Do you ever wish you could quit music?

[Jeffrey Wash]

It would be dishonest of me to say "No, I never think about quitting". I've been working as a professional musician for a long time and, as with most any undertaking, there are good days and bad days. The good days can be amazing, the bad pretty discouraging. It's those good moments - getting to play with a musician I've always admired or listening back to a good take in the studio or even just experiencing those moments onstage when things just click and people manage to transcend the ordinary and everyone can feel it for awhile and know that they're taking part in something special; when the sum is greater than the individual parts - making music. Those are the experiences that get me through the tough times.

Making some money at it is an important factor, to be sure. I have a family and responsibilities to others and at this point in my life I wouldn't be doing music if it was just 'a hobby'. But I've been fortunate so far to keep the bills paid doing what I do and, even though I know there are many, many other people in different careers who make a heck of a lot more money and don't work anywhere near as hard as I do, it's those moments of magic that keep me committed to what I'm doing.

But back to the OP's question: yeah, without a doubt, the thought of quitting has crossed my mind on more than one occasion.

 

[Jeffrey Wash]

+1

So you still want fame and fortune but doing something other than music?

That's like playing the lotto. What field would that be in? Acting? Sports? Comedy? Anyone who makes it in show business are one of the few. The "many" end up doing other things.

There's no guarantee in anything.

If you "try" something else for the fame/money, IMO, you'll probably be just as miserable.

Do something because you love it. That's really the only thing under your control.

Fame and fortune depend on what other people think of you and who knows what that might be?

There are millions of great/talented/genius musicians that never "make it" in your terms, yet, they play on. In China, the number goes to 10's of millions. Now whadda ya do?

Being disappointed about not "making it" is a sure road to bitterness no matter what field you're in.

Just be the best you can be and call it a life.

Have fun/don't worry....

Well said.

 

[Stranger Danger]

This thing of ours is best when its more fun than it is easy. If its more easy than fun then its time to take a step back.

 

[steve_rolfeca]

I've had times when my interest was lower than normal. I even stopped gigging out for a while when my kids were younger.

But IME, if it's really in your blood, if you play music not for what you can get out of it, but for the sheer joy of the thing, then you'll never really quit.

I couldn't, because my wife would never let me. She says that she can tell when I haven't been playing enough, that I exhibit a certain kind of restlessness at those times, and then she bugs me to get back at it.

 

[champbassist]

But putting all your energy into something that is leading nowhere is certainly a questionable act, even if you love it.

It's not a questionable act; unless the other aspects of your life- which are arguably more important than your music- are getting compromised .

Is it because I genuinely love playing music? Probably.

You answered your own question there. I think of making/playing music as a parallel to meditation: it comforts me, gives me peace of mind. If it makes you happy, why not keep at it? There are enough things/people in life that leave us even when we love them. Why leave something that you love when you aren't required to?

I'll probably delete my TB account

You can't

 

[g4string]

After reading your story, it sounds like to me; IMO....that you your drive for playing music was not because you love music, your passion for melody/harmony, the urge to always get better, etc.....but it seems soley based on becoming famous, money, girls, etc, etc. It sounds like your priorities are out of whack. In my 20 years of playing music, I have never played for fame. I play because I love to play. Sure; there are times when I wish I was playing full time, or maybe toured in a van with my buds before college, and all that sort of stuff. But that ship has long set sail. I have a wife and kids. I like knowing when my next pay check is coming in. I have a close friend from high school who is an EXTREMELY talented guitar player/singer/song writer. He has played some pretty high profile gigs in his career, has put out several records, has played with some major cats, and he still hasn't made the big time!! It's doubtful he ever will. I have meet quite a few "old" musicians who remind me of my friend. They all were a few feet from breaking....played with the right cats, played the right gigs, etc....but just never made it. They all don't have pots to *** in, don't have health insurance, usually divorced, etc, etc. Music as a professional can be a rewarding career, if done the right way. Chasing a rock n' roll dream is not a career....unless of course not having any money, insurance, wife, retirement, etc is appealing to you. Once you can get over "the dream" and just play because you love to play, then music will be rewarding. If you cant get over never making it, might be time to sell your gear my friend.

 

[Broadstbully22]

I have never looked at music the way you do OP. It has always been a release from day to day life for me. My "me" time if you will. Every week I have all the stuff that we all have to deal with in life but when I go into my music room at my house or at practice or on stage its a escape. Sometimes I think music saved me and kept me from snapping when I was in Iraq and when I got back. It's always been there for me when other things weren't and it's made me a calmer person. I've played till my fingers blead and loved every second. Usually when I am done with a gig or practice I feel recharged to deal with life and I have a smile on my face. I hope you find it again and these expectations that you are putting on yourself subsides, if you don't I wonder how long you will keep at it. Good luck Bro.

 

[Joe Nerve]

What if I was able to quit music and redirect all that energy into something else; a new goal.... a goal I could still achieve. Who knows what could happen?

First, I want to say that I don't think your post or candid feelings are anything to be embarrassed about. I'm certain lots of people feel or have felt precicely as you do.

Second, what I quoted above has urked me from time to time. I've put more time, money, work, thought, energy, experience, learning, dedication, etc. into music, than people put into becoming doctors and lawyers. I've made more sacrifices also. And while I've wondered at times, why, the bottom line is I've grown to accept it. I sometimes think if put half the focus I have on music on lets say maybe the simple goal of being a millionaire, I'm sure I could attain it. I'm a reasonably intelligient person, with an incredible drive to succeed in whatever I set out to do, yet my compass always points in the direction of music. Which is not the most lucrative or grounded direction it can point. I'm probably going to spend a good 20 hours working on things musical this week that will yeild me around $200. And I often have a love/hate relationship with it, but as I said already - I've learned to accept it.

Music is who I am. If there's such thing as a God, It's created me that way, and I can't even conceive of the possibility of living without it. Knowing that I do the best I can in other areas, and work at having a full and diverse life, I know (or at least have a good sense right now) that I'll leave this planet with no regrets. I've learned enough to know that happiness has nothing to do with externals. Lots of millionaires blow their brains out. I have to be able to live with me, and I can't do it without doing what I do.

I have to add that there are still rewards... though not as frequent as I'd like at the moment, I do still get some awesome stage experiences that for me can't be matched by anything, tours here and there that bring me to experiences and places I'd probably never see otherwise, and a really deep rooted satisfaction that I often get when I complete something I feel really good about.

In the long run, iz all worth it to me.

 

[Freddels]

I started playing music (lessons, etc.) as a small child. I went on to college for music. I played with world class players (many have gone on to either become pretty well known or have played in bands with the well known). After college, the economy sucked, I couldn't find a good playing situation where I was living, etc. When I was in college it was depressing to see that the PhD professors the college was hiring were incredible musicians and were starting our with a salary in the low 20's.

So, I took Hal Galper's advice which was . . . if you can do anything besides music to make a living, do it.

So,I quit playing music for 17 years. Pretty much stopped even listening to it (I didn't even have a radio in my car).
For years, I always felt there was something missing in my life and couldn't figure out what it was. I always needed a few hours alone each day. Then I got back into music. Then I realized the hours alone I was needing were the hours that I used to practice. I guess music is my therapy.

 

[tycobb73]

Let me tell you to look at it a different way than most people here. My way is different because I love my day job more.

First, have an honest talk with yourself and others about what you are interested in. What gets you going? What do you find yourself watching on TV or reading, either books or on the internet. For me, its business first then music. Now, what do you dream about doing day to day? I'm not talking about driving a Ferrari or screwing a bunch of bleach blondes. I'm talking about when you have to pay rent or put food on the table, what do you want to do to get that money? For me its accounting. The next thing you have to ask yourself is what does it take to get to where I want to go? Do I need to go to college? I have an MBA and a masters in accounting. Yes, two separate masters degrees. After you figured that out, find out how much money people make in that career and whether or not it is enough for you. You may think I'm in accounting and do pretty well, but because I like the autonomy that comes with small business I don't do as well as you think. My wife, who is a social worker makes more than I do and carries all the benefits. She works for what untill recently was a publicly traded company and I work for a start up.

Doing this has allowed me to play music for the enjoyment of it. I play in bands when I want to play in bands. If I don't I quit. Now don't get me wrong, I like music almost as much as I like business, but I like business more. I spend almost as much time on here and watching Paladia as I do reading business books and watching Bloomberg and all the little reality based business shows like Flip This House, American Chopper, etc. But business is my passion and music is a hobby I love on the side.

What is your passion?

 

[brianrost]

Yes, there are times I wish I could quit playing music because it has caused me a lot of grief over the years. But I develop cabin fever when I have even a few weeks off without playing a gig.

I'll quit when I have to for physical reasons.

 

[bassbully]

"To me, a true musician is a guy who never gives up, even though he feels like it sometimes" - Thelonious Monk

This is me ^ I love playing, love being on stage, creating music but the hassles of bookings, band issues, the club management, owners and my scene sucking make it so hard sometimes to keep it going.

I play original music it's what I love and we give it away so to speak. I play with good people and enjoy them but the hassles of the chase of the gigs gets me down. The pressure of trying to keep us in the scene etc. I am still strong but sometimes feel weak, I do 90% of the booking and PR and have a full time job and family. Yeah, I have thought of throwing in the towel but those couple of hours on stage make it worth it for now.

 

[klejst]

I could call ditto and relate on a lot of what the OP mentioned. However sparing a lot of details which the OP already mentioned, I have pretty much moved on from the dreams of becoming this big rock star I had years ago. I have accepted it and just figure if something is going to happen it will and then I can go from there. However a lot of us know in today's music industry times not to hold our breath. I would sacrifice things in normal life because I just had this belief my band at the time, the band I am in now, or I would be one of the next bands that gets signed and lives the dream.

A more recent scenario I often share is a little over a year ago the band I am in now was working on our last EP and things were rolling enough to where I have beliefs that this could be that time. I was also actually looking at buying a house since the buyers housing market and interest rates are so good right now. I am pretty successful in normal and work life. However I ended up backing out of buying this really nice house I could of bought for a great price and decided I was just going to stay in my apartment because if this was the time when my band was going to make it I did not want this house to hold me back. I actually thought that, yes. Anyways jump to today and although my band has wrote a few new songs and played a few shows since then....that is about it. I actually just bought a different house, a nicer one then before and continue to live my normal life and just have fun with the band.

What I am getting at is I have no desire to quit music/playing bass. If the band I am in ever folds I would probably sell my big bass rig, but keep a combo and my favorite bass and become a hobbyist or perhaps studio musician along with just jamming with some friends every now and then. I also play guitar as well. I would still get my music fix, but would be able to focus more on other things I want to do. In fact I find myself pursuing a lot of other things in life more recently and I think it is because I don't feel that "what if" feeling much anymore. Moral of my little book here is you cannot put your normal life and other things in life you want to do on hold out of fear and thinking your going to be the next big thing in music. Dreams and goals are great, but a good sense of reality seems to work out better mentally.

 

[michael_atw]

I am music, so I'd have to quit me.


I can't quit me. I'm too awesome.

 

[The Owl]

Quit temporarily? Sure, all the time, and I often do. I love to take breaks. A few months off, maybe even a year, then I feel better. Quit permanently? Nah.

Right on!

Personally, I'm on hiatus, even got rid of all my gear to ensure I could totally clear my mind and then restart at some point. When the urge retuns I'm redoing EVERYTHING gearwise and hopefully even creatively.

Thought about ditching music for good, but I just can't, take a break from it, definitely.

 

[otherclef]

I play because I need to... its an addiction!! It heals!! It makes you and the audience happy!! Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll are GOOD, REAL things. Sounds the OP is trying to get somewhere instead of enjoying the journey... maybe too much TV??

 

[OTBass]

Hey OP here.

Thanks for all your great responses. This being the internet, I expected a bunch of nastiness. I guess TB is a cut above general public online places like YouTube haha.

Let me see if I can reply to some of the major themes in the responses....


Yes, in the beginning I was motivated by fame, fortune, and women. Absolutely, 100%. But band after band, failure after failure I kept doing it. Now I do it without even the expectation of fame and just keep going. I guess somewhere along the way I developed an actual love of music.

A good illustration of my love for music comes in fact that I recently bought a trumpet and started taking lessons. I have no goal, no real aspiration with it other than to be able to create music using the trumpet. In theory it's a total waste of money but I love it and it makes be pretty happy.

When it comes to life in general, fame at SOMETHING is NOT my #1 goal. My #1 goal/hope/desire is to make my passion my living. That is what I envy most about professional musicians and others who do the same with whatever works for them. They do what they love. Currently my job, while a good one, isn't my passion. It is just a job. What is my passion? Music unfortunately. Therein lies the problem.

Don't get me wrong. I'm a lucky person in a lot of ways. I have a great job that gives me the time and money to do music freely. I don't have to worry about appeasing fans, critics, or a record company. I can do whatever I want with music. But - I'm not a 'good enough' type person. I'm driven by chasing goals and wanting more. So I'll always want more no matter what...... which makes me wonder what I would do if I really WAS a famous musician. Probably wish I was normal! hahaha.

Oh well. Thanks for the responses again.

 

[Clef_de_fa]

I feel like it sometimes. I, too, started at 16 and I'm now 29. But at 20 I went to college in music, I played DB and EB at the same time, one in a classical context and the other in a jazz context. I learned a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff very complicated and all ... being in a music centric environnement make growing very fast and you are always challenged to play harder and more complexe music.

After I finished my college degree I was in a original band and we tried to play but ... no one wanted a metal/jazz/prog kind of band so it didn't go far, I find another job and this was it for 2 years. I went back at that band for one year but no one in the band wanted the same thing so I left the band and went back at college for an accomptant degree.

During those 3 years I completly stopped playing music, at the end I was in a profond depression. Two years later ( right now ) I feel better but I'm not so sure about music anymore. No one seems to be on the same page as me. I tread music like i would treat playing golf ( for fun, I want to improve but you know only for fun ). But there is some days I would sell all of it, other I want to play that or that ... I tryied to work on some video to put on youtube but even that didn't last long for my motivation.

I don't know I may quit one day ... nowaday it is sometimes the rocker attitude that kill my interest because I'm like ... why did I went so far went I could only play root notes and think it is what it is to be a musician ...

 

[Ric5]

I have quit playing music several times. Sometimes a month sometimes years.

 

[KwinS]

I quit cold turkey in about 1991. It was the most miserable 10 years of my life.
I started in 1972.