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Do you ever wish you could quit music?

O

OTBass

Jan 2, 2012
12
1
Cleveland, OH
#1
First off, let me apologize up front for being a whiny-baby. I wouldn't normally spill my feelings to strangers on the internet but I today I appreciate the anonymity

Anyways, the question is 'Do you ever wish you could quit music?'

For me, I have to admit the answer is yes.

I love playing music. However there are times where I question what the hell I'm doing and it all seems so pointless.

Here is where I'm coming from:

I started playing bass at 16 and am now 28 (that's 12 years if you like math). Immediately after high school I forsaked all smart life choices and went full force with my band. I dedicated myself to it, but that resulted in nothing. We didn't get anywhere. When I say that I mean we never advanced beyond the opening slot on a local show. We had no fans and no success. Looking back I know exactly why. We sucked.

Once I came to my senses, I tried a few other original bands that were modestly better. Meanwhile, I went off to college so I at least had a backup plan. As I did my degree, I hoped that one of my bands would make it. They didn't. I graduated college, my band broke up, and I had to get a job.

So that's what I did. For the past 4 years I've been working in a professional career and doing a cover band on the side to keep the music going. I could bust on cover bands all night long (including mine) but there is no denying that it can be a lot of fun. People know all your songs before they even know who you are, it's basically cheating! The money is good too. However, playing in a cover band can feel a bit like treading water. You're swimming but you're not going anywhere

So that's my story up to now.

I still think about achieving 'the dream', but now that I have a job and responsibilities I doubt I could put in the effort and make the sacrifices necessary to even have a chip in the game. Plus, I've found my creative abilities have waned somewhat. Not that I was that great to begin with but regressing from where I was certainly doesn't help.

When I was doing originals I was driven by the grand prize. Fame. Money. Doing music for a living. That life seemed so appealing.

Now that I've come to the realization that I'll never have those things I find myself wondering why I keep going. Is it because I genuinely love playing music? Probably. But putting all your energy into something that is leading nowhere is certainly a questionable act, even if you love it.

What if I was able to quit music and redirect all that energy into something else; a new goal.... a goal I could still achieve. Who knows what could happen?

I think about this and wonder the possibilities but thus far nothing inspires me the way music did and continues to. I really don't know if I'll ever find something I can be equally as passionate about. That being said, perhaps music really is my true calling... unfortunately I've only been called to the lowest ranks. haha.

Thanks for reading. I'll probably delete my TB account out of embarrassment for writing this confessional essay.
 
#2
To answer your question directly... No. If I ever felt I wanted to quit, I would.
Ive never wanted to quit playing in general, but I have quit a few bands that I was no longer enjoying being a part of.

I can relate, a lot, to your story, especially the earlier part. I started at 17, my last year of HS, and played while I went to college. Dropped out of college to work fulltime. Here I am 7 years later working and playing in an original band. What changed for me along the way, was that at some point my goals changed. I stopped playing to acheive any kind of dream. I came to the realization that playing the music I like isnt going to make me a bunch of money, but that doesnt have to change the enjoyment I get out of playing and writing. I'll probably work here until Im ready to retire, unless something awesome becomes available. Its playing music that makes it bearable, for me.
 
#4
Yeah, if you want to quit then quit, life changes so do tastes. If your having fun doing something else more, do it more, I love wasting my life on bass but I may eventually not enjoy it. It's like those old mcdonald's commercials, "hey it could happen."
 
#5
I had that feeling once after a terrible gig, but I kicked it off and focused my anxiety into working on the band.

If you're doing something you love and making good money off of it, why do you have to quit? It seems to me like you're not wanting to quit, but wanting a new goal to achieve.

So why not play in your cover band and work on something else? It seems to me that having 4 full days a week is enough to get something pretty good going while you play in your cover band.

If you simply don't have time, look to see if the band can play less or if maybe you can find a cover band that can make decent money but play a little less often.

It may take some work, but in the process you'd be "swimming somewhere" as opposed to treading water.
 
#6
I quit for over 20 years and after 2 1/2 years of practice(yeah practice ) and a few studio visits, I am catching glimses of progress. I am not in a group but I have enough equipment to play most venues. I am taking guitar lessons and my instructor is helping me to get some of my original songs to the studio. Still, I regret some things that I did and only now is the feeling of quitting beginning to leave. By attacking other instruments than just bass guitar, my musical vision is much wider. The thing for me was once it got into my blood (music that is) I had to return to do it again.....................................Its your choice and only you know what is best for you .....Good luck .....:)
 
#7
Yep.

And just cuz I've felt that way temporarily, doesn't mean that I truly want to quit, or should quit.

It's not about the money, it never was. For me it's been the difficulty of finding like-minded musicians, and appealing gigs/projects.

It's ok to feel that way sometimes. I know that there's a good chance I won't quit, but I allow myself to feel sometimes that I'm fed up. I know I'll be back because I know I just have to push on... and I wouldn't want to live without it. In fact I'm not sure I could at this point, even if I tried.
 
#9
Well... hell NO! I'm just starting, man! I don't know what music has for me in a few years, but if anything I feel like I'm truly looking forward to it, and that I am actually hoping for something good for my future. That's a lot to put on "music's" shoulders, but I think it is a great thing to do with my spare time. I never felt so passionate about something, and committed about something.

Now, don't think I'm naive. I know there will be hard times, times when I'll think I'm stale and I don't know what to do anymore, when I might even get bored. But the beauty of our art is we just have SO FREAKING MUCH to explore... I think one lifetime is not enough to even grasp the whole thing we call "music". Besides, you can always reinvent your art, you only need to look outward and find different ways to inspire yourself. I'm starting to listen more to hip hop and reggae. I used to dislike both, but I realize just how much I could learn from them to create simple but very catchy grooves. That's one example.

What you feel looks quite complicated. You love music but you feel like it's not worth the effort. You already have a career and a job but you complain that you did nothing with music. Wow, those are big clashing feelings!

Now, don't get me wrong... I'm not answering to judge you. We all have doubts, we all lose faith. If you have a streak of failed attempts at music, I can see why you feel that way.

But, with all the respect you deserve... don't you think that way of thinking is too pessimistic? I think you are not naive, so you should understand by now that, as with anything hard and worth the effort, music takes A LOT OF IT (effort). And it may not pay off. Well, that's life I guess, not just music. We work, and work, and work, and work, yet how many times we are truly rewarded for the efforts? Like, really big, satisfying rewards?

Life to me equals working, making an effort. It might suck sometimes, but we can't change that fact. What we can change, I think, is our goals and priorities. If you didn't make it big with music (popularity, money, tons of women, or whatever it was you were looking for), maybe it's time for you to revaluate why you love music and what to (realistically) strive for.

Just my rambling two cents. Keep rockin', dawg, and do not let go of your passion only because you are not a rockstar. Think of it this way: what would you be today if you never explored music? Would you have been better off, or worse?
 
#10
"To me, a true musician is a guy who never gives up, even though he feels like it sometimes" - Thelonious Monk

I think it's important to set your ideas about what you want to do with music. For me, I want to play music that I find interesting, fun, groovy, artistically challenging etc. I don't want to do it as a career, I just want to have fun within the realm of an art form I enjoy. Being a weekend warrior can more than satisfy my musical thirst, whether it's covers or originals.
 
#11
I've tried, but I had better luck quitting smoking than music. I'm not sure what part of my brain makes me do it, but one day, there I am, driving home from the music store with a new bass and a new idea.
I was thinking about just last night, as a matter of fact, and here I am today, making a fretless guitar just for sillies. I guess it's just what I do.
 
#15
chaosMK said:
I think your same concerns can apply to just about anything else that one might want to pursue.
Click to expand...

+1

So you still want fame and fortune but doing something other than music?

That's like playing the lotto. What field would that be in? Acting? Sports? Comedy? Anyone who makes it in show business are one of the few. The "many" end up doing other things.

There's no guarantee in anything.

If you "try" something else for the fame/money, IMO, you'll probably be just as miserable.

Do something because you love it. That's really the only thing under your control. :hyper::eek::hyper::eek:

Fame and fortune depend on what other people think of you and who knows what that might be?

There are millions of great/talented/genius musicians that never "make it" in your terms, yet, they play on. In China, the number goes to 10's of millions. Now whadda ya do?

Being disappointed about not "making it" is a sure road to bitterness no matter what field you're in.

Just be the best you can be and call it a life.

Have fun/don't worry....:)
 
#16
Maybe you need to take a break from it for a while and come back to it, if you wish, with a renewed enthusiasm? I had the same story, luckily had a backup plan, and put music on the backburner while I built my career and family. Then I got the bug again and have been at it ever since.
 
#17
Even though I had two very long breaks from playing, the thought of quitting never occured to me. I'll never be known outside of my little home town and that's okay because I'm having fun learning new things. Don't have as much free time as I'd like to learn but I'll tell ya, when that free time finally rolls around there's nothing better than taking the bass out and having some fun.

I'm actually hoping that just maybe one day of being able to find the right kind of gig to help me in "semi-retirement."
 

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