Ever regretted letting someone sit in?

[Biggbass]

A couple of times it didn't pay off for us.
Once a fiddle player sat in with us for a couple of songs and, although she was a good player, she didn't know when not to play and plowed thru every inch of the songs.

Another time a guitarist sat in for one song and cranked the amp up to 11. It was painful.

But I've found the best way to get someone off stage is to quickly thank them and call out a "Let's hear it for________!!!!!" before the next song starts.

 

[GretschWretch]

We play a couple of tunes in the next set and up she comes. She kind of looks like an out-of-work librarian.

Careful. Don't mess with us librarians. We know toxic words, like floccinaucinihilipilification.

Coming from one who in just over two weeks will be an out-of-work librarian.

 

[coyote1]

I’ve had this a few times. Once was a harmonica player who asked to come up and play a particular song. Fine… until he would not leave the stage. We let him blow for another song, but he would not stop and kept overplaying everyone. After about eight minutes, the singer finally and literally threw the guy off the stage.

Another time was when a (now ex-) friend came over to jam with my band. He and another guy had heard about what we were doing, and they wanted to come over and sit in. I discussed it with my band and they said “sure, fun!” And it was. But the next week, the one guy came back down with his guitar. And then the next week after that, and began talking about how “we should change the direction of the band, and he would be bringing some suggestions to next week’s rehearsal”. So not only did he fail to grasp that it was supposed to have been a one-shot for kicks, but now he was insinuating himself into the band AND changing what we were playing!! I said “sorry but we’re doing what we’re doing”…. Yet the next week there he was at the door. I had already discussed this with the band during the week. When he showed up I pulled him aside and said “the band does not want this, sorry but you’re not a band member”. He did not talk to me for a couple years after that. And then at a party where I encountered him, I tried to mend fences by inviting him to a (non musical) get together. He sneered at me “what for?”…. and I found in that moment that I was trying to mend fences for the sake of mending fences, and that I really could not answer the question.

That’s long ago now. Interestingly he has since tried to rekindle the friendship many times, but I still find I cannot answer that question where he’s concerned. So in those rare moments where we encounter each other I’m polite and cordial, but I am in no way interested in trying to (re)build anything there.

 

[GretschWretch]

Our band once allowed an audience member to come onstage and sing "Me And Bobby Mcgee".
Trouble was, she didn't know the song, we didn't know the song, we didn't know if she could sing or not and after several stumbling failures to negotiate verses, choruses, etc. we had to give it up.
One of the band members was kind of mortified afterwards and all I could say was we had it coming and that we shouldn't get into those situations.

You were playing free jazz.

 

[azureblue]

I was a fill in for a few gigs for a band - at the time I was playing a six string bass with flat wounds. One gig, the vocalist (during the set) says his friend is going to sit in on "Shaky Ground" (doesn't even ask me if it's OK) , and "he's gonna kill it!" Friend climbs on stage and tells me "I'll show you how it's done", I hand him the bass and leave the stage. Guy totally fumbled it - the wide neck, 6 six strings and flats with a semi high action meant he couldn't play the bass. Song ends, and the guy hands me my bass all pissed off, and stomps off while the singer is looking all embarrassed. I started "Shaky Ground" and played it sort of Marcus Miller style. Sweet revenge, without saying a word.

 

[juancaminos]

I used to let anyone who wants to play my bass come on up. That stopped a few years ago when a guy asked to come up and play something simple like Johnny B Goode. He turned out to be so drunk or incompetent or both that it was the worse train wreck ever. He kept changing the key then just hung on the one and sang the same line over and over. That was it never again...

 

[Rip Van Dan]

Haven’t seen a similar post on TB.
I’m sure you’ve all had at least one instance of “OMG, this was a bad idea”.

Mine was back in the late 80s. The BL had a friend who asked him to ask me. That should have clued me in to his character. Normally, I get asked directly by the player. This guy had a ‘tude already. But I like the BL, so against my better judgment, I agreed.

He lasted one song. In less than 5 minutes, he was sloppy all over the song and knocked over cymbal stand in which one on legs kicked up and pierced the bottom speaker of my 2x12. Thankfully the BL pulled him off stage before I did. Also no damage to my bass. We find out later he on a Qualudde or something like that along with drinking.

The BL pulls him aside and presses him to make good on the damage. At that point, he and I had to hit the restroom right then. We came out to find the dude gone, but he had shoved a $20 bill in hole of the speaker before he bailed. The BL is now pissed too.

The next day he picks me up and we both go over to the jerk’s house. Mommy answers the door. She has this sad look on her face that made me feel bad. This wasn’t the first time she’s had “visitors” call on her son. Thankfully, the BL knows the mom and explains why we need to see him. She then insists on covering for the son. It was only 60 more bucks more to pay for a reconing, but still. It was awkward for me.

To this day, I occasionally see the guy at gigs and concerts and he looks away quickly. What a schmuck!

Thank God, I never had anything like that happen. I did have a guy ask to use my bass at a jam session back in 1997 and as you probably know, I don't lend my bass out. I had a bad experience once with my '65 Jazz when the BL asked me to let this guy play it for two songs with his group. Never have loaned it out since. The only person I've let use my "White Lady" was my son who takes excellent care of his instruments.

Anyhow after I said no, he just used the bass that was provided for folks to use as needed. He had no clue how to play bass. All he did was slide his hands up and down different strings making a "whoom, whoom" sound - sort of like something you'd purposely do on a fretless for emphasis only he had no concept of notes or playing in a particular key. He just did those incessant slides through an entire 3-chord blues jam. Was weird. His buddy, who insisted this guy play bass with him, was a decent guitarist but this guy didn't have a clue.

 

[Rabidhamster]

Sitting in is for Jazz bands.

 

[Hahaha]

This may be hard to believe, but it's completely true. Back in the mid-seventies I was playing at the Holiday Inn in Eugene Oregon. A man wanted to sit in and sing Please Release Me. He told us he had been on The Gong Show and had done quite well. He was preparing to go to Las Vegas and be a lounge singer so we agreed to let him sit in on one song. He seemed fairly professional as he got on stage and told us he sang the song in G. We kicked the song off in G and he proceeded to sing in a completely different key. He had all the mannerisms of a cornball lounge singer as he wailed away in the wrong key. The song ended and he thanked us and left the stage.

About a year later I was at home watching The Benny Hill Show and was shocked when Benny did a skit of a lounge singer singing Please Release Me in the wrong key. He had all the same mannerisms and cornball moves that the guy who sat in with us had. I have to assume that this guy had actually been on The Gong Show and Benny Hill saw it and adopted his routine for a comedy skit. His skit was identical to what we experienced with the Gong Show guy in Eugene Oregon.

 

[azureblue]

Now a hard driving blues band I play with had a great moment of regret. The band and the venue we were playing attracts a biker clientele, great folks to have as fans. Someone had decided to have their wedding reception at the venue while we played. Place is packed. During break this knock-dead gorgeous, seemingly soft-spoken female from the groom's side of the family comes up to each of us working her charm to get on a mic to "say a few words." She is directed to the band leader who says, "okay." Oh, man! Those "few words" were choice. C-word, whore and more directed at the bride. A family member should probably have warned us about Cybil. Then later, a fight broke out in the parking lot over the bouquet toss.

Back in my days of playing weddings --- The too drunk groom who said goodby to all his bachelor friends 'cause now he's married, the Father of the Bride who wanted to crow about how much he spent, the bride who couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, and my fave - the drunk bridesmaid who got up and told everybody how great a lay the groom was. "He effed me until I could barely walk but I had a two day smile on my face", was the way she put it. The look on the bride's face ------

 

[lfmn16]

The look on the bride's face ------

NOT a two day smile??

 

[selowitch]

I would never allow anyone to sit in.

The only exception is for someone famous and awesome (e.g., Bob Dylan, Mark Knopfler, Joan Osborne, or somebody like that) which is extremely unlikely.

Anyway, if somebody non-famous asks to sit in with my band, the answer is always “Sorry, our management contract prohibits it.”

We are happy to have someone substitute if a band member is sick, but that’s different than sitting in. A sub is someone who sits in but has rehearsed with us previously.

 

[jmlee]

We play a couple of tunes in the next set and up she comes. She kind of looks like an out-of-work librarian.
Careful. Don't mess with us librarians. We know toxic words, like floccinaucinihilipilification.
Coming from one who in just over two weeks will be an out-of-work librarian.

Ha! My best friend is an out-of-work (retired) librarian/drummer. Mea culpa, sir!

 

[GretschWretch]

Ha! My best friend is an out-of-work (retired) librarian/drummer. Mea culpa, sir!

My out-of-workness will be as a retiree as well.

 

[Koshchei]

I've been the regret before. I have literally no blues or rock influences in my playing as a guitarist (the closest I get is Ritchie Blackmore), and was pressured to sit in with a friend's rock band, where every song followed a I-IV-V progression and was in the same key. Holy hell was I lost - I had to try to figure out where the solos were based on what I thought the lyrics were about. I learned that night that friendship is about staying in your lane

Of course, when learning bass, the first thing I got down was blues after that experience

 

[selowitch]

The question is more correctly phrased, “Have you ever not regretted letting someone sit in?”

 

[Winslow]

The question is more correctly phrased, “Have you ever not regretted letting someone sit in?”

 

[jdh3000]

I had a friend sit in once who was too drunk to play, I didn't realize how bad off he was until I heard him goofing up and forgetting the song... right in the middle of the "tune" he took my axe off and leaned in up on my amp and walked off the stage. Running as fast as I could see it falling, I didn't make it... No serious damage except for my heart pounding and a few certan muscles tightened nearly beyond their limits...

I said I wouldn't let it ever happen again, but over the years I've let it go a bit, but I still will not let just anyone sit in on my gear, only people I know well and am certain they don't get to the point in their drinking to let some stupidity like that happen.

In the last band the BL would invite whomever to sit in, but I knew mist everyone he knew, and even if something did get damaged he would've paid for it himself, just the way he was.

 

[McG]

I've regretted letting a harp player sit in at a gig. Hey, nobody's ever had a bad harp player jump on stage, right? Did it twice. Did I learn after the first time?

On the opposite side of things we let a drummer we didn't know come out of the audience for a song. He was great and became our full time drummer.

 

[MynameisMe]

Other issues are sweaty hands clogging up my strings, clumsy people tripping over my gear in the floor, or watching the guy whip out a pick and start wailing away on my bass.

I don't play in bars but I am not handing my bass off to anybody that I do not approve of first.
Also my number 1 P bass has suffered pick marks from a previous owner who wailed on it quite a bit. No way!
Must have been leant to a gui****st or something. Looks like Pete Townsend went for a round on it.
Also, go wash your hands dude! Gross!