I remember during band class, I brought the double bass out for like the first time and one of them said "That's a big violin". 
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Double Bass Don't you ever wish you played flute?
- Thread starter Bethelbass1
- Start date
I've found that people tend not to comment when I'm using a bass wheel. They do stare a lot more than usual but apparently can't think of anything to say.
but yeah, it's definitely hard to hear the same "clever" question over and over. my plan is to shut them up as quickly as possible. here are my responses for each question. they usually let you get away from the subject pretty quickly.
"why didn't you pick violin?"
"i did."
(i myself did start with violin. if you didn't, or if the person looks particularly obnoxious, i'm fond of "it just wouldn't stop growing," or "it has a pituitary disorder," both of which i think have already been mentioned on here.)
"don't you wish you played flute?"
"no.
"
(quick and easy. alternatively, glare and look insulted.)
"is that a cello?"
"it's even bigger."
(or for the kids and old ladies, a simple "no" usually does the trick.)
"what is that?"
"my baby.
"
(or for annoying people, good ol' "your mom.")
if you're not used to fending confused or obnoxious or clever spectators off, hopefully this list will help you out a little bit.
"why didn't you pick violin?"
"i did."
(i myself did start with violin. if you didn't, or if the person looks particularly obnoxious, i'm fond of "it just wouldn't stop growing," or "it has a pituitary disorder," both of which i think have already been mentioned on here.)
"don't you wish you played flute?"
"no.
" (quick and easy. alternatively, glare and look insulted.)
"is that a cello?"
"it's even bigger."
(or for the kids and old ladies, a simple "no" usually does the trick.)
"what is that?"
"my baby.
"(or for annoying people, good ol' "your mom.")
if you're not used to fending confused or obnoxious or clever spectators off, hopefully this list will help you out a little bit.
One night I was playing a jazz gig at an expensive yuppie-ish restaurant in San Francisco. On my way to the men's room, two thirty-something ladies dining together pull me aside. They have a bet, they tell me--loser buys dinner. Is my instrument a bass or a cello?
In this case, for once, non-ignorance was rewarded.
The loser didn't give up so easily, though. She kept on asking questions such as, "It's pretty much the same as a cello, right?"
In this case, for once, non-ignorance was rewarded.
The loser didn't give up so easily, though. She kept on asking questions such as, "It's pretty much the same as a cello, right?"
saxnbass said:I remember during band class, I brought the double bass out for like the first time and one of them said "That's a big violin".
Well it is.
When I'm carrying the bass in its bag, and someone inquires, "Don't you wish you played flute?", I tell them, "Oh, this is a flute, I just got the extra padded case."
Last week, I got into an argument with a beginner violin player about German v. French grip. He said, "Why do you hold the bow that way?" I replied, "It's German grip." Then he said, "No, that's French." After a brief debate, I pulled out my music book, and showed him the picture depicting German and French bowing. He just looked at me blankly, and said, "So you're playing the French way." I honestly didn't know what else to say to the kid, so I just pretended to get really distracted by something until he went away.
My electric bass instructor (who played a little upright) always told people that it was his dead grandmother in the bag he was carrying.
Last week, I got into an argument with a beginner violin player about German v. French grip. He said, "Why do you hold the bow that way?" I replied, "It's German grip." Then he said, "No, that's French." After a brief debate, I pulled out my music book, and showed him the picture depicting German and French bowing. He just looked at me blankly, and said, "So you're playing the French way." I honestly didn't know what else to say to the kid, so I just pretended to get really distracted by something until he went away.
My electric bass instructor (who played a little upright) always told people that it was his dead grandmother in the bag he was carrying.
I recently had my bass called an electric cello as well as a BASSoon (long A sound)
The man who called it a BASSoon was a banjo player, so I pitied him and enlightened him to what a bassoon is.
The man who called it a BASSoon was a banjo player, so I pitied him and enlightened him to what a bassoon is.
saxnbass said:I remember during band class, I brought the double bass out for like the first time and one of them said "That's a big violin".
Audiophage said:
No... It's not. It has a different shape, different tuning system, different musical role, AND a different historical lineage.
As for the thread subject, I typically give the flute questioners a breif explination of my love of the bass, appreciation for the sonic qualities of the flute, and respect for flutists. All other questions receive a similarly respectful and corrective answer unless I'm in a hurry, in which case they are ignored. It do think that it would be cool to have a pamphlet that actually has the history, musical importance, and role of the double bass as well as some good diagrams comparing and contrasting it with some of the instruments it's mistaken for.
ya i get the flute thinng alot ill try some of the lines you guys used just to shove it in there faces next time
travatron4000 said:
Actually, ccording to Bruns 'New history of the Double Bass' is pretty much is a big violin. Shape is different to make it easier to play, tuning system has never really settled for any long period of time, musical role is of course different, as it is a different instrument (cello's role also v. different) AND historical lineage Brun argues is the same. He's adamant the bass is a member of the violin family and not of the viol/gamba. Now back to something humourous...
well, the only one i've seen (not said to me since i've yet to purchase a DB) was on the subway (or metro, as it's called here) and there was an orchestra player all suited up and some guy asked him what was it that he was carrying
in spanish, the DB is called 'Contrabajo' wich sounds like two words: 'Con' & 'trabajo' wich means "with work' xD. and the player said "es un contrabajo" (meaning: it's a double bass)
so the guy answers (more or less) "sure takes a lot of work to carry that!"
sure was funny
in spanish, the DB is called 'Contrabajo' wich sounds like two words: 'Con' & 'trabajo' wich means "with work' xD. and the player said "es un contrabajo" (meaning: it's a double bass)
so the guy answers (more or less) "sure takes a lot of work to carry that!"
sure was funny
D
I've heard the flute comments on the elevators here more than i care to remember [i'm living in a dorm].
I made the mistake once of taking my bass onto the L during rush hour on my way to a gig. Worst Decision Ever. Not because of any comments-but because the train was packed solid.
How i generally respond to the comments depend on how i perceive the person. If i get the flute comment & they're giving off the vibe they think that they are the first person ever to ask me that, they get either a simple no or some sort of retort.
My favorite responses are: "no-it's my laundry"-if i'm goin to the practice rooms [on the same floor as the laundry room], "flute? I only play strings". "it's a dead body..."
I made the mistake once of taking my bass onto the L during rush hour on my way to a gig. Worst Decision Ever. Not because of any comments-but because the train was packed solid.
How i generally respond to the comments depend on how i perceive the person. If i get the flute comment & they're giving off the vibe they think that they are the first person ever to ask me that, they get either a simple no or some sort of retort.
My favorite responses are: "no-it's my laundry"-if i'm goin to the practice rooms [on the same floor as the laundry room], "flute? I only play strings". "it's a dead body..."
- Mar 1, 2005
- 3,101
- 385
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- Endorsing Artist: Crook Custom Guitars
I only wish I played flute when my back is a wreck from carrying heavy gear for years......just this morning I was at the physical therapists office, he put me in traction, and I go back again next week for more treatment. Other than days like that, its all bass, all the time.
Q. Dont you wish you played flute?
A. Nope, flute is for (insert slang term for cats)
Simple and straight to the point. It will work for any other instrument as well
A. Nope, flute is for (insert slang term for cats)
Simple and straight to the point. It will work for any other instrument as well
Random Idiot(RI)-"What is that thing?"
Me-"It's a double bass."
RI-"Oh" *Walks away with friends
RI-to his friends-"Double bass... is like... two basses put together?"
Me-"It's a double bass."
RI-"Oh" *Walks away with friends
RI-to his friends-"Double bass... is like... two basses put together?"
I had my bass in a flight case once, and the shuttle bus driver to the rental car place asked if it was a weapon of mass destruction.
My response: "Only in the wrong hands"
My response: "Only in the wrong hands"
- Mar 1, 2005
- 3,101
- 385
- 62
- Disclosures
- Endorsing Artist: Crook Custom Guitars
I live in an apartment building of mostly seniors, a couple of which have pretty clever double bass related comments:
One guy, every time he sees me (a few times a week) yells out "That's the biggest machine gun I've ever seen"
Somehow, I still find it funny - especially when there are other people around.
Most of my neighbors, however, have no idea what I'm carrying, so when they ask what it is, I tell them its my dance partner, but she's so ugly that I have to take her around town in a bag!
fm
One guy, every time he sees me (a few times a week) yells out "That's the biggest machine gun I've ever seen"
Somehow, I still find it funny - especially when there are other people around.
Most of my neighbors, however, have no idea what I'm carrying, so when they ask what it is, I tell them its my dance partner, but she's so ugly that I have to take her around town in a bag!
fm
