost 50% of the respondents voted that they are men, and they think that I'm a woman and not a girl. I'm 60 years old. I stopped being a girl 42 years ago.

However, it's discouraging that a full 50% think that it doesn't matter. Yeah, there's still a lot of work to do.

Really, it's all about context. My Husband will often call me "girl". It's a term of endearment. Just like when he calls me "babe", and when I call him "babe".

When I'm with a group of women friends, and one of them says "Would you girls like another drink?", again, it's a term of endearment.

When the waiter comes up to the table I'm sharing with a friend, and asks if us "girls" would like another drink, that's not OK.

But you know, we live in a male dominated world, and when white men decide that it's ok they call me a girl, that's what they'll do, whether I like it or not. Well, 50% of them, anyway. At least as of this moment:

 

[RED J]

Perhaps there is a big culture language difference from where we live. I grew up and live near the beaches here is SoCal and our speak here is very icasual. Just the other day I mentioned to my wife that the boys are coming up Sunday afternoon for a jam session. It has nothing to do with slave owners from a 150 years ago. In fact, in my case, the expression means I am close to these musicians and it is more of a term of comradery with them. Just sayin.

I see a lot of cultural regional and personal dogma in this thread too.The older I get the more I get called hon sweetie darlin or sweet pea by young women behind retail counters . I might call them hon, lady, gal, or something along those lines and nobody gets warped out of shape.
In these parts, people are just friendly that way.
There are obvious slurs no one is going to use, and no discerning person needs the PC police to dictate what is acceptable in a given situation.
We live in such a homogenized society that code switching is a daily deal.

 

[MAJOR METAL]

Typically not when addressed by a gay man.

 

[slobake]

It's encouraging that almost 50% of the respondents voted that they are men, and they think that I'm a woman and not a girl. I'm 60 years old. I stopped being a girl 42 years ago.

However, it's discouraging that a full 50% think that it doesn't matter. Yeah, there's still a lot of work to do.

Really, it's all about context. My Husband will often call me "girl". It's a term of endearment. Just like when he calls me "babe", and when I call him "babe".

When I'm with a group of women friends, and one of them says "Would you girls like another drink?", again, it's a term of endearment.

When the waiter comes up to the table I'm sharing with a friend, and asks if us "girls" would like another drink, that's not OK.

But you know, we live in a male dominated world, and when white men decide that it's ok they call me a girl, that's what they'll do, whether I like it or not. Well, 50% of them, anyway. At least as of this moment:

View attachment 1091353

I need help too. My wife and I are about your age and it wasn't too long ago when I realized she wasn't wearing the mini skirts I bought her at Forever 21. Of course she also knows better than to buy me Dockers and a polo shirt with an alligator in it.

 

[Lesfunk]

They mind it a hell of a lot less than being called dirty whores. I guarantee

 

[mapleglo]

I need help too. My wife and I are about your age and it wasn't too long ago when I realized she wasn't wearing the mini skirts I bought her at Forever 21. Of course she also knows better than to buy me Dockers and a polo shirt with an alligator in it.

Much as I'd like to believe that I'll be "Forever 21", there are too many factors showing me that it's no so. I could probably pull off wearing a mini skirt, but I can't remember the last time I did. Outside of the Comicon, anyway.

 

[slobake]

Sometimes I am not sure what gender people identify with. I do my best and have been corrected on occasion. No one has ever gotten upset and it has never been a big deal.
Are we headed towards a society where more and more people have the option to choose their gender identity? I'm okay with that and others seem to have grace for a 20th century guy who is trying to keep up.

 

[nutdog]

Four young chiquitas in Omaha
Waitin' for the band to return from the show
Feelin' good, feelin' right, it's Saturday night
The hotel detective, he was outta sight
Now these fine ladies, they had a plan
They was out to meet the boys in the band
They said, come on dudes, let's get it on
And we proceeded to tear that hotel down

 

[nutdog]

Hey remember this one?
"And If I get her in my sight
(sing it with me)
Boom, boom, out go the lights."

Once they refer to me as dude we could never have a meaningful relationship.

 

[slobake]

Once they refer to me as dude we could never have a meaningful relationship.

I need to quit while I am behind. I think I am getting too carried away here. Of course, no one is carrying me away, I am doing it myself.

 

[slobake]

Once they refer to me as dude we could never have a meaningful relationship.

For me it's snookey pookums. Once they call me snookey pookums it's over.

 

[nutdog]

I need to quit while I am behind. I think I am getting too carried away here. Of course, no one is carrying me away, I am doing it myself.

I'm drinking. What's your excuse?

 

[slobake]

I'm drinking. What's your excuse?

I don't have an excuse. I'm just a loud mouthed schnook.

 

[nutdog]

I don't have an excuse. I'm just a loud mouthed schnook.

Now this totally hot chick just sat down next to me...but she's with this totally hot dude...

 

[catcauphonic]

Overall, i do my best to address people so as not to offend, but I've been known to throw the G-word around with good results.

Conversely, it really grinds my gears when I'm addressed as 'Sir' by anybody (and often after the 3rd time i tell them that i would prefer they didn't call me that.) I think I'm going to march on over to the 'What grinds your gears' thread and talk about it *harumph*

 

[pcake]

i haven't read this thread, but i am a woman. i guess how i feel about an adult woman being referred to as a girl depends on how it's meant, the situation, etc.

in my experience, guys who rarely or never call men boys virtually always call women girls regardless of age or position of authority. do they mean anything by it? i don't know all of them, but many do - and i'd say after more than fifty years on this planet, i've earned the right to be referred to as an adult. on the other hand, some of my friends can call me a girl, because they truly do mean it with affection, and they are very cool with being referred to as boy.

years ago, my over-60 year old mother, who was an engineer and worse loose fitting flannel shirts and jeans, no makeup and short hair, was referred to frequently in her hearing and to others as a girl by a couple guys in their thirties just to be denigrating. they were not on good terms with her - in fact, they were on actively bad terms with her. because it was in a business situation (she worked at hughes aircraft) and they were not friendly, i'd say this was a situation where calling my mother a girl was extremely inappropriate.

on the other hand, some of my bestest gay buddies call each other boy - even when they're in their sixties - and call me girl. fair enough and never a problem.

i've known some older (70s, 80s) men who refer to their wives as girls, and in some cases the wives don't mind but in some not only does it really hurt their feelings but they've told their husbands that it does.

so again, for me it's situational and depends on the person saying it, as well.

 

[58kites]

So much more goes into respect than simple word choice.
Just like I can speak to you in the most disrespectful manner, all while using whatever pronoun the though police deem appropriate at the time.
It's pitiful that we have become so close minded that we no longer judge others by what they say, but rather a single word chosen to say it.....

Total cop out.
Much more does go into it than a simple word choice, but a simple word choice says plenty.
Many men do it very unconsciously, the guy on this thread conveying that he was offended by a bass guitar ad, still referred to the woman in the pic as a naked girl and not a woman, force of habit.
Your complaining about the details, rather than just admitting that it happens all the time, and not doing it anymore, is typical of lots of nice men who don't want to think of themselves as someone who contributes to the subjugation of women, when we do it sometimes with no offense intended.

 

[slobake]

Had a boss when I was a phone tech who used to address his all male crew as "girls." I didn't bother me but then I referred to him as "Your Flatulence" or "His Flatulence."

 

[RED J]

so again, for me it's situational and depends on the person saying it, as well.

Which is the reasonable course in any personal interaction. No dogma needed.

 

[58kites]

Some do, so I usually stick with the word women or woman, no problem.
My girl doesn't mind it though. She'll always be my girl.

That's because she is your girl, not really the same thing.
It is not always just the word girl, it can be several words used to put someone in an inferior position.
In other parts of her life, I'm pretty confident that your girl (wife) has been addressed in a way to put her in a lower position and it was not appreciated.
Ask almost any woman if it has been done and if she liked it, the answer is almost always yes, men have done it and that it was not appreciated.