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Ever been told you're no good?
- Thread starter podiumboy
- Start date
Self confidence my friend, there are always going to be people out there who try to bring you down or bust your bubble because they are arrogant, jealous, etc. However you do have to remember and know where you stand as far as experience wise and your abilities. I have never had anyone tell me that I was not good enough or that I sucked (perhaps they just kept that way of saying it to themselves), however have been told by some what things I should work on and what I would call most times constructive criticism. As for those who just naturally "hate" or in your case have a personal vendetta against you then just take it as a grain of salt and just move on. Or better yet hand them a bass and tell them to do it better 
You have to move past what one guy says. Really? Who cares what one guy thinks? Why should you let one A--hole take something from you that you presumably enjoy doing. IF you stop practicing it will be self fulfilling.
I'm fortunately in the opposite situation. I probably do suck but I only started playing 3 years ago when my brother-in-law said "We need you to play bass in our band." I'd only ever played regular guitar before then. I started out just pounding out root notes for them to fill the bottom. But I practiced and studied and learned to play with more complexity and more style. Now the band compliments me on how much I've developed and grown as a bassist. I probably still suck but I'm having a blast doing it.
I'm fortunately in the opposite situation. I probably do suck but I only started playing 3 years ago when my brother-in-law said "We need you to play bass in our band." I'd only ever played regular guitar before then. I started out just pounding out root notes for them to fill the bottom. But I practiced and studied and learned to play with more complexity and more style. Now the band compliments me on how much I've developed and grown as a bassist. I probably still suck but I'm having a blast doing it.
meh he's an arse ...
if someone told me that i'd say ... "Yes, I do" ... i obviously don't think very much of my skills ... it keeps me practicing on the daily!
if someone told me that i'd say ... "Yes, I do" ... i obviously don't think very much of my skills ... it keeps me practicing on the daily!
To answer a "YOU SUCK" statement... "that's exactly what I told your girlfriend, and she obliged" followed by a BEADG open chord to the face. I'm sure he'll appreciate the low B. I've been "poked" with a headstock before... that hurts.
Seriously though, if I'm told that I'm not too good, I'd ask what I needed to do to improve. Especially a bandmate or musician telling me this would get my attention. It would motivate me. I'm already quite critical of myself though
Seriously though, if I'm told that I'm not too good, I'd ask what I needed to do to improve. Especially a bandmate or musician telling me this would get my attention. It would motivate me. I'm already quite critical of myself though
I like it when someone says I'm no good....makes me want to work harder to prove them wrong. Success is the best revenge.
Did you ever notice that it's mostly other musicians who say that crap? I think they're either trying to thin out the competition or they're building themselves up by putting someone else down. Mental problems.
Did you ever notice that it's mostly other musicians who say that crap? I think they're either trying to thin out the competition or they're building themselves up by putting someone else down. Mental problems.
Dude, that's just plain wrong. He has no right to tell you "you're not any good". Who is he to judge? Even if he happens to be the best musician in the world (unlikely), no one has the power to judge talent or potential. That takes too long to develop for anyone to make blanket assumptions and be right. Besides, saying "you're not a good fit" doesn't equal "you're not any good". I'd say that he really meant to say you do not fit with HIM, musically. That doesn't automatically make you a bad musician.
As for your question, no one has told me that... Well, considering that I've only started playing with a band recently, and I've only performed for friends and family, it's no shock. Even if someone dares to say that, I will take it with a grain of salt. "Good" is completely vague and doesn't reflect talent or lack thereof. It might just indicate a lack of practice.
Some people are gonna like what I do on a bass.
Some people are not gonna like what I do on a bass.
Hopefully, more will like than dislike.
At the end of the day I try to please myself and have fun.
Serve the song.
Serve the band.
Believe in what you are doing.
There is only one bass player I want to be better than tomorrow.
Me.
Oh, and remember, you were on the stage playing, he was sitting in the audience getting drunk and obnoxious.
Some people are not gonna like what I do on a bass.
Hopefully, more will like than dislike.
At the end of the day I try to please myself and have fun.
Serve the song.
Serve the band.
Believe in what you are doing.
There is only one bass player I want to be better than tomorrow.
Me.
Oh, and remember, you were on the stage playing, he was sitting in the audience getting drunk and obnoxious.
Yeah, I've been through that.
Here's the thing though. Many people are stupid and most of the smart ones are irrational. They are going to think what they want to think and it's rarely going to have any basis for reality. People are usually liked or disliked and judged good or bad because of something random like their looks, their clothes, their sense of humor, their smile, or whatever mood the person was in when they met you, NOT because of what they would say they are judging you for.
So don't worry about opinions, the truth is not out there. Just keep playing because you get a little better every day and that's all that matters.
Here's the thing though. Many people are stupid and most of the smart ones are irrational. They are going to think what they want to think and it's rarely going to have any basis for reality. People are usually liked or disliked and judged good or bad because of something random like their looks, their clothes, their sense of humor, their smile, or whatever mood the person was in when they met you, NOT because of what they would say they are judging you for.
So don't worry about opinions, the truth is not out there. Just keep playing because you get a little better every day and that's all that matters.
I'll spare you the inspirational B.S. and leave you with this:
You can either quit and always feel this way
or
Keep working and get better.
You can either quit and always feel this way
or
Keep working and get better.
- Jan 21, 2012
- 665
- 2
- Disclosures
- endorsing artist hard luck king guitars and knuckle head strings
That's never fun when someone says that. My thing is if you have fun jamming and are playing music you love why does it matter if someone is super amazing or not. Even if you are the best musician in your area there is always someone better than you, so just play music because you enjoy it.
Thanks for your advice and your stories. It really does help. It really does seem rather silly to focus on what one jerk says. Agree with somebody above who said it's like he has a mental block. I think one time I might have had an off gig or rehearsal, and he was convinced that I sucked hard after that.
A little story involving the same drummer; one time he was telling us about some song (can't remember) that he wanted to cover, and he asked the lead guitarist "do you think you could handle the bass part for `insert song title' "? Basically implying that he didn't think I could handle the bass part. That pissed me off and really came from nowhere, because I had been playing with that guy for years, and he should know what I'm capable of. So I went home and learned the bass line (rather simple one too), and also learned all the guitar parts just so I'd know the song inside and out. So next week I suggest trying the song, and once the drummer realized I could play that song well, he lost interest in the song altogether.
A little story involving the same drummer; one time he was telling us about some song (can't remember) that he wanted to cover, and he asked the lead guitarist "do you think you could handle the bass part for `insert song title' "? Basically implying that he didn't think I could handle the bass part. That pissed me off and really came from nowhere, because I had been playing with that guy for years, and he should know what I'm capable of. So I went home and learned the bass line (rather simple one too), and also learned all the guitar parts just so I'd know the song inside and out. So next week I suggest trying the song, and once the drummer realized I could play that song well, he lost interest in the song altogether.
I have a cellist friend who was told by cellist luminary Ron Leonard that he would never make it as a cellist. These threads being what they are, of course my friend now plays with the L.A. Philharmonic. The funny thing is that Ron Leonard was on the jury that selected him.
George Martin, their producer, first rejected them as being "too raw." He changed his mind and we all know the results.
I've read over this some more. Do yourself a favor and distance yourself from any influence this drummer may have ever had on you. It's obvious it was something personal. He didn't like you and he underestimated you. Just because someone is critical and seems sure of himself, that doesn't mean that what he says has any validity at all.
I can remember once I was about to run a race and one of the other runners (someone I had known for a while,) came up to me and laughed in my face. He was obviously bold and sure of himself. He knew he was good and assumed he was better than I was. But I won the race; he came in second.
Another time in a graduate seminar, we were going to have to read our research papers in front of everyone. Right before I was going to read mine, the guy next to me (for some strange reason) asked if he could glance over my paper. He began making one critical comment after another. Why he was doing this, I really didn't know. Yet I read the paper and although it did have a few flaws, the professor said it was good and I got an A-. However, the student who was critical of me received very harsh criticism from the professor. His paper sucked and mine was pretty good. In the last analysis, his opinion of me didn't mean **** and neither did the opinion of the runner who boasted before the race and then lost to me. Talk is cheap. Also, music really is a competition, yet it's art, too. But comparisons are always going to be made, and from time to time people will try to build themselves up at your expense. That particular drummer is a great example of a jackass. And jackasses are in no danger of going extinct. I think it was Frank Sinatra (of all people) who said that massive success is the best revenge.
Here's a worse situation: I know an amazing guitar player who wants to get on stage, but he's afraid he's afraid that people will think he sucks.
You're in a better situation, even if you heard that once a week.
Re: his post-band relationship with VH, David Lee Roth is credited with saying, "Van Halen can keep providing the rain and I'll keep providing the parade."
Be the parade. Enjoy it!
And I'm certain, you're understating your abilities, so you're doing fine.
You're in a better situation, even if you heard that once a week.
Re: his post-band relationship with VH, David Lee Roth is credited with saying, "Van Halen can keep providing the rain and I'll keep providing the parade."
Be the parade. Enjoy it!
And I'm certain, you're understating your abilities, so you're doing fine.
That guy's pissing me off. If it was me, he goes or I go.
I'd see if I could get some other drummer that was willing to join the band.
Then I'd go to the other band members and let them know that I couldn't play with the drummer as his attitude is a complete downer. I'd tell them I've found a replacement drummer. If they agree to keep me then I'd want to tell the drummer and I'd keep it vague. "It's been nice playing with you but we want to go in another direction, we've found another drummer we're going to work with."
