Dumbest Rhyme Guilty Pleasure

[NoBueno]

Three gems from one song

Deja voodoo - beers

I'm a great lyricist
I can write words like this.

I like songs that always rhyme
That's why I made this one rhyme

Words this good don't write themself
That's why I wrote them myself

 

[two fingers]

A friend of mine is a Nashville guitarist. He's always going on and on about how amazing the songwriters are out there, and how well-written country songs are compared to other genres. In some cases, he's correct. There are some great story tellers out there who can paint pictures with words and music.

However, there are some awful rhymes as well.


I always pull out George Straight's "Rolling ona River of Love". It is CHOC FULL of the worst, most trite, most predictable rhymes ever in the history of music. Neber mind that the whole song is two chords.

My favorite horrible line in the whole song is....

"I got a paddle. I got a boat.
Come on, baby. I know she'll float."


Then there's Luke Bryan's "Fill Your Cup Up". Oy. Most of this song hurts my head. But here's the best gem of them all...

"Kick the dust up
Back it on up
Fill your cup up
Let's tear it up, up
And kick the dust up."

Terrible.... "cup up" and "up up"????

That's just the worst.

Man, this not being able to edit is getting annoying.

I gotta leave up misspelled words I typed just last night.

 

[dadglasser]

Louis (pronounced "Lewie") Jordan has a plethora
though he probably didn't make much ethora

All from Beware:

If she's used to caviar and fine silk
And when she goes out with you
She wants a hot dog and a malted milk

She's been used to going to Carnegie Hall
And when you take her out night clubbing
She wants to hear "One meatball"
...
If her sister calls you "Brother"
You better get further
...
And if she's kinda wild
And she says "Darling, please give me a trial"​

and just so there's no hint of discrimination in this post, Look Out:

If he drives you to the beach
and he starts to reach,
...
If he says you look fetchin'
and wants to go show you his etchin's,
...
And look here, if he buys you crocks of champagne,
take a train and go to Maine,
...
If he says "Darlin' you look just like my mother",
go home and get your big brother

 

[DirtDog]

A friend of mine is a Nashville guitarist. He's always going on and on about how amazing the songwriters are out there, and how well-written country songs are compared to other genres. In some cases, he's correct. There are some great story tellers out there who can paint pictures with words and music.

However, there are some awful rhymes as well.


I always pull out George Straight's "Rolling ona River of Love". It is CHOC FULL of the worst, most trite, most predictable rhymes ever in the history of music. Neber mind that the whole song is two chords.

My favorite horrible line in the whole song is....

"I got a paddle. I got a boat.
Come on, baby. I know she'll float."


Then there's Luke Bryan's "Fill Your Cup Up". Oy. Most of this song hurts my head. But here's the best gem of them all...

"Kick the dust up
Back it on up
Fill your cup up
Let's tear it up, up
And kick the dust up."

Terrible.... "cup up" and "up up"????

That's just the worst.

what? Luke Bryant (or his songwriter) missed the most obvious rhyme in bro country today: pickup!

 

[two fingers]

what? Luke Bryant (or his songwriter) missed the most obvious rhyme in bro country today: pickup!

Not to derail, but....

I can't tell you how many country songs have some sort of line about keeping beer or moonshine or wine "under the seat of my pickup truck".

Now, I grew up redneck. I still have redneck tendencies. I have logged hundreds of thousands of miles in pickup trucks. I have never, EVER, considered storing beer under the seat of a pickup. That's just about the worst place I can think of to store beer for a whole host of reasons. I have also been to plenty of redneck parties, and I have yet to see a girl dancing "up on the tailgate of that pickup truck" either. Can you imagine a drunk girl in heels dancing on that uneven surface?

(The third line in the trifecta of bro country cliché's is something about "Daisy Dukes". That one is pretty accurate.)

I love a good pickup truck. I drive one to this day. But even with their long list of uses, dancefloor and beer storage aren't there.

Rifle prop? Tree removal? Dirt hauler? Bass boat tow machine? Daughter's boyfriend chaser? Yep.

Dancing and beer storage are dumb.

 

[eriky4003]

The Nuge 'Wango Tango' - get a little talcum, I'm going to borrow it from Malcolm.

 

[Volker Kirstein]

The Nuge 'Wango Tango' - get a little talcum, I'm going to borrow it from Malcolm.

All of Wang Dang Sweet Poontang is cringeworthy...

 

[Rabidhamster]

Not to derail, but....

I can't tell you how many country songs have some sort of line about keeping beer or moonshine or wine "under the seat of my pickup truck".

Now, I grew up redneck. I still have redneck tendencies. I have logged hundreds of thousands of miles in pickup trucks. I have never, EVER, considered storing beer under the seat of a pickup. That's just about the worst place I can think of to store beer for a whole host of reasons. I have also been to plenty of redneck parties, and I have yet to see a girl dancing "up on the tailgate of that pickup truck" either. Can you imagine a drunk girl in heels dancing on that uneven surface?

(The third line in the trifecta of bro country cliché's is something about "Daisy Dukes". That one is pretty accurate.)

I love a good pickup truck. I drive one to this day. But even with their long list of uses, dancefloor and beer storage aren't there.

Rifle prop? Tree removal? Dirt hauler? Bass boat tow machine? Daughter's boyfriend chaser? Yep.

Dancing and beer storage are dumb.

I’ve seen multiple instances of beer storage under the seat and of people dancing on tailgates. Heck I’ve even seen people dance on tailgates while the truck was driving, just because, over uneven ground.

The redneck is only part of the recipe, the main ingredients are stupidity and alcoholism.

 

[DirtDog]

Not to derail, but....

I can't tell you how many country songs have some sort of line about keeping beer or moonshine or wine "under the seat of my pickup truck".

Now, I grew up redneck. I still have redneck tendencies. I have logged hundreds of thousands of miles in pickup trucks. I have never, EVER, considered storing beer under the seat of a pickup. That's just about the worst place I can think of to store beer for a whole host of reasons. I have also been to plenty of redneck parties, and I have yet to see a girl dancing "up on the tailgate of that pickup truck" either. Can you imagine a drunk girl in heels dancing on that uneven surface?

(The third line in the trifecta of bro country cliché's is something about "Daisy Dukes". That one is pretty accurate.)

I love a good pickup truck. I drive one to this day. But even with their long list of uses, dancefloor and beer storage aren't there.

Rifle prop? Tree removal? Dirt hauler? Bass boat tow machine? Daughter's boyfriend chaser? Yep.

Dancing and beer storage are dumb.

LO! I hear ya.

I'm a country boy too. Owned my share of pickups. The stories I can tell. All I can say, for better or worse (usually for worse), attitudes were different when I was coming of age. When I hear those songs, as cliched and stereotyped as they are, I am transported instantly back to 1982. Only difference is we had "sticky black Champlain Sea clay" instead of the "sweet red Georgia clay"! Even our Valley accents were as thick as a Georgia peanut farmer's, just different. The party scenes in "Dazed and Confused" is familiar territory.

 

[Rib 13]

A friend of mine is a Nashville guitarist. He's always going on and on about how amazing the songwriters are out there, and how well-written country songs are compared to other genres.

The best ones come up with very memorable metaphors....Ive noticed that metaphor use in country more than any other genre

 

[groovaholic]

For all of Freddie Mercury’s vocal prowess, even as a kid, this couplet struck me as lame:
“Left alone with big fat Fanny
She was such a naughty nanny”

 

[Lagado]

"We just sit in this hazy bubble with our quarters
Discussing how beautiful Gail Porter is..."

 

[Lagado]

"Keep your mouth shut, you're squawking like a pink monkey bird
And I'm busting up my brains for the words..."

 

[Lagado]

"Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof..."

What does that feel like then?

 

[KeepItMoving]

This is going back a ways, but I've always felt like Neil Diamond deserved some sort of award for this...odd little couplet in "Play Me:"

Song she sang to me
Song she brang to me

 

[mdlewis]

Louis Jordan has a lot of great rhymes. But my all time favorite is a local band, The Nervous Eaters and their hit from 1976, Loretta.

When I talk to Loretta,
Cool slacks and sweater.

In our neck of the woods (Boston), that's a perfect rhyme.

 

[BargeOn]

Only the Brits can rhyme Been and Between

I've be here and I've been there and
I've bEEn in betwEEn

- King Crimson, "I Talk to the Wind"

 

[jmlee]

This brings to mind a story. When my daughter was quite young, maybe 7, I went to poetry night at her school. That year, each member of her class memorized a short poem or fragment that they would recite for a largish audience of family members. I can’t forget one youngster who, decked out in a bow tie, stepped to the front of the stage and began, “There once was a man from Nantucket...” I almost did a comedy show spit out. I can’t remember what he rhymed with it, but it wasn’t what I was expecting.

 

[wraub]

Dr. Dre-

"Get my drink on, get my smoke on
then go home with something to poke on"

Guilty is right.

 

[wraub]

Also, in the new Weezer song, they rhyme "save the world" with "criminals".