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Dumbest/most embarrassing bass moments

T

Tim1

Sep 9, 2005
4,531
3,750
New Zealand
#1
I haven't seen a thread like this, so I thought it might be a bit of fun. The idea is to post a time when you did something really stupid or embarrassing on stage. Here's one of my worst moments:
Playing a small 300 seater concert with some very good musos who I admire very much, backing an experienced artist. I was desperate to make a good impression, took along my Mesa Diesel Roadready 215 cab, the Mesa 400+ head and '69 Fender Jazz. Soundcheck in the afternoon, all good. Made sure the gear was safe until we came back later. Got to the gig that night, played the first song - the bass sounded terrible. Spent the first set fiddling with EQ etc. and consequently not playing my best. Sweating. At the intermission one of the very professional other musicians quietly observed to me that it might help my sound if I removed the front road case cover off the speaker! Doh!
 
#4
That is a CLASSIC!!!Talk about stupid,Here's mine:
First off,I'm 6'5",265lbs.,size 15 shoe.My good friend,who is also a bass player,had just purchased an Alembic Spoiler.It was mint,maybe 2yrs.old.His band had a booking in my town,so,naturally I go checkem' out,(well,really the bass,I'm a gear whore).Everything sounds great, we are gushing about the electronics in the bass and how great they sound.

Second set:SOUNDS GREAT!!

Third Set:He asks me,"You wanna start the set out,play a few?"Me,"Hell,yeah!"

So,I'm jamming my heart out,sweat just pouring,feels good.A slapping section is coming up,so,my dumbass wants to see how the bass sounds slapped thru the P.A.I step off the stage and I hear a huge crackle thru the P.A. and a slight tug on the bass.NO NOISE THRU THE BASS.I look down and my bigass foot had stepped on the cord and JERKED IT OUT OF THE WOOD OF A MINT ALEMBIC BASS!!We done surgery right there on a pool table.Glued it back w/Elmer's wood glue.It came out in one big chunk around where the jack is mounted.Still holding to this day.Thank God.
 
#6
I almost broke a rib on stage once. Band I was playing in right out of college was your typical college rock originals band. During one song I though it would be fun to jump off the drum riser at the end of a song. Came down on the second to last note and the bass wedged between my thigh and my ribcage on landing. Excruciating pain shot through my chest and I fell over backward from the crouch I was in. The timing was such that I hit my back right on the last note of the song, which I actually managed to play. The crowd went nuts, but it took me a minute to catch my breath after I got up. After that I decided no more jumping off things while playing. :(
 
#7
Playing for a small bar crowd with a singer who lines his "empties" on the front of the stage and every once in a while will punt them into the crowd. so I decide to get in on the action cuz the crowd seemed to be into it, so I haul off and give a field goal kick on a full beer (didn't know it at the time) and drill it into the side of this chicks face! she dropped like she got tazzed and her friends had to escort her out. I had all her friends trying to talk to me while I was still playing. All I could make out was your an A-hole! I felt like total sh*t. I apologized after that set... she was cool with it, but herfriends wern't.
 
#8
Nirvana's 'Aneurysm' always seemed to end violently for my old 3 piece band.

First time - playing a coffee shop, we're ending our set, Aneurysm as the closer. I step on top of my Carvin 15" combo, flying leap off to the end section. RIP. Stepped on my cable causing it to rip out of the bass and sent me falling over onto the floor.

Second time - The 3 piece had split up, nd the two succesive bands are playing a show together. We decided afterwards to brin the 3 piece back for a few songs. Aneurysm. Rocking my ass of all over the place yealling Beat It! Beat It! I trip over a surge protector and with every ounce of Kurt Cobain in me manage to fly right into the drumset/drummer, knocking him, his snare, and hi hi-hat to the ground. I was immediately hit in the head with a tossed drumstick and managed to bend my drummers hi-hat rod, but it was one hell of an ending.
 
#9
A couple years ago my band was opening up for Dope, Manntis, and I think Bleed the Sky at a club about 6 hours away from home. A friend of mine had his bass amp crap out right before their set, so I let him borrow mine. Everything sounds great, he has some awesome tone, whole 9 yards. So when he finishes their set, we take the gear off stage, wait for the next band, then I'm up! I get on stage, plug everything in, tune up, then I click the standby on...there is no sound!!! I proceeded to check all the cables, check my tubes, even go so far as to take the back plate off of my bass to change the battery, and still nothing. As I'm about to have a stroke I realize...my volume control is on 0. Oops lol
 
#10
Just one? You guys aren't trying hard enough.

Most painful: sliding across the hardwood dance floor on my knees in nylon parachute pants.

Most embarrassing: jumping off the 6 ft high stage with a 25 ft cord. I didn't quite make it to the ground with the bass. The bridge was about eye level and the head stock was pointing straight down. Of course the lead guitarist did and extra long solo that time, but I finished the song.

Loudest: One night we were playing a small bar with only a handful of people, I was playing a Peavey TNT 115 and lead guitar was playing a Fender Twin. So during one song that the other guitar did the lead, me and lead 1 jumped over the monitor and ran onto the dance floor. About 20 ft out both amps were pulled over off the chairs and onto their faces. The Peavey TANK was fine, but I busted the cord. The Twin lost a couple tubes.

Most painful to others: The night I was dancing around on stage and spun around and smacked the singer in the side of the face with the post side of the tuners. I couldn't believe he wouldn't sing the third verse, there wasn't that much blood.

I wouldn't say I was dangerous, It's just best to give me my personal space.
 
#11
dcallred said:
I couldn't believe he wouldn't sing the third verse, there wasn't that much blood.
Click to expand...

hahahah i actually lol'd.

ive done the whole check everything because theres no sound before. its always something like im not plugged in or the volume knob is at 0.

i tend to move a lot when i play, going for a big jump ive slipped trying and slipped landing, both times on my you know what. usually good for a good laugh.

ive never pulled a rig down, but ive stepped on cables pulling them out of my bass. its quite funny when youre coming up to a big energetic part and suddenly youre not making any noise. i usually try to plug 'er back in fast but fail, so i dramatically hold up the cable and study the tip, then ever so gracefully, plug it back in. humor relief i guess, cause the crowd seems to respond positively. i never wrap my cable around the amp strap anymore.

one time i stepped on my cable and not only pulled it out of the bass, but it shattered the output jack! i couldnt believe it. i was the bass playing equivelant of speechless.

not embarrassing, but ive also managed to break a few straps before. not the strap nut or anything like that, but the actual strap. one was the plastic length adjuster and another was the actual fabric. i ended up playing like a mini upright. another crowd pleaser apparently.
 
#14
One is embarrassing, the other is weird. Both happened this past weekend.

Embarrassing - kicking off "Brown Eyed Girl" for the bazillionth time I've played it, and I started with the walk up to G, go to C... brain fart. The C just didn't sound right. So I stopped, did it again. Still didn't sound right. Singer comes over, "come on, man, that's right". Looked around, awkward silence. OK, third time and was OK from there. Just kind of grinned and shook my head. But, the singer was cool about it, he just pointed at me and told the crowd, "that's probably the only time this guy will screw up all year."

Weird - Singer turns on the fog machine, I am out front jamming away and all the sudden my amp cuts out. Turn around and the mute is engaged. Walk back to the amp footswitch, un-mute, go back out, playing along, next time the fog machine turns on, the mute engages again. My amp and the fog machine were sharing a power strip and apparently there was some sort of weird interaction going on there. (My amp is an SWR WorkingPro 400... I would be interested in hearing from anyone else this has happened to.)
 
#15
Good stories all.

How about this.

I was 16 and went to a coffee shop/hipster hangout with a buddy of mine for an open mic Jazz gig. I am of course dressed in what is cool at 16, torn live drap pants, dropkick murphy's shirt, steel toes, the obligatory leather jacket that resembled a marque outside of a crappy nightclub, you know the works. Upon showing up I find out the guy I came with and I were not even going to play together so I get charts from a drummer for his little ensemble to learn in about 5 minutes. I open my case to reveal my squier jazz coated with stickers (**** on about all of them) and I don't fail to notice the horrified looks on the faces of the latte sipping music majors in the room. One of them "politely" lets me borrow his Zon. On the verge of tears over my good fortune I go out and play the number. IT SOUNDED HORRID! All through the song the guitarist keeps nudging my volume down incrementally. I am mortified of course. It's only after the song is over that I slap the cable in the tuner and see that my lowest string is like H# or something. Don't bother checking the rest, I just set it on the stand and b-line for the door. Still convinced the guy just whacked all four tuners around and handed me his bass.

Needless to say I never returned to that particular venue.
 
#16
The best I can give you is an almost.

Playing an outdoor show in front of around 6,000 (or so) people, I walked out onto a three foot ledge in front of the mains. The sound pressure was so high, it threw my balance off and I nearly fell into the "pit", in front of the stage. I never did it again. "Knock on wood." I have never had a major mishap.
 
#18
Craig_S said:
The best I can give you is an almost.

Playing an outdoor show in front of around 6,000 (or so) people, I walked out onto a three foot ledge in front of the mains. The sound pressure was so high, it threw my balance off and I nearly fell into the "pit", in front of the stage. I never did it again. "Knock on wood." I have never had a major mishap.
Click to expand...

Same kinda thing here......we were packing up after a gig at a very old theatre in London UK, lifted the amp head off the speaker cab and went to set it down at the edge of the stage....missed the edge and it actually pulled me over. I crashed into the orchestra pit and into the house bands covered drum set. Buggered my shoulder badly but got a round of applause from folk who were still leaving
 
#19
Recently my band played a gig and one of the songs the guitard decided to throw on the setlist at the last minute? Whiter Shade Of Pale. Talk about brain fart. Every whole step I should have hit was a half step and every half was a whole. The guitarist and the whole band kind of started to play along with it, except for the keyboard player! He nailed it while me and the guitarist continued with the trainwreck, laughing our butts off.
I almost wet myself. Afterword, I aptly re-named the tune: A Whiter Shade Of Fail.
 
#20
Mine's only a small mishap, but spelled the end of my favourite gigging bass.

Back on Halloween last year, my band was playing an upstairs function room of a pub. We'd all got dressed up, there was a good crowd and it was turning out to be one of our best gigs.

Right at the end of the last song, in the 'heat of the moment', I lift up my bass for the big finish, and smack it headstock first into a revolving mirror dome on the lower-than-I-thought-it-was ceiling. Dome came tumbling down and smashed on the stage, which I thought was visually cool, but it wasn't until I was wondering why the last note of the song sounded odd that I noticed that the head on the bass was cracked and it had detuned itself.

Was still a good gig, and handily it wasn't an expensive bass and has since been replaced. But has taught me to be rather more careful in future!
 

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