1. Please take 30 seconds to register your free account to remove most ads, post topics, make friends, earn reward points at our store, and more!  

Dumbest Rhyme Guilty Pleasure

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by Killing Floor, Oct 5, 2020.

  1. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    Pandemics! Am I right? Not really digging this anymore so here's a fun distraction.

    What is the absolute dumbest, funniest, worst, weirdest couple of words you strung together in rhyme? Feel free to quote a song or go all in and rat yourself out!
    In my highly objective opinion (get it? objective opinion? grammar burn) the cardinal sin is Maybe and Baby.

    The dumbest pair I ever rhymed is Naive and Sleeve.

    So bring it and sling it, whacha' got?
    Outshined91 and Volker Kirstein like this.
  2. 4 Strings Good

    4 Strings Good Supporting Member

    Mar 6, 2014
    Reportedly, producer Todd Rundgren made fun of Andy Partridge for rhyming "umbilical" with "cycle" in the song 'Season Cycle' from XTC's classic album Skylarking. But the lyric was kept.

  3. Volker Kirstein

    Volker Kirstein Blippy the Wonder Slug Supporting Member

    From various things I've written....

    fortunate / coordinates
    coincide / [what a] ride
    bund / Mund / rum
    Tasche / Asche
    corazon / terragon
    tout suite / romantique
    George Dennis likes this.
  4. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    OK, I'm really liking corazón / terragon , is that the herb/plant or the city? That's great.
    Outshined91 likes this.
  5. Volker Kirstein

    Volker Kirstein Blippy the Wonder Slug Supporting Member

    o_O The herb.
    Killing Floor likes this.
  6. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    I really like XTC, had always liked them. I also really like and respect Rundgren. That must have been an interesting dynamic, I could imagine some head butting. I could see some differences of opinion with some string personalities. And I applaud that crazy rhyme.
    4 Strings Good and Spupilup like this.
  7. Most of “Blinded by the Light?” The Springsteen version, of course. I’ve always said my favorite thing about that song is all the goofy rhymes.

    tonym likes this.
  8. dadglasser


    Oct 11, 2009
    Wow, no particular rhyme for me, but this is somewhat related. From one of my favorite books, The Disappearing Dwarf:

    The Disappearing Dwarf (Balumnia, #2) by James P. Blaylock

    I had just sent this off in an e-mail to a friend a couple of days ago. I was going to try to explain who are the characters and what led up to this emotion packed moment, but it would take too long. I will let you know that everyone except Quimby are from the "normal" world and had to travel through an interdimensional portal to arrive where they are now, the magical land of Balumnia. Quimby is a resident of Balumnia:

    “So what inspired you to set in writing poetry again?” Jonathan asked.

    “Oh,” Gump replied, “we never gave it up. We can’t. It’s in our blood.”

    “Like an infection,” Bufo said.

    Gump agreed with him. “That’s right. And some things set it off: changes of seasons, for instance, or weather. Poetry is the sort of thing that just comes sailing in.”

    “Kind of like a bat that gets tangled up in your hair,” Bufo put in.

    “Or a “possum,” Gump observed, scratching his head, “that sneaks in at night and ravages your shoes.”

    Bufo nodded. “That’s it exactly. As you can see, metaphors like that fly out like popping corn. A poet can’t help himself. He’s a slave to it.”

    Jonathan said he understood. Quimby declared he knew a fellow once who was a poet: he wrote inspirational pieces for the local newspaper. Very heartfelt. Bufo didn’t look as if he cared much for inspirational pieces.

    “What sort of inspirational pieces?” asked Gump, who, like Bufo, had a natural distrust of all other poets. “Do you recall any?”

    Quimby thought it over. “Something about pressing on in hard times. You know, the stiff lip and straight back sort of thing. Bearing up. Doing one’s duty. Very stirring, really. Touched home.”

    “I should say,” said Bufo. “Sounds like a laugh a minute. But that’s not what we write. Not by a long nose. Not that there’s anything wrong with it, mind you; this poet of yours was likely quite a gem, in his way. I’ll look for his book when I get back home.” He winked at Gump to alert him to how clever this final comment had been.

    “So anyway, you’ve run up some good ones, eh?” Jonathan asked.

    “Some smashers.”

    Bufo agreed. “It was the explosions that did it. We were sure you and the Professor and Miles were – well, you know … That you hadn't made it. Moroseness is what it was that got things going.”

    “Morosity,” Gump said.

    “Pardon me?”

    “Morosity, I believe it is,” Gump repeated. “Not moroseness.”

    “You’re thinking of porosity,” Bufo said. “Like your head.”

    Gump gave him a look. But by then he was charged up with his poetry, so he let the matter drop. Quimby said that Bufo was probably correct anyway, and that his poet friend had spelled it “morosion” once, which seemed quite suitable under the circumstances since it rhymed, to a degree, with “erosion”, which was what was happening to this fellow’s soul in the poem. Gump and Bufo looked for a moment as if it were happening to their souls too, but then Gump pulled out his sheaf of papers and cleared his throat.

    “Poor Squire Lost,” he read in a voice of woe, and he set in on a long poem about the Squire’s tragic wanderings in faraway Balumnia. The whole thing took about half an hour and seemed to confuse poor Quimby no end – he, of course, having no idea that Balumnia was a faraway magical land. He seemed to think, however, that poems were by their very nature obscure, and that it was the inexplicable bits that were the best parts. Jonathan sometimes felt the same way himself. The poem ended up something like this:

    And so the Squire trudges past,
    In his coat of golden thread
    Weaved by Quimby who also knit
    The massive cap upon his head.

    The towns give way to forests.
    Goblins creep through bogs of peat,
    And headless men in rowboats
    Sail atop the Tweet.

    He wanders weeping far and wide;
    His rotund form is shrunk away,
    And with him travels Hope and Home,
    Eastward toward the dawning day!

    Gump finished and sat very still. It had been a sad poem, even for Quimby – who, by the end of it, had tears in his eyes. He’d never, he insisted, been a part of a poem before. The poems that his friend wrote weren’t the sort that had anyone doing anything – knitting hats or creeping through peat bogs or shrinking away or any of that sort of business. This was, he said, awfully powerful stuff.
    Nashrakh and Killing Floor like this.
  9. Oops, a band of mine ran the draft title of Maybe, Baby. It became Splendid Isolation (which itself sounds like a David Brent song) but kept the "maybe, baby" in the chorus.

    I have, from the go and to this day, giggled at Depeche Mode's
    Words are very

    but full length terrible rhyming that springs to mind is Steve Miller Band's Abracadabra - not just for I wanna reach out and grab ya - the very first time I heard it on the radio in 1982 I was predicting the predictable rhyming couplets (except for Black panties with an angel's face - that one caught me by surprise)

    Around the same time, some bloke called Adrian Gurvitz released a song called Classic with the chorus
    Got to write a classic
    Got to write it in an attic
    Baby, I'm an addict - now

    that my older brother used to wail over
    Yeah I got a ca-at
    It sat on the ma-at
    That's where it sha-at - now

    which would have ruined it for me, if it wasn't a rubbish song already
  10. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    I thought I would earn extra points for being American and knowing my Catalan geography.
    It's cool.
    Volker Kirstein and 1bassleft like this.
  11. Seashore


    Jun 2, 2019
    Huh. I never made a point of rhyming much, but I just looked back at my lyrics and there are predictable self-important rhymes all over the place. And nothing even funny enough to be worth posting. This is great.
    1bassleft likes this.
  12. biguglyman


    Jul 27, 2017
    Rochester, NY
    "...you can take your pound of innocent flesh, in barrels of Iraqi oil.
    Then blame it all on terror threats, against American soil."

    from the song: "Richard Chaney, Sticky Dick" by The Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Guinea Pigs.
  13. two fingers

    two fingers Opinionated blowhard. But not mad about it. Gold Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2005
    Eastern NC USA
    A friend of mine is a Nashville guitarist. He's always going on and on about how amazing the songwriters are out there, and how well-written country songs are compared to other genres. In some cases, he's correct. There are some great story tellers out there who can paint pictures with words and music.

    However, there are some awful rhymes as well.

    I always pull out George Straight's "Rolling ona River of Love". It is CHOC FULL of the worst, most trite, most predictable rhymes ever in the history of music. Neber mind that the whole song is two chords.

    My favorite horrible line in the whole song is....

    "I got a paddle. I got a boat.
    Come on, baby. I know she'll float."

    Then there's Luke Bryan's "Fill Your Cup Up". Oy. Most of this song hurts my head. But here's the best gem of them all...

    "Kick the dust up
    Back it on up
    Fill your cup up
    Let's tear it up, up
    And kick the dust up."

    Terrible.... "cup up" and "up up"????

    That's just the worst.
  14. Killing Floor

    Killing Floor Supporting Member

    Feb 7, 2020
    Austin, TX
    Your baby is a big fat tractor, one of a fleet,
    your baby is a big fat tractor, the color of Cream of Wheat.
  15. Iristone


    Jul 8, 2017
    Just give me give me give me give me give me give me give me fried chicken ;)
  16. dadglasser


    Oct 11, 2009
    The Kingston Trio, also Blossom Dearie, The Ballad of the Shape of Things:

    Completely round is the perfect pearl the oyster manufactures.
    Completely round is the steering wheel that leads to compound fractures.

  17. Michedelic

    Michedelic MId-Century Modern

    No, no, no, the absolutely worst Steve Miller rhyme was from “Take The Money And Run”...

    “They headed down to, ooh, old El Paso
    That's where they ran into a great big hassle
    Billy Joe shot a man while robbing his castle
    Bobbie Sue took the money and run”

    Then it gets topped off with...

    “Hoo-hoo-hoo, billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
    You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
    He ain't gonna let those two escape justice
    He makes his livin' off of the people's taxes”

    Adrian Gurvitz was a pretty interesting cat; he and his brother Paul had a succession of hard rock bands in the late 60’s/early 70’s; this tune, while no great shakes in the lyric department, was something of a hit, covered a bit as well...

    Adrian Gurvitz - Wikipedia

    There’s all sorts of bad rhymes out there, but you have to admire the honesty of someone who has hit a brick wall, and owns it(either that, or the total DGAF attitude)...
    “Well we got no class
    And we got no principals
    And we got no innocence
    We can't even think of a word that rhymes”
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2020
    Nev375, 1bassleft, dalkowski and 3 others like this.
  18. andruca


    Mar 31, 2004
    Madrid (Spain)
    I noticed that her hair was longer in the back,
    I figured that's cause she's Canadian
    That's why I was surprised when
    she told me she was fully lesbian

    1bassleft likes this.
  19. I think the Sex Pistols take the cake on this one. The opening lines of Anarchy in the U.K. have always made me cringe.
  20. Primary

    Primary TB Assistant

    Here are some related products that TB members are talking about. Clicking on a product will take you to TB’s partner, Primary, where you can find links to TB discussions about these products.

    Jan 24, 2021

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.