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drummer blues AGAIN

redwingxix

redwingxix

Oct 21, 2015
1,394
3,814
52
detroit
#1
Am I the only one one who's band has to get a new drummer every year? It seems like we get a new drummer, get them up to speed, start gigging again and then once things really start picking up they move, decide they don't want to play anymore or forget what tempo means and we end up starting the process all over. We are a five piece- me, guitar, guitar/ vocals and keys that have been playing together for about five years and have gone through four drummers now. We are all a very low ego group of gents and believe that every members has an equal say in band affairs but find ourselves in the same situation again and again. We aren't professionals and have no illusions about what we are here to do, but other than the occasional charity event we play paid gigs fairly regularly. Does anybody have any insight on maintaining the relationship with the drummer, making them feel as they are truly part of the band or anything that's come up for you in the past that might be useful or should I just plan to start up a bluegrass/ mariachi fusion group next? Thanks, people.
 
#4
Roughly where are you?

How often do you rehearse?

How much take-home pay does each member average per show?

Setting up and tearing down drums is a beast. Maybe get together with the other members and buy a cheap set to keep in the rehearsal spot so they only have to bring cymbals and maybe a snare?

In one of my bands we just agreed to start meeting at the drummer's house, even though it's a longer drive for the rest of us. So he doesn't have to set up/tear down at all for rehearsal.

Understanding the special circumstances of drummers will help. They might not be willing to share their thoughts for fear of appearing to be a whiner.

Other than that, to have friends you gotta be a friend.

Best of luck with it.
 
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#5
redwingxix said:
Just trying to get a handle on the groundhog day experience cause I don't think bagging andie mcdowell is going to help this time.
Click to expand...

Hilarious! "You definitely need a program, to know who the players are...".

Unknown vendor, at minor league baseball game...

... when you think about it, a lot of similarities, between the two... just different equipment, right? It's hard to establish any type of loyalty, within an organized group, especially with the 'promise' of greener ($$$) pastures...

... I guess there's a cost, for everything.
 
#7
We are in the detroit area. I bought a kit a couple years ago (I can't play drums at all) to keep at our singer's house for practice sessions which is ten minutes away for everybody else and 20 minutes away for me. Take home is usually $100-$150 a gig. Not a ton but decent pay for a really fun night out. We all have day jobs and families. Usually practice once a week and take a week off after a gig.

Maybe the fear of being perceived as whiny and then just getting frustrated is a factor...

Thanks
 
#8
I'm a drummer by trade, (apart from when I'm a decorator), and the reason I became one was due to not being able to find a drummer, or one good enough for the band. (That was about 25 years ago)
I agree with the effort involved in lugging drums around (particularly at festivals in England) but I do it without question, because I love playing.
There was one band in particular however, who, after setting up and all it entails, would chat for 80% of the time, and 'catch up' with each others lives, instead of rehearsing, I finally blew up, and that became a point of contention. (During later rehearsals, the main chatter had a go at us for being outside smoking for 10 minutes)
Sometimes, it's hard to keep enthusiasm for music, maybe it wasn't their thing, or, because it's not a full time job, family/life takes over, and music goes by the wayside..
I've had to be in at least 2 but sometimes 4 or 5 bands, to keep busy enough, as most of the members had small children, and it wasn' possible to do tours, etc..
Being honest with what you expect from the next drummer will help, and hopefully things will work out better next time.
All the best.
 
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#9
redwingxix said:
Didn't mean to sound like I'm piling on drummers, my thinking is that it's us not them. Just trying to get a handle on the groundhog day experience cause I don't think bagging andie mcdowell is going to help this time.
Click to expand...

Since you may be looking for "reflective" topics, is it possible that your set list is just boring or the group is lacking energy? Drummers could be using your band as a "close enough" project until something more appealing comes along.

I recently auditioned for a group that was musically OK, but the combination of the dad band set list and the "folky" energy was too much for me to spend any time on. Not that I'm anything special, but if I'd have given it a go, I know it would have been a pretty short term project for me - I was bored with their set list by the time I auditioned.

I'm sure the individuals all had their reasons, but it must have been something pretty compelling to make someone in a gigging band walkaway after a year of time invested.
 
#11
We parted ways with our drummer last summer. He was playing in other acts, which is fine for the most part. He joined yet another band, their big debut happened to be on the night of a large gig we had on schedule for several months. We found out from FB, not from him, we were forced to cancel the gig. He wanted us to forgive him but it wasn't the first time he put others before us. We found another drummer, been bringing him up to speed thru the winter. I like him a lot, we lock in like I never have before with the other drummer. Now the new drummer came to us and said he loves playing with us but his time is limited, back to square one.
We're working with the old drummer for a one off show. Every rehearsal I have flashbacks of the bad stuff we didn't have with the new drummer. The original drummer wears a headset Mic and chimes in whenever he wants even though he has almost zero vocal talent. He also refuses to take any direction what so ever. His timing has seemed to of taken a turn for the worse since we let him go too.
We have quite a few sweet gigs lined up for the summer, and I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
 
#13
In my Maryland band there were 3 of us that had been playing together steadily for close to 30 years and on and off for 45 years. We had other members that came and went over the bulk of the 30 years. We'd get a singer and adapt our song list to whatever music the singer was best at. We had several bass players and even keyboards at one point. I'd play rhythm guitar when we had a bass player. A couple of years ago the drummer just got tired of playing and decided to completely retire from playing any music at all.

That left myself playing bass and the lead guitarist. We have been through a steady succession of drummers since then. I don't know what it takes to find a drummer that's willing to put in the work and practice. Since I live in North Carolina now (for the last 12 years) practices are few and far between. We have a very good singer now that comes to practice prepared. We do gig 2 or 3 times a year, usually for a party or to do a benefit. We make the new drummers aware from the get-go that we don't practice much and that they will be expected to show up at practice ready to play the tunes. The drummers always say that they're fine with the arrangement and that they'll practice and learn the songs in their off time. Invariably every time though the drummers don't practice.

His lack of practice is having a very bad effect on our ability to provide a quality show. Our last show was so bad that I've refused to do another show until the drummer either learns the songs or we get a new drummer. It's not rocket science and the music we play is mainstream classic rock. Just how hard can this be?
 
#14
Lets face it, a great drummer will make your band, and most of the great drummers I have known over the years have always had pretty serious inclinations towards the kind of music they really enjoy. If you want to keep a great drummer, make sure you play music that said drummist is KEEN ON... :)
 
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#15
redwingxix said:
Am I the only one one who's band has to get a new drummer every year? It seems like we get a new drummer, get them up to speed, start gigging again and then once things really start picking up they move, decide they don't want to play anymore or forget what tempo means and we end up starting the process all over. We are a five piece- me, guitar, guitar/ vocals and keys that have been playing together for about five years and have gone through four drummers now. We are all a very low ego group of gents and believe that every members has an equal say in band affairs but find ourselves in the same situation again and again. We aren't professionals and have no illusions about what we are here to do, but other than the occasional charity event we play paid gigs fairly regularly. Does anybody have any insight on maintaining the relationship with the drummer, making them feel as they are truly part of the band or anything that's come up for you in the past that might be useful or should I just plan to start up a bluegrass/ mariachi fusion group next? Thanks, people.
Click to expand...
I think a lot of bands treat drummers and sometimes bass players as second class members of the band. It can’t be like that. You have to make them feel welcomed. To give an example. Recently my band has been taking it easy mainly playing only in town gigs every 6 weeks or so because my drummers wife is pregnant and he’s working on an addition to their home for the baby. He claimed he wouldn’t care if we got someone to fill in so we could play as much as we usually do. We slowed things down when my wife and our singers wife were closer to delivering and his situation will allow him to get back to playing as often as the rest of us can with our families and stuff so we told him. “Let’s just take it easy and just play the venue that’s literally 5 minutes from your house until after the baby is born and your wife has recovered” if the band can shift into a lower gear for me and for our singer, we’re going to do the same for our drummer. Things like that are why my band has been a band for like 17 years now. Loyalty is mutual. Lot bands also unknowingly disrespect drummers when it comes to writing music or picking covers for example. Always ask for their opinion and Ideas. They may not be able to play their idea on your instrument but if they have an idea at least be open to trying it even if you have to sorta figure out what they are describing. Even if it’s a drummer that’s totally clueless when it comes to what notes you’re playing(ours does play guitar a little) they still have an opinion. They know what music they like and don’t like. I think that goes beyond keeping band members also. If you want to play music that attracts more people you need to be willing to listen to criticism from more people. If the rest of the band isn’t willing to listen to the drummers opinions that’s probably part of the problem.
 
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#16
BurnOut said:
We parted ways with our drummer last summer. He was playing in other acts, which is fine for the most part. He joined yet another band, their big debut happened to be on the night of a large gig we had on schedule for several months. We found out from FB, not from him, we were forced to cancel the gig. He wanted us to forgive him but it wasn't the first time he put others before us. We found another drummer, been bringing him up to speed thru the winter. I like him a lot, we lock in like I never have before with the other drummer. Now the new drummer came to us and said he loves playing with us but his time is limited, back to square one.
We're working with the old drummer for a one off show. Every rehearsal I have flashbacks of the bad stuff we didn't have with the new drummer. The original drummer wears a headset Mic and chimes in whenever he wants even though he has almost zero vocal talent. He also refuses to take any direction what so ever. His timing has seemed to of taken a turn for the worse since we let him go too.
We have quite a few sweet gigs lined up for the summer, and I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Click to expand...

:woot: what a shame.. I'd say get rid of him.. haha.. theres no way I'd play in a band with someone like that.
In his defence though, I have double booked a fair amount of times, and now my other bands have deps, for when i can't do the gig, due to a previously arranged gig with another band, but I would never choose between them, I would honour the original gig.
It depends on how much you want the person who plays the instrument too, but if they can take no direction, I'd say that is a dead end.
 
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#17
GCQ23 said:
:woot: what a shame.. I'd say get rid of him.. haha.. theres no way I'd play in a band with someone like that.
In his defence though, I have double booked a fair amount of times, and now my other bands have deps, for when i can't do the gig, due to a previously arranged gig with another band, but I would never choose between them, I would honour the original gig.
It depends on how much you want the person who plays the instrument too, but if they can take no direction, I'd say that is a dead end.
Click to expand...
We're gonna do this one off show, then we'll make a decision. If I could stomp on his headset Mic it would help my situation greatly.
 
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#19
May I introduce you to Drummy, aka DrumBum, aka Animal. You don't have to solicit his opinion about anything. He's right up front about whatever it is. He is a handful: He will proudly tell you he's been fired from every band he ever played with, not because of lack of skill (He still goes to drum clinics; I've never played with a drummer so devoted to his craft) but for being, well...crazy. Maybe he has mellowed with age, because our BL loves him, as do we all, even when he pulls stunts like standing up in the middle of a set and hollering "I GOTTA PEE" and running off stage. Note the Sesame Street dolls on his rig. He never plays without them "I gotta have my kids!"

032318WIPDrummy.jpg
 
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