That is funny!! No, I am not western, I am southern. Yeah, I need to visit another forum. I did not know asking if your wife went to every gig would turn south.
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Does your better half...
- Thread starter pappabass
- Start date
My wife used to come to all our gigs...she's a musician but is now a full time mom and I carry the music torch...our relationship is rock solid and she has no problems with my gigs or who I talk to/smoke with throughout the evening...
early on in our relationship we set some guidelines...she was a giging musician in a 4 piece act consisting of all good looking women...I certainly had to refrain a few times from getting my back up...but it wasn't the end of the world...and it goes both ways...I'm free to chat up the fairer sex at a gig without having to answer silly jealous questions...
I agree with OP that I love having my better half at gigs with me..it makes me more comfortable but doesn't change the way I work the crowd/room
early on in our relationship we set some guidelines...she was a giging musician in a 4 piece act consisting of all good looking women...I certainly had to refrain a few times from getting my back up...but it wasn't the end of the world...and it goes both ways...I'm free to chat up the fairer sex at a gig without having to answer silly jealous questions...
I agree with OP that I love having my better half at gigs with me..it makes me more comfortable but doesn't change the way I work the crowd/room
My ex had rules about me being in a band. I couldn't play on weekends, no females in the band, no household money for gear, absolutely no gear in the living room, bedrooms, family room. Later she gave a beautiful Les Paul guitar. Weird.
My fiancé loves to hear me play whether it be a gig or practice. We do have rules. She cannot ever interfere with band business, and is not to criticize any band member, song or venue unless asked. So far (5 years) it has worked out fine.
My fiancé loves to hear me play whether it be a gig or practice. We do have rules. She cannot ever interfere with band business, and is not to criticize any band member, song or venue unless asked. So far (5 years) it has worked out fine.
My wife is in the band with me. When we go on break, we go our separate ways and talk to the audience.....we've done that for 25 years. Meet back up to the bar, get a drink, and head back to stage.
Prior to that, I was in a country band for 4 years playing OLD standards. My wife came twice, didn't like the music or venues but she knew I just wanted to play (even though I wasn't a fan of the music I was playing). We've been married for 31 years and no problem with playing music with or without her...for either one of us.
Prior to that, I was in a country band for 4 years playing OLD standards. My wife came twice, didn't like the music or venues but she knew I just wanted to play (even though I wasn't a fan of the music I was playing). We've been married for 31 years and no problem with playing music with or without her...for either one of us.
My wife isn't jealous of other women. She's jealous of the guitars--they are what gets so much of my time and attention 
I wish women would hit on me at gigs. It would never go anywhere, but it'd be great for the ol' self-esteem.
I've been married to Seahag (my lovely wife) for 27 years now. I've been playing in bands for 50 years. She is well aware of what can go on at band gigs. Most of the bands I have played in have practiced at my house so she has heard all the songs we do. We both work day jobs and also have other outside interests. She seldom comes to any of my gigs these days. She sees the Facebook posts of what goes on at some of our gigs. I get hit on occasionally and do my best to get flashed on stage as often as possible. On a couple of our gigs that she has attended , she has actually instigated me getting flashed (bless her heart.) She understands what goes on in "the business" and has no problem with it. Others might not be so lucky.
If you both trust each other and understand all this , there should be no problem.
I know a guy that is the frontman for a very successful 80s hair metal band and the girls throw them selves at him all the time. His wife understands the nature of the business also and their marriage has survived 20 plus years of his being the object of adulation of the fans.
To be fair , I also know a couple of guys that had the jealous type of wife (or girlfriend) and their significant others made their lives miserable over it. They didn't last too long in the industry because of this.
If you both trust each other and understand all this , there should be no problem.
I know a guy that is the frontman for a very successful 80s hair metal band and the girls throw them selves at him all the time. His wife understands the nature of the business also and their marriage has survived 20 plus years of his being the object of adulation of the fans.
To be fair , I also know a couple of guys that had the jealous type of wife (or girlfriend) and their significant others made their lives miserable over it. They didn't last too long in the industry because of this.
People have about the same amount or more of affairs at day jobs.
Bars are not the reason.
Bars are not the reason.
MDBass
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- Nov 7, 2012
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Nothing has "turned south" here; you asked how we felt about it, and the overwhelming response was that you're making a big deal about nothing.
Your wife doesn't feel like going out on Friday's and you do: make her dinner, tuck her in, and go jam for a few hours.
Sounds like you have a solid, trusting marriage, and I no idea what you're concerned about.
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I'm not sure what's happening, Slo changed his post, but there is still some subtext there I don't quite follow.
Try this:
-Say you will go to jam night.
-Get your gear ready on the night, but set up in the living room.
-Have your better half pick songs from your music collection and jam along.
-Proceed to the bedroom at the end of the night...
Try this:
-Say you will go to jam night.
-Get your gear ready on the night, but set up in the living room.
-Have your better half pick songs from your music collection and jam along.
-Proceed to the bedroom at the end of the night...
My wife has come to see a lot of my different bands over the years, but I would never expect her to drag herself out to a bar after work on my account. Half the time, I'd rather be chilling on the sofa than killing time, waiting to go on.
To me, it sounds like you really want her to go -so she can share what you enjoy so much - but she's too tired to enjoy it & needs some quiet time to unwind. - I'd ask a buddy if they would like to go - or find another guy that likes to perform at open mikes and make it a thing with your wife showing up occasionally.
