I know there have been posts on this before, but I can honestly say I didn't really understand what it was like to be in the "Friends Zone" with girls until now. I thought I should post it in my own words I guess, haha.
Anyway...
This year i've been in so many situations with girls where I don't know what to do. Just last night, I went out with some friends and a girl that I really like a lot but have just been friends with for a couple months. After everybody dispersed she invited me back to her place to watch a movie.
I felt so awkward because I did not know what to do. I kept second guessing myself. Should I sit and watch the movie in silence, joking around a bit here and there? Should I put my arm around her? Kiss her? How?
How have you guys handled these types of situations? Any advice would be good!
first of all, don't listen to advice from Talkbass inhabitants about women.. you'll get loads of beta male 'just be yourself' type answers that frankly, my mother could give
you need to
always flirt with women... because if you try to suddenly change up gears and go from being 'completely non threatening friend' to 'sexual relationship candidate' with no warning, it's so unexpected and surprising, and not usually in a good way...
being mildly flirtatious ALL THE TIME will set you apart from all the other guys who try to 'super-size friendship' (look it up) girls into bed (it doesn't work - ask me how I know)... and it keeps you out of the friend zone
from what you've said, you probably weren't in the friend zone anyway... girls dont invite you back to watch a movie with them unless they're interested.. but you WILL be in the friend zone if you do it twice (you won't get asked a 3rd time)
next time (if there IS a next time), do anything you can escalate physical contact... I don't mean lunge at her with your tongue, I mean get her comfortable with you touching her in a non sexual, non threatening way... I mean stupid things like thumb wrestling, or pretending to read her palm, or make up some premise to measure her hands against yours (tell her she has HUGE hands... great neg) ... playfully push her away etc... anything at all... human beings respond to touch soooo much it's unreal, and being comfortable with your touch does something magical to women
the trouble is that if you suddenly whip out a lot of physical stuff when you were previously a shy guy, it'll seem weird... so you need to be a fun playful touchy feelie guy to begin with
you don't need to do the old cliche 'yawn then put your arm around her', but you do need to be brave and subtly sit closer than you would a guy... if she doesn't move away, you're in
if you find yourselves talking and not watching the movie, it's so obvious she's into you...
touch her hair.. if she doesn't move her head away, you can kiss her.. look from her eyes to her lips and back, then kiss her
even if she went 'eurgh get off me' (she won't), what do you care? your attitude ought to be that you're a great guy, doing her a favour in fact, and it's her loss if she doesn't want to play... plenty others out there who will... that's a bulletproof attitude because a guy who had his choice of women would actually laugh his ass off at being told 'eurgh, get off me!'
