Dumb Craig's List Ads thread

[NickInMesa]

I don't have an issue with peavey.. There's just a lot of people out there who believe they are the real deal american made company.

Because they are.

 

[My name is Mudd]

This may not be totally in context for the thread, but I kinda admire this guy's optimism. The ad's been up on the Bakersfield CL for about three weeks now...

- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -

PAIR OF DRUMSTICKS - $5 (ROSEDALE)
Date: 2009-08-28, 6:46PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

PAIR OF VIC FIRTH 5B DRUMSTICKS. STILL IN GOOD SHAPE, DAUGHTER BARELY USED THEM. $5.00. PLEASE EMAIL IF INTERESTED, OR CALL 661-xxx-xxxx.

 

[jefwho]

I don't know that id call this one dumb, but it made me lol.


BASS SEEKS RICKY 12 FOR ILLICIT LOVEFEST (High Desert)
Date: 2009-08-28, 9:45AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

MY BASS SEES YOUR RICKY 12 AS A MILF...HOT AND EXPERIENCED...AND WANTS TO GET TOGETHER FOR A CASUAL RELATIONSHIP. IF WE ADD KEYS AND DRUMS FOR A SWEATY FOURWAY, ALL THE BETTER. PLEASE RESPOND BEFORE MY GIBSON GROWS ANOTHER FRET!

 

[roschmbo]

I'm not sure... is this guy looking for a band?


oldies.. (chino.... wherever i dont care)
Date: 2009-08-30, 4:18PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

ok so im going to copy and paste an email i just sent someone.. but keep in mind my main ifluences are.. chuck to bill hailey.. from zepp to maiden.. to rosie and the originals to the temps and heatwave and blue magic to alot of old rockabilly and country(merle and cash or what have you) from DASHBOARD CONNF. TO CHRIS ISSAK TO AGAINST ME!!!!!!. LET ME KNOW WHAT YOUR INTO AND IFU HAVE UR OWN STUFF AND NEED THAT EXTRA GEETAR PLEASE LET ME KNOW..........l.. ifur main influences are zeppelin you havent seen a thing yet.... my name is jason im 23 i live with my dad in chino.. weve had bands at our house for the past 6 years.. i mean talk about zepp fanatic theres really no pics of family its all signed and actual photos of zepp themselves.. we live in chino and have everything u need to play.. about 10 guitars 3 halfstacks and an extra head.. and a bunch of random amps.. basses and amps.. loud nice PA a ludwig accent custom drumset... and all the support u need!!! 420 and beer is a +.. so ifu down to come chill and jam out i could let my dad know.... give me a lil info bout urselfs first... not like it matters but still... ya never know... theres some crazy people out there.. well heres MY # 909 573 9902

 

[John Herzog]

I think craig's list needs to add a new flagging category..."Stupid Post"

 

[SchecterC4]

Reading this post made my eyes bleed..

HEY WHATS UP MY NAME IS CHRIS,IM 19 AND I LIVE IN SOUTH SAN JOSE. IM LOOKING FOR MY OWN NAT LOL IF U KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT 3OH3 HE IS THE GUY WHO DOES THE BEATS. I DONT KNOW HOW TO DO ALL THAT STUFF SO THATS WHERE U COME IN, I DONT CARE WHAT U LOOK LIKE ALL I CARE ABOUT IS THAT U WANT TO BE IN THIS FOR THE LONG RUN,YEP THAT MEANS GO ON TOURS AND EVERYTHING ELSE. THIS IS THE REAL DEAL WE WILL HAVE OVER 100,000 FRIENDS BY THE END OF OUR FIRST YEAR AND I WOULD HOPE TO PLAY HUGE TOURS SUCH AS THE AP AND WARPED TOUR. IF U PLAY SOMETHING I ALSO MIGHT WANT U I THINK IT MIGHT BE COOL TO HAVE A DRUMMER,AND A FEW GUITAR PLAYERS. IF THIS SEEMS LIKE SOMETHING U WOULD BE DOWN FOR GIVE ME A CALL OR EMAIL ME AND WE CAN TALK MORE AND GET STARTED RIGHT AWAY. BTW THE BANDS NAME WILL BE "HELP ME HAILEY" CUZ I REALLY LIKE THAT NAME AND THINK IT FITS WITH THE POP/TECHNO/ROCK FEEL THAT IM GOING FOR HOPE TO HEAR FROM U SOON.
-CHRIS

WHAT I WANT FROM U
BE SERIOUS
BE AROUND MY AGE A LITTLE OLDER IS FINE
BE READY TO RECORD AND DO SHOWS/TOURS
LIVE IN SAN JOSE OR BE WILLING TO TRAVEL

WHAT I WANT US TO SOUND LIKE-
3OH3
INNERPARTYSYSTUM
COBRA STARSHIP
LMFAO
METRO STATION
ALL TIME LOW
THE MAINE
BLINK 182

IF U PLAY BASS,DRUMS OR GUITAR I WOULD STILL LIKE TO TALK TO U AND TRY TO MAKE THIS A FULL BAND

 

[caeman]

Reading this post made my eyes bleed..

BUT, CERTAINLY THE ALL-CAPS HELPED TO ILLUSTRATE HIS POINT MORE CLEARLY?

 

[NickInMesa]

I think craig's list needs to add a new flagging category..."Stupid Post"

That's most of Craig's List.

Too bad they removed the "adult" section, that was VERY entertaining (and no, I never called any of the "providers").

 

[MonkeyBass]

if "U" can't be bothered to spell out "you" and turn of the damn caps locks key then "eye" can't be bothered to take "U" seriously.

 

[woodsideh]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

A drummer is doing the advertising.

 

[My name is Mudd]

I just found [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] on the Bakersfield CL - first off, the amp's apparently in New York and yet he lists it on the Bako page, and secondly, does that price seem a little out of line, even if it's as good as he says it is?

 

[RobertPaulson]

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

A drummer is doing the advertising.

Male or Female... Guess they have it out for transvestites...

 

[RobertPaulson]

this one was pretty good

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

I consider myself to have very high musical integrity, meaning I refuse to subject my audience to less than a great, entertaining, thought-provoking, money's-worth type of show. I love to get deep into the music, but also love to just ROCK and/or jam out. I think the audience does as well, and the right mix of both is what I'm putting together.

I have people of all instruments that I am considering, but before anything is finalized I'd like to let everyone have a chance to get their name in for consideration as well. Bass, guitar, keyboard, vocals, drums, percussion, whatever you play you're welcome to hit me up and let me know you'd be interested in starting something new and committing to it. You'll have plenty of time to understand the direction of the band before you make your commitment, so don't worry. For each instrument, whoever is the best fit for the band will get the first shot.

If your primary instrument isn't one I mentioned, you better be damn good at it but you will be considered as well. Honestly if you are not damn good at your instrument already, you need to have the musical knowledge and motivation to be able to get damn good in a short amount of time if you are to be considered. If you believe in god, no disrespect meant by saying "god damn" - I've heard it said that "rock'n'roll is the devil's music," so it may technically be appropriate in this case.

This band is going to be amazing with or without you. If you'd prefer "with" then you have labor day weekend to send me an email if you want to be considered, and I'll fill you in on more details.

hahahaha

 

[NKUSigEp]

Rock Bassist Wanted (but not needed!) (Cincy/Dayton/etc)

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Date: 2009-09-04, 10:49AM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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We are an established band with label & management seeking a talented bassist that also has VOCAL ABILITY. Mostly backing vox but if you wanna some sing lead thats fine too. But you got to SING and sing well. We have recently released our debut CD. We also play covers and do club work along with large concert venues/regional tours with nationals supporting our record. Serious inquiries only please. This is a professional outfit playing traditional/classic/mid-west hard rock. We are patiently seeking the right player/fit for our group.



...Sounds to me like they just want a singer? They obviously don't NEED a bass player. LOL

 

[R. Laevinus]

This thread is amazing! I'm comforted by the knowledge that most of these folks will likely go on to be Darwin Award winners.

Check this out:

Super Pro Bassist Ready for World Domination

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Date: 2009-09-02, 3:08PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

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I am an extremely experienced Super Pro bass player and I am looking for any band with at least 6 months of gigs booked and or a major recording contract. I pick up music incredibly quick. I am able to learn new material 2 bars in advance, while onstage, of the next chord change based on my supremely accurate ear. As well as playing like a rock god I have the look of the rockstar super nova. I have styled my look after an old Peter Frampton poster from the 70's, which I found incidentally during the garbage strike near Jane and Finch, complete with the long blond curly locks that all my ladies love.

If you need someone like me in your band, consider that I do have attitude and I am high maintenance but I can play the bass better than anyone in Toronto.


it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1355260009


Don't you wish you could be just like this guy? I do!

 

[TBrett]

This thread is amazing! I'm comforted by the knowledge that most of these folks will likely go on to be Darwin Award winners.

Check this out:

Super Pro Bassist Ready for World Domination

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: 2009-09-02, 3:08PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I am an extremely experienced Super Pro bass player and I am looking for any band with at least 6 months of gigs booked and or a major recording contract. I pick up music incredibly quick. I am able to learn new material 2 bars in advance, while onstage, of the next chord change based on my supremely accurate ear. As well as playing like a rock god I have the look of the rockstar super nova. I have styled my look after an old Peter Frampton poster from the 70's, which I found incidentally during the garbage strike near Jane and Finch, complete with the long blond curly locks that all my ladies love.

If you need someone like me in your band, consider that I do have attitude and I am high maintenance but I can play the bass better than anyone in Toronto.


it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1355260009


Don't you wish you could be just like this guy? I do!

Oh yeah.... Especially the high maintenance and Peter Frampton image with the curly locks that all his ladies love! Oh, wait - I forgot to mention his supremely accurate ear that allows him to learn new material 2 bars in advance of the next chord change. While on stage, no less! Nope, don't think there's any bass players quite like him around here. My bf, who is also my bass player, is thinking of leaving the band to make room for this guy, because he feels that no one else stands a chance with this guy on the scene.

 

[moffshiggits]

Uhhh.....


Profesional ass player look for a AND!
Date: 2009-08-28, 4:34PM CDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Hi my name is arney my keyoard is meesed up on my computer so the letter that comes efor c doesnt work to good so ignore it. i play ass reel good and people think i had played it for 100 yeahrs. i play only metal and rock and stuff that has some hardness! no cuntry@! well country ok ut i like metal cuz its fast. you know like metalica ass playing is real hard tho cuz it is faster than conutry. i play pro stuff like fendir and amps to. if u wnt to meet me i work at urger king and just ask for me cuz im in the ack cooking up some french fries. dont cum through the drive through cuz it sucks.

i am so good that people think i teached great assists like flae from the red hot chily pepurs how to play ass as good as he does it!!!!! come see me at wor you will like me i promise and we can start a and. i like only GOOD drummers. i dont kneed a assist cuz I AM THE ASSIST! i need only a good gitarist and some1 tht can right words for us and sing it cuz i am tto usy playing ass to worry singing. my freind tony has a studion in his house and records us for FREE! yes isaid FREE!

anywayz cum see me in the worlds numer 1 ASS PLAYER!

 

[Steve!]

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ................................

 

[eee]

No assists for that ass player!

 

[My name is Mudd]

i play pro stuff like fendir and amps to.

So that's what I've been missing...amps to! No wonder a and won't pick me up as their ass player - I have no amp to, or a (an?) fendir either, for that matter.

See people, this is why CL is an asset (that's asset, not _asset) - it teaches you that equipment is the main priority in a band. Now I can stop wasting my money on instruction and just go buy more pro ass stuff. And grow/perm/dye my hair.