Dumb Craigs Lists Ads, Pt 2, The Idiocy Continues Unabated...

[Elmo Oxygen]

Gotta love those *honest* CL ads:

we need bass grooves (portland)
Date: 2010-04-21, 3:46PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Drummer and lead guitarist need a bassist for riff/groove based jam band.

We are fun guys. Love to goof around and try new ideas.

Styles include but not limited to funk, dance, grunge/metal/punk, psychedelic, alternative, vintage rock sounds, jazz, blues, noise/ambient, et cetera. (We are not a cover band, btw).

We want to take a collaborative approach, use great riffs and jams as the basis for experimentation/improvisation, and to keep the beat happenin' to make people dance and change their worldview (so they'll have sex w/ us).

This isn't a wank fest jam band (OK maybe a little). We can really play! Send an email to jam! Jam!

* Location: portland
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1703697679

The second to last line is the best.

 

[Kenny Allyn]

May not seem funny on the surface ... but take the Youtube link ... you will see :scowl:





Date: 2010-04-21, 2:59PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
________________________________________

drums + lead vocal

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

 

[calebbarton]

Gotta love those *honest* CL ads:

we need bass grooves (portland)
Date: 2010-04-21, 3:46PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Drummer and lead guitarist need a bassist for riff/groove based jam band.

We are fun guys. Love to goof around and try new ideas.

Styles include but not limited to funk, dance, grunge/metal/punk, psychedelic, alternative, vintage rock sounds, jazz, blues, noise/ambient, et cetera. (We are not a cover band, btw).

We want to take a collaborative approach, use great riffs and jams as the basis for experimentation/improvisation, and to keep the beat happenin' to make people dance and change their worldview (so they'll have sex w/ us).

This isn't a wank fest jam band (OK maybe a little). We can really play! Send an email to jam! Jam!

* Location: portland
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



PostingID: 1703697679

The second to last line is the best.

damn you beat me to it

 

[tycobb73]

I wouldn't call this "dumb", kind of awesome really.

GOOD * JOB * PORTLAND * MUSICIANS (They're Taking Over)
Date: 2010-04-20, 12:55PM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]


Great Job Portland Musicians, Open Mics and Karaoke are now more popular than paying gigs Thanks to all of your wonderful support.

You have now managed to kill your own market and then you complain that you have no money and nobody comes to your shows or buys your CDs.

You all need to go to your community college and take a course in business and marketing then you would understand the concept of making $ vs providing services for free.

The club owners love you guys to death because you play and entertain their patrons for free. They're laughing AT you all the way to the bank.

I guess it's like Ron White said , "you can't fix stupid"

Now get out there and support those open mics cause they're here for the long run. I just hope for your sake the food stamp program is too.

* Location: They're Taking Over
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

image 1701683184-0

[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

People like this don't understand. I'm getting a band off the ground with 3 people that have never done this before. So I took them to an open jam night and we played so I could get them used to the stage. This was a Sat night. My band was there, another band was there, the sound man was there, and the waitress was there. That's it. ON A SAT NIGHT. They did good for newbies but we have a long way to go. I would never charge for the quality of show we have now. Meanwhile in another part of town Phalex was probably playing to a couple hundred people for good coin. Guess which bar made more? You get what you pay for.

 

[calebbarton]

heres a good one

PARTY HARD, ROCK HARDER, KICK SOME ASS!!! (SE PDX)

Date: 2010-04-19, 6:09PM PDT
I'm not even kidding, I just wanna rock.Balls to the wall, pedal to the metal, kick ass rock'n'roll!! No "indie" BS, no politics, no unlistenable down tempo noise projects, no blast beats, no double bass, just straight up break yr f*ckin face in rock'n'roll!! Wankin' guitar solos, loud as all hell, pyrotechnics, leather pants, dirty denim vests, the whole nine!! Play hard, party hard, get ****** tattoos!! I wanna put the danger back into rock'n'roll! Nobody has any spirit anymore!! If you wanna start a band with me that kicks ass and you wanna take the show on the road, get at me. I am very serious about this. I feel like people are sick of all this safe **** out there. The kids need to rock and we can give it to em. If yr into beer swillin', lightin **** on fire, whammy bars, bad decisions, strip clubs, or just general debauchery all while rockin out and lookin good doin it, I want to talk to you!! Please be moderately responsible though...quality gear and a car are a must.
Motorhead
Motely Crue
Ratt
Johnny Thunders
Skid Row
Nashville Pussy
Thin Lizzy
AC/DC
Ted Nugent
The Runaways
The Stooges
MC5
Plasmatics
Valient Thorr
Betty Blowtorch
New York Dolls....
Basically anything that rocks...but we should rock harder!! You get the idea.
BTW, I play drums, have for 20 somethin years, toured nationally, went to school for music business and production, and really just wanna do something that could quite possibly be lucrative, although i know the realities of the music business...so I'm not delusional about gettin rich. I just wanna do something fun and honest with some cool people and see where we can take it. So let's do this!!
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

 

[My name is Mudd]

Gotta love those *honest* CL ads...

I would SO reply to that one if it were local-to-me.

 

[rdhbass]

May not seem funny on the surface ... but take the Youtube link ... you will see :scowl:





Date: 2010-04-21, 2:59PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
________________________________________

drums + lead vocal

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I've just posted this on Facebook! Hilarious!!!!!!!

 

[rosanne]

heres a good one

PARTY HARD, ROCK HARDER, KICK SOME ASS!!! (SE PDX)

Please be moderately responsible though...
[Invalid or Expired Link Removed]

Hedging our bets are we?

 

[rosanne]

May not seem funny on the surface ... but take the Youtube link ... you will see :scowl:





Date: 2010-04-21, 2:59PM EDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]
________________________________________

drums + lead vocal

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

Wonder if he has any hearing left? Being in a band with this guy would be living hell.

 

[My name is Mudd]

A few days ago, an ad was up for a Hofner Beatle bass w/case - I e-mailed the guy asking if he had pics. No reply directly from him but I think this may have been the result...

- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -

Hofner Beatle Bass - $350 (hanford)
Date: 2010-04-22, 8:15AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Hofner Icon Beatle Bass and case. $350.
ANY STUPID ONE LINERS WILL BE TREATED AS SPAM/SCAM
AND DELETED! REPLY WITH PH# AND CITY OR BE DELETED.

Location: hanford
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1704542217

 

[rosanne]

A few days ago, an ad was up for a Hofner Beatle bass w/case - I e-mailed the guy asking if he had pics. No reply directly from him but I think this may have been the result...

- [Invalid or Expired Link Removed] -

Hofner Beatle Bass - $350 (hanford)
Date: 2010-04-22, 8:15AM PDT
Reply to: [email protected] [Errors when replying to ads?]

Hofner Icon Beatle Bass and case. $350.
ANY STUPID ONE LINERS WILL BE TREATED AS SPAM/SCAM
AND DELETED! REPLY WITH PH# AND CITY OR BE DELETED.

Location: hanford
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests


PostingID: 1704542217

So are you writing him again?

 

[KimblesNimble]

How about this doosie (not music related):


You stuck my flash drive in your ****** - m4w - 25 (philadelphia)

Date: 2010-04-20, 3:04PM EDT

You stuck my flash drive in your *******. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don't think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one's for you.

We met at a Millcreek Tavern. You said you were from Lancaster. You were beautiful, you liked me. It was perfect. But then…

We went back to my apartment. We watched The Breakfast Club. You had never seen it before. We then ended up in my bed, as planned. And had sex, as planned.

You looked beautiful half covered in my sheets when I left to use the bathroom. When I came back, this is what I saw:

You standing naked at my computer. You with your hand on the keyboard, not typing. You grabbing the flash drive.

The flash drive pops out.

You look at it.

You squat a little bit.

You insert it into your ******, like a ******.

I am speechless.

You proceed to get dressed, say you have to go home, and leave. The number you gave me doesn't work.

I am confused. I'd like to see you again. I'd like to see my flash drive again.

Your name is Rebecca. You have long blond hair.

Please get in touch. I am a very understanding person.

Location: philadelphia
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1701584027

 

[DougD]

People like this don't understand. I'm getting a band off the ground with 3 people that have never done this before. So I took them to an open jam night and we played so I could get them used to the stage. This was a Sat night. My band was there, another band was there, the sound man was there, and the waitress was there. That's it. ON A SAT NIGHT. They did good for newbies but we have a long way to go. I would never charge for the quality of show we have now. Meanwhile in another part of town Phalex was probably playing to a couple hundred people for good coin. Guess which bar made more? You get what you pay for.

With all due respect, I think you are the one that does not understand. That post hits the nail on the head. Pretty much the same thing is happening all over (at least here in Vegas too). People that just want to get up on the stage, and don't care if they get paid or not are ruining things for the rest of us. Every place you look wants a free "Show case" Sad but true.

 

[tycobb73]

With all due respect, I think you are the one that does not understand. That post hits the nail on the head. Pretty much the same thing is happening all over (at least here in Vegas too). People that just want to get up on the stage, and don't care if they get paid or not are ruining things for the rest of us. Every place you look wants a free "Show case" Sad but true.

If your band is threatened by my band playing a free show, then your band must not be very good, because in all honestly mine isn't. They work hard and we will get there. But I could never charge for the quality of show I have right now.

 

[gumtown]

How about this doosie (not music related):


You stuck my flash drive in your ****** - m4w - 25 (philadelphia)

Date: 2010-04-20, 3:04PM EDT

You stuck my flash drive in your *******. If you are reading this, you know who you are. I don't think this is a fad sweeping the city, so this one's for you.

We met at a Millcreek Tavern. You said you were from Lancaster. You were beautiful, you liked me. It was perfect. But then…

We went back to my apartment. We watched The Breakfast Club. You had never seen it before. We then ended up in my bed, as planned. And had sex, as planned.

You looked beautiful half covered in my sheets when I left to use the bathroom. When I came back, this is what I saw:

You standing naked at my computer. You with your hand on the keyboard, not typing. You grabbing the flash drive.

The flash drive pops out.

You look at it.

You squat a little bit.

You insert it into your ******, like a ******.

I am speechless.

You proceed to get dressed, say you have to go home, and leave. The number you gave me doesn't work.

I am confused. I'd like to see you again. I'd like to see my flash drive again.

Your name is Rebecca. You have long blond hair.

Please get in touch. I am a very understanding person.

Location: philadelphia
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 1701584027

ROFLMAO: this is the best one yet, she must have though he was a secret agent spy or something, and would he REALLY want his flash drive back after where it's been?

 

[KimblesNimble]

Ya I knew it was off topic but I stumbled upon it earlier today and all I could think about was posting it here.

 

[Thor]

Pretty outrageous, sorry about the edits, lol.

 

[DougD]

If your band is threatened by my band playing a free show, then your band must not be very good, because in all honestly mine isn't. They work hard and we will get there. But I could never charge for the quality of show I have right now.

It has nothing to do with the band being good not. It's purely a business decision. As an owner, Why would you pay for a band if you can get them to play for free? And if bands are beating down the door to play for free...then you never need to pay. You can "show case" a different band every night of the week. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting your band "exposure" There are plenty of places to do that. Private parties, benefits, church functions, schools, talent shows, Battle of the bands, etc, etc. But if you "show case" yourself at a place where a band can expect payment for their work, then every one that comes after you is expected to "put on a show case". Then NOBODY gets paid. That was the point of the Craig's List rant. IMHO

 

[NickInMesa]

If your band is threatened by my band playing a free show, then your band must not be very good, because in all honestly mine isn't. They work hard and we will get there. But I could never charge for the quality of show I have right now.

There is a dying bar in Mesa called UB's that let's you play for half of the door. They also have concerts once in a while, this is where I saw Epica not long ago.

During the week, it's deserted, totally. With that newbie band I was in not too long ago, I rented the stage. It's basically "pay $60 or have your friends come and spend more than $70". We did the latter.

It was a good stage practice and it helped everybody feel better about the whole thing.

The economy is bad for everybody, by the way, expect it to suck for quite a bit and don't expect to be paid much unless you've got an established reputation.

 

[ajn]

OK, well here's one from today (of course, there is no reply address):

fender jazz bass old - $500 (510 yaknow)
Date: 2010-04-22, 4:30PM PDT
Reply to: see below

so yeah i got ths old fedner jazz bass that i got fom my gpop a while back.he say he got it from uptown music shop back in 1971 it is orange and red color with these sqwares on the wood part where you put your fingers at. the case old too it black with oragne on the inside and some spray paint on it that say wild cherry and hit me up if you want to chek it. so yo dont be hatin and ask me if it stolen it aint and i coul prove it to.
peace,
Lacashuan