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Ever regretted letting someone sit in?

Haven't seen a similar post on TB.
I'm sure you've all had at least one instance of "OMG, this was a bad idea".

Mine was back in the late 80s. The BL had a friend who asked him to ask me. That should have clued me in to his character. Normally, I get asked directly by the player. This guy had a 'tude already. But I like the BL, so against my better judgment, I agreed.

He lasted one song. In less than 5 minutes, he was sloppy all over the song and knocked over cymbal stand in which one on legs kicked up and pierced the bottom speaker of my 2x12. Thankfully the BL pulled him off stage before I did. Also no damage to my bass. We find out later he on a Qualudde or something like that along with drinking.

The BL pulls him aside and presses him to make good on the damage. At that point, he and I had to hit the restroom right then. We came out to find the dude gone, but he had shoved a $20 bill in hole of the speaker before he bailed. The BL is now pissed too.

The next day he picks me up and we both go over to the jerk's house. Mommy answers the door. She has this sad look on her face that made me feel bad. This wasn't the first time she's had "visitors" call on her son. Thankfully, the BL knows the mom and explains why we need to see him. She then insists on covering for the son. It was only 60 more bucks more to pay for a reconing, but still. It was awkward for me.

To this day, I occasionally see the guy at gigs and concerts and he looks away quickly. What a schmuck!

Unless they are a seasoned pro, the answer is no way. Even with that it's rarely a good customer experience. Most of the time I'll say that we have a cramped show and really would enjoy it for them to sit in at our next rehearsal.

I will take the advice form other band mates that ones I don't know qualifies because their money if something gets messed up. I'm not chasing their guest for restitution.
 
I'm zero for two! First was a drunken bass player, who was very persistent. I eventually relented and let him play one song. Nothing damaged but he was awful and then was pissy afterwards, like it was my fault that he sucked - what's with that? Second was a harmonica player, who was actually OK and a nice guy, but had the "play over everything" problem, which is common in these situations. Never again.

On a slight tangent, we did have a fill in drummer a couple of times who was actually really good, and fun to play with. Only problem was he had zero concept of what 7/8 was, and since the first song was Times Like These (Foo Fighters), this was a surprise - actually, we made it, and 7/8 over 4/4 is exactly the kind of thing we do (intentionally) in my other band :-)
 
I was in a band that let people from the crowd come sit in/sing all the time. Although other factors ultimately led to my resignation from the band, the fact that this group liked to do this A LOT really accelerated my decision.
The worst was this "drummer" who would sit in on a tune, suck, and then a few gigs later ask the bandleader to sit in again, and they would let him. I spoke up about how horrible the drummer was and we shouldn't do that anymore, and was told that it was important t let him do that so we connected with the audience more.

BS.

Now, if this ever happens with any current bands I play with, we make sure the person is somewhat reputable before sitting in. Plus, we hardly ever let someone do this.
 
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One more- one of my current bands played at this place where this dude with a shiny red trumpet would walk around the bar playing along. We did not expect him, did not invite, and definitely did not want him to do that. Turns out he does this with every band who plays there.
I switch to trumpet for "Ring of Fire" while one guitarist plays my bass. This d'bag comes up, tries to play harmony, wrong notes and all, and keeps bitching at me during the song that I am flat. I'm like, "Dude! I am actually in the band! Get lost!"
Anyway, the next time we play there, he was eventually walking around playing his red trumpet. During break, before we got to Ring, I told the band I will not play that song if he is here. And if we play it and he tries to come up, I will punch him in the mouth.
He left before we played it, and Ring of Fire sounded great!
See, it's one thing when people invite them to come up and play, but another when someone just butts in and SUCKS.
 
Reverse happened to me. I said no, and caught flak.

A relatively new Guitar player for one of my bands invited a bassist friend to a gig. I didn't bring a back up bass, it was the first gig with a Mint EMBB HH stingray. I overheard the guitarist introducing his friend to the rest of the band and they were talking about what songs he knew. Mind you... I wasn't in on the conversation. I went to "take a break" and after I got out of the men's room he came up to me and said. "so what songs you gonna let this old drunk play in the next set". I was pretty irritated as he was sloppy drunk and apparently the band was all in for him to play.

My response. It's not happening. He walked away offended and told the rest of the band he couldn't believe I said no.

After words I talked with the band. The guitarist (best friend) had a hard time believing that I was so selfish, the rest of the band didn't really see the problem but could deal with it.

Then I asked, "so if next week one of my friends shows up and I want them to play your gear which of you will be ok with it". All of them were basically saying that there's no way they'd be ok, and yet the "best friend" still didn't see a problem with my sharing my gear with a drunk. After all... he knew the guy.

I spent the rest of the night 5 minutes away from walking and went to bed ticked off.

What would have worked... The guitarist knew well in advance that he was coming to the gig, had he given a call, I would have brought a beater bass and let him use it, (earlier, before he wasn't trashed) I have on occasion let players sit in using my main gear, when I knew in advance, but usually it's a no win situation. They usually don't know the tunes as well, or maybe one day it'll be the case where someone actually shows up and shows me up. The only benefit to me is I can take a long break and see how my FOH is sounding.
 
If anybody ever asks if they can play my bass and sit in, they quickly change their mind:
View attachment 4333978
Not sure if that's a lefty but being left handed has also gotten me out of many "hey can I try your bass" episodes. Then you have the dummies who will try anyway but left handed. You've played your whole life righty but now that it's a lefty bass you think you can just play lefty instead of upside down!
 
I was playing a late night restaurant/bar gig with a funk band in around 2006. The Delfonics had a private gig in Denver that night and they showed up at our gig afterward.

You'd think that would be cool - legendary R&B group at our gig! Maybe our big break! But instead they asked to sit in and then we couldn't get them off the stage. After a song or two they stopped "sitting in" on our tunes and started calling their own. Essentially they hijacked our gig and we became their backup band.

This happened in the 3rd set, so at least it was over quickly. Maybe six songs. We actually had to end the set early to get these dudes to leave. It was weird.
 
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In the history of playing we always have politely declined these spur of the moment requests to sit in.

The only exception was an owner of a club that played harmonica, and we had all heard him at different times so we knew he was good. We just played a "sweet home chicago" type of blues thing and he wailed it. Went well. But this was a relatively easy decision knowing is talent and he wasn't displacing anyone or using their gear.

We did have one "sit in" lined up in advance. It was a wedding gig out of town. The groom and 3 of his groomsmen had been in a band when together in college. They requested the sit in at the time of booking the gig and we agreed as long as it was early in the night, assuming the alcohol would not have kicked in yet. They came up, we introduced them and they ran through a very fun, if very loose, version of Blitzkrieg Bop/Ramones. It went over well. The one truly funny part was the bass player was a giant and I'm only 5'6" with a short scale bass. He took my Musicmaster and asked me "did you get this thing from Fisher Price?" :roflmao: He had to loosen my strap as far as it would go just to put it on, an easy adjustment. He did say later he was only kidding about the FP comment, the bass sounded great and he appreciated my letting him play it. I only had one bass back then so no other option.
 
many times :(
One guy claimed to be a bass player who knew a drummer we had worked with. I was asked if he could come up for a song on my gear, assured that he was what he said he was by the drummer. I said okay what song he picked Cream cross roads off the list, I was like cool. He came up during our second set along with the drummer. If the words clueless and train wreck aren't enough of a description, than I have no words, zero pocket sliding up looking for notes and hitting a ton of wrong ones along the way. I could not wait to get up there and grab my bass from him! And the drummer was asking if they could do another song? really dude are you kidding. I had a recording of it for a while but have since deleted it. Most other Heroes to Zero were either guitarist, singers or drummers. He was the last guy I did not personally know, use my gear
 
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Not sure if that's a lefty but being left handed has also gotten me out of many "hey can I try your bass" episodes. Then you have the dummies who will try anyway but left handed. You've played your whole life righty but now that it's a lefty bass you think you can just play lefty instead of upside down!

Yes, left handed 5 string fretless 23" scale uke bass. It's new enough that I haven't played it out in front of people much yet (except for a short set a couple weeks ago), but I am guessing people laugh when they see it.
RockinTheWay2021-02.2.jpg
 
We've had quite a number of folks sit in with the band and not do terribly well. Usually, though these sort of sit-ins are a way to work the tip jar and work well for the sort of low-stakes gigs we do.

Tends to go something like this: The guy or gal sings a song or two, walks away happy and leaves a tip. The audience wasn't expecting much anyway and cheer them on just for getting up there. Everyone feels good about the experience regardless of how good or bad they were.

For higher-stakes gigs, no one gets on stage we don't know well.
 
No regrets but amazed at how different the band's collective perception of "good" was from the kid's mom.

Wedding gig. Aunt Whoever comes up during a break and asks if little Billy can play a song with the band. "He's ten", she smiled. Little Billy is standing right there and telling us what songs he can play. I don't recognize any but the guitar player is cool with it, it's his guitar anyway... The mom is mouthing over top of the kid's head, "He's actually really good," and she's nodding to confirm this fact. So, we're thinking the kid is a prodigy and we are in for a treat.

Break ends, BL introduces the kid. Guitar player hands him the guitar which is wayyyy too big for him. He sits on a chair and the drummer and I are ready to accompany whatever comes out of the kid. Painfully, the kid starts plucking some kind of mess. Notes, maybe. One at a time. With several seconds in between each one. You know what I mean, dead silence between each note as the crowd of family members await the next one. Yeah, Billy found it!!

That went on for about 5 minutes and the BL steps in and rouses a big applause from the audience. The kid was a star, the family happy and we had a quite a few jokes after the gig at the expense of a ten year old.
 
Back in the early 80's we were playing at a club and one of our guitar players asked if a friend of his who plays bass could sit in and I said yes. Now, this guitar player and I were good friends but through time he developed a lot of hostility towards me. Reason? Women. He was very jealous that I drew more female attention than he got and through time the jeers and little put downs from him grew more and more.

Anyway, the guy comes up on stage , I introduced myself and offered my hand in friendship. He gave me a very condescending look, did not shake my hand and just reached for my bass as I was handing it too him. I didn't know if he played with a pick or not and asked him if he plays with his fingers or a pick. Gave me a real condescending look and in a snide way said "fingers." Okay, fine. As I walk off the stage our guitar player says into the microphone "now you're going to hear some bass." (Hmm). Oh it hurt believe me but I chose to ignore it.

Never said or ever thought I was Gods gift to the bass world, but I held my own and the rest of the band never had any complaints with my playing. While our guitar player was one of the best players I've ever heard (he was a monster player!), one of his big problems was that he wanted to be a "rock star." Wanted his name in lights, the mansion on the hill, a fleet of cars and groupies every night. A very insecure person. Well, he never made it and neither did I. Difference is I am very content in life and he feels short changed in every imaginable way. Very bitter of what I last heard. I hope he finds peace and contentment.
 
One of my cardinal rules is, no one gets up on the stage unless you know exactly what they intend to do.

Couple years ago the GP says that he has a friend who has always wanted to play with a band, and can she sit in with us on tambourine? I voted no but was out-voted. Well, this woman couldn't keep time with a stopwatch. She was horrible. I suffered through one song, hoping that would be it. But no, now that she had tasted show business, she refused to leave the bandstand and finished the set with us. I don't know, four or five songs, but it was an eternity. At the break I put my foot down, no more tambourine.

Another time, with another band, we played a benefit for Hurricane Katrina relief. This one guy from the audience wasn't satisfied with the dollars going into the collection box, so he asked if he could have an open mic to make an appeal. Big mistake. He cussed out and berated the audience, making them and us extremely uncomfortable. Another violation of cardinal rule #1. Memorize it, and enforce it.

The dreaded tambourine! Easiest to hear, hardest to play, and everyone assumes that everyone can play one. I can't keep time on a tambourine. It always comes out weird.
 
I let a guy use my bass which was not a big deal for me at a jam, but it was an older bass with a thin neck (80s Fender Performer) and proceeded to pound on it like it was disposable. I asked him to ease up and he said I was just mad because he was better. I don't remember him doing anything memorable or impressive (neither was I) so I took the bass away and invited him to get lost. Only real regret as I could care less how bad or good someone is as long as everyone is having fun.
 
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