George himself appeared with a brandnew plan for some useless defense system in space. Zortawb would become the safest place in the known universe.
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Experiment: Let's write a (TB) story!
- Thread starter Jay2U
- Start date
Why, you may ask? It's simple really. GB heard "zombified chimps" and expected to encounter bongified chips! Or pongified chicks! Or at least some qualified pimps! As you may imagine, the founder and original leader of the zombified chimps was in no mood to party. So he poured out the pixie sticks that he got from Mr. Johnson and released the caged gorilla frogs. Just as everyone expected...
D
The gorilla frogs quickly realized that the zombified chimps had a dark side, and bacause of this the frogs agreed to work undercover for the ducks, who's new heads and brains continued to develop as they worked on their plan of the war of annihilation. This caused....
a nice bit of confusion to all of the sports writers of the time. They began writing blog posts about it, but can boogers read?
wear their younger sister's jeans and 1950s glasses. They could listen to narrations on blobs of flattened plastic, ride bicycles with single gears, and get sleeve tattoos of oversized goldfish.
...Which they indeed did. Little did they know, those sleeve tattoos of oversize goldfish became sleeves of real goldfish! The goldfish-armed hipsters knew not what to do with their newfound deformity, so they banded together against the reanimated ducks to save the world from annihilation. The freeze dried gorilla farts...
. . . were content to wallow in their tattooness in the way only tattoos can (this is where the whole "tattooity in perpetuity" thing came from).
Shadrach chose just this moment to introduce the twins, Bluster and Panache. "But how will I tell you apart?" wondered Turner.
"That's easy," said the first, "I'm the one who can move objects with my mind."
"You mean telekinetic" said the second.
"And," continued the first, "she's the one who knows what things are called."
Shadrach chose just this moment to introduce the twins, Bluster and Panache. "But how will I tell you apart?" wondered Turner.
"That's easy," said the first, "I'm the one who can move objects with my mind."
"You mean telekinetic" said the second.
"And," continued the first, "she's the one who knows what things are called."
Being the terminally ironic hipster she was, she unhesitatingly pointed out that ZIP-drives and floppy disks were in again. When presented with this rather non-sensical set of possibilities, the other hipsters just sneered and ordered more Flet-O-Fish sandwiches and wished out loud that Dance Fever would return in reruns again.
Meanwhile, the kids from south central Antarctica had been perfecting their Polar Roller which had 22 inch genuine baby seal skin hubcaps. As they sat there idling, they ran through their check list.
"It's 1106 miles to Chicago, we gotta full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. HIT IT!"
"It's 1106 miles to Chicago, we gotta full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. HIT IT!"
But Toby had other plans! As his 1,000megaton hydrogen warhead prepared to melt the Southern polar ice cap, Toby pondered many things. The first of which was which member of his female supermodel ninja assassin squad should become his wife. The second of which, was.....
downloaded an instruction manual for his his 1,000 megaton hydrogen warhead, as he became somewhat worried about the ticking noise it made.
This is how far we got already! Keep up the good and fruitful work...
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far beyond the nebula of the Syrinx, there were a song writer and his gnork. They thought they were happy, until they dicovered John Turner ripping the heads off of baby ducks. He diligently filled them with creme, and sent them on their merry way. He looked in his pockets and realized that the chick with bass and her spoons were getting into attack formation and then filled his pockets with recycled french fries. Every time he wanted a fry, he'd reach his hand in and grab a used one. They are cheaper than new ones. Reaching for another used fry he discovered something else in the grease stained bag, a nose pick. HONK! Using the pick he remembered the old days when he was using his fingers for this purpose. Unfortunately his mother warned him: 'If you do this one more time, I'll hit your fingers so hard, that they won't fit in anymore!' He did, so she did! At that exact moment, a giant monster walked in and observed our hero picking his nose. The monster suddenly saw his ultimate fear - a human booger. Not to mention a human booger and his gnork, which had just undergone a gender change. That wasn't a gender change! It is Serena Williams... Sonoma, the new tennis playing $900 toaster retailer spokeswoman, and she has a penchant for assless chaps that glow in the dark when you eat JuJu Bees and Cotton Candy. Not surprisingly she breaks out at Friday night to collect the duck heads. Amongst them were the heads of Huey, Dewey and Louie. It was impossible to distinguish who was who, as the caps weren't there. Panic ruled. Finally the gnork came with a solution. He/she licked the heads and destroyed the world. Wahahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahha!!! After dismissing that horrid thought, the he/she/it gnork determined that identifying ducks by taste was a good way to have friends for diner. After eating Huey, Dewy and Louie the fully satiated gnork washed it down with a fine chianti and fava beans, but everyone knows that a gnork should not eat fava beans. After about 3 minutes the gnork had an allergic reaction to the beans and started to spontaneously sing Anne Murray songs at the tops of it's lungs while doing the church lady strut. The singing provoked a chain raction. The gnork farted its ass off, replacing most of the oxigen in the room by an unhealthy mix of other gasses. Earthlings and other oxigen dependent creatures tried to escape from the room before Gard went to light his next cigarette. As he whipped out his Zippo, he noticed a mob of headless ducks were being lead by the verbally assaulted chair umpire Eva Asderaki and brought Sarah Palin who instantly stated that she could see Russia from there and chuckled to herself saying 'Thanks Tina Fey and SNL' while she drew a very careful bead on Gards cigarette lighter (it was only 300 yards) and......BANG! Arivaderchi Eva Asderaki. Sarah also hallucinated about being the tsar. Meanwhile the gnork, who didn't need air as we know it, farted out his last fava bean and went after the decapitated ducks to the shrine of the golden monkey. It was then that the gnork realized he was actually on a Nickelodean game show. It would win a s***load of tasteful ducks for beating Sponge Bob under water. Some older earthlings recall what happens if gnorks are immersed in water. As they are far descendants of gremlins... midget wrestling gremlins that wear Lucha libre masks even though they were from South Central Antarctica. Why, of course the male ones turn into Perez Hilton clones and the female ones turn into Michaele Salahi clones. And all the little Perez and Michelle clones sat about wonderning how to achieve their next 15 minutes of fame. So they gathered automatic weapons and a large stash of LSD and chartered a jet and headed towards Aruba where they began a scheme of kidnapping wealthy women on vacation, who they would ransom and use the money for head-reattachment surgery for the ducks. But before they could implement their plan, Gene Simmons appeared and introduced everlasting gobstoppers to the equation. And everybody was all like. *** what's up with all these gobstoppers? I didn't even know I had any gobs in the first place! It all made sense, however, when the pocket rocket launched into space carrying zombified chimps. Upon reaching the planet Zortawb, the local species welcomed their new Zombie Space Chimp Overlords from the planet Earth, and pledged alliegence to the last know leader of the pocket rockets national origin, George W Bush the VIII. Meanwhile, back on earth, the headless ducks had discovered that the gnork boogers would graft onto their severed necks and begin to regenerate heads. As their new brains began to form, the only though on their minds was a war of Annihilation against both the zombified chimps and the natives of Zortawb. Suddenly George himself appeared with a brandnew plan for some useless defense system in space. Zortawb would become the safest place in the known universe. Why, you may ask? It's simple really. GB heard "zombified chimps" and expected to encounter bongified chips! Or pongified chicks! Or at least some qualified pimps! As you may imagine, the founder and original leader of the zombified chimps was in no mood to party. So he poured out the pixie sticks that he got from Mr. Johnson and released the caged gorilla frogs. Just as everyone expected the gorilla frogs quickly realized that the zombified chimps had a dark side, and bacause of this the frogs agreed to work undercover for the ducks, who's new heads and brains continued to develop as they worked on their plan of the war of annihilation. This caused a nice bit of confusion to all of the sports writers of the time. They began writing blog posts about it, but can boogers read? No, bloggers couldn't read so they had to rent all the Michael Moore films on vhs so they could discover all the things they should care about if they really wanted to be hip. Once they were hip, the could wear their younger sister's jeans and 1950s glasses. They could listen to narrations on blobs of flattened plastic, ride bicycles with single gears, and get sleeve tattoos of oversized goldfish. Which they indeed did. Little did they know, those sleeve tattoos of oversize goldfish became sleeves of real goldfish! The goldfish-armed hipsters knew not what to do with their newfound deformity, so they banded together against the reanimated ducks to save the world from annihilation. The freeze dried gorilla farts thawed out causing the oversized goldfish to become super size Filet O Fish sandwiches that kept asking "would you like fries with that?" while the other tattoos on the not so young hipsters were content to wallow in their tattooness in the way only tattoos can (this is where the whole "tattooity in perpetuity" thing came from). Shadrach chose just this moment to introduce the twins, Bluster and Panache. "But how will I tell you apart?" pondered Turner. "That's easy," said the first, "I'm the one who can move objects with my mind." "You mean telekinetic" said the second. "And," continued the first, "she's the one who knows what things are called." Being the terminally ironic hipster she was, she unhesitatingly pointed out that ZIP-drives and floppy disks were in again. When presented with this rather non-sensical set of possibilities, the other hipsters just sneered and ordered more Flet-O-Fish sandwiches and wished out loud that Dance Fever would return in reruns again. And then she woke up. Meanwhile, the kids from south central Antarctica had been perfecting their Polar Roller which had 22 inch genuine baby seal skin hubcaps. As they sat there idling, they ran through their check list. "It's 1106 miles to Chicago, we gotta full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. HIT IT!" But Toby had other plans! As his 1,000megaton hydrogen warhead prepared to melt the Southern polar ice cap, Toby pondered many things. The first of which was which member of his female supermodel ninja assassin squad should become his wife. The second of which, was... why wasn't he being accepted in the hipster crowd. It was then he decided to use his Vic 20 and 8-track tapes for good instead of evil. With his rotary phone he connected to CompuServe and then downloaded an instruction manual for his his 1,000 megaton hydrogen warhead, as he became somewhat worried about the ticking noise it made.
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far beyond the nebula of the Syrinx, there were a song writer and his gnork. They thought they were happy, until they dicovered John Turner ripping the heads off of baby ducks. He diligently filled them with creme, and sent them on their merry way. He looked in his pockets and realized that the chick with bass and her spoons were getting into attack formation and then filled his pockets with recycled french fries. Every time he wanted a fry, he'd reach his hand in and grab a used one. They are cheaper than new ones. Reaching for another used fry he discovered something else in the grease stained bag, a nose pick. HONK! Using the pick he remembered the old days when he was using his fingers for this purpose. Unfortunately his mother warned him: 'If you do this one more time, I'll hit your fingers so hard, that they won't fit in anymore!' He did, so she did! At that exact moment, a giant monster walked in and observed our hero picking his nose. The monster suddenly saw his ultimate fear - a human booger. Not to mention a human booger and his gnork, which had just undergone a gender change. That wasn't a gender change! It is Serena Williams... Sonoma, the new tennis playing $900 toaster retailer spokeswoman, and she has a penchant for assless chaps that glow in the dark when you eat JuJu Bees and Cotton Candy. Not surprisingly she breaks out at Friday night to collect the duck heads. Amongst them were the heads of Huey, Dewey and Louie. It was impossible to distinguish who was who, as the caps weren't there. Panic ruled. Finally the gnork came with a solution. He/she licked the heads and destroyed the world. Wahahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahahahhahahha!!! After dismissing that horrid thought, the he/she/it gnork determined that identifying ducks by taste was a good way to have friends for diner. After eating Huey, Dewy and Louie the fully satiated gnork washed it down with a fine chianti and fava beans, but everyone knows that a gnork should not eat fava beans. After about 3 minutes the gnork had an allergic reaction to the beans and started to spontaneously sing Anne Murray songs at the tops of it's lungs while doing the church lady strut. The singing provoked a chain raction. The gnork farted its ass off, replacing most of the oxigen in the room by an unhealthy mix of other gasses. Earthlings and other oxigen dependent creatures tried to escape from the room before Gard went to light his next cigarette. As he whipped out his Zippo, he noticed a mob of headless ducks were being lead by the verbally assaulted chair umpire Eva Asderaki and brought Sarah Palin who instantly stated that she could see Russia from there and chuckled to herself saying 'Thanks Tina Fey and SNL' while she drew a very careful bead on Gards cigarette lighter (it was only 300 yards) and......BANG! Arivaderchi Eva Asderaki. Sarah also hallucinated about being the tsar. Meanwhile the gnork, who didn't need air as we know it, farted out his last fava bean and went after the decapitated ducks to the shrine of the golden monkey. It was then that the gnork realized he was actually on a Nickelodean game show. It would win a s***load of tasteful ducks for beating Sponge Bob under water. Some older earthlings recall what happens if gnorks are immersed in water. As they are far descendants of gremlins... midget wrestling gremlins that wear Lucha libre masks even though they were from South Central Antarctica. Why, of course the male ones turn into Perez Hilton clones and the female ones turn into Michaele Salahi clones. And all the little Perez and Michelle clones sat about wonderning how to achieve their next 15 minutes of fame. So they gathered automatic weapons and a large stash of LSD and chartered a jet and headed towards Aruba where they began a scheme of kidnapping wealthy women on vacation, who they would ransom and use the money for head-reattachment surgery for the ducks. But before they could implement their plan, Gene Simmons appeared and introduced everlasting gobstoppers to the equation. And everybody was all like. *** what's up with all these gobstoppers? I didn't even know I had any gobs in the first place! It all made sense, however, when the pocket rocket launched into space carrying zombified chimps. Upon reaching the planet Zortawb, the local species welcomed their new Zombie Space Chimp Overlords from the planet Earth, and pledged alliegence to the last know leader of the pocket rockets national origin, George W Bush the VIII. Meanwhile, back on earth, the headless ducks had discovered that the gnork boogers would graft onto their severed necks and begin to regenerate heads. As their new brains began to form, the only though on their minds was a war of Annihilation against both the zombified chimps and the natives of Zortawb. Suddenly George himself appeared with a brandnew plan for some useless defense system in space. Zortawb would become the safest place in the known universe. Why, you may ask? It's simple really. GB heard "zombified chimps" and expected to encounter bongified chips! Or pongified chicks! Or at least some qualified pimps! As you may imagine, the founder and original leader of the zombified chimps was in no mood to party. So he poured out the pixie sticks that he got from Mr. Johnson and released the caged gorilla frogs. Just as everyone expected the gorilla frogs quickly realized that the zombified chimps had a dark side, and bacause of this the frogs agreed to work undercover for the ducks, who's new heads and brains continued to develop as they worked on their plan of the war of annihilation. This caused a nice bit of confusion to all of the sports writers of the time. They began writing blog posts about it, but can boogers read? No, bloggers couldn't read so they had to rent all the Michael Moore films on vhs so they could discover all the things they should care about if they really wanted to be hip. Once they were hip, the could wear their younger sister's jeans and 1950s glasses. They could listen to narrations on blobs of flattened plastic, ride bicycles with single gears, and get sleeve tattoos of oversized goldfish. Which they indeed did. Little did they know, those sleeve tattoos of oversize goldfish became sleeves of real goldfish! The goldfish-armed hipsters knew not what to do with their newfound deformity, so they banded together against the reanimated ducks to save the world from annihilation. The freeze dried gorilla farts thawed out causing the oversized goldfish to become super size Filet O Fish sandwiches that kept asking "would you like fries with that?" while the other tattoos on the not so young hipsters were content to wallow in their tattooness in the way only tattoos can (this is where the whole "tattooity in perpetuity" thing came from). Shadrach chose just this moment to introduce the twins, Bluster and Panache. "But how will I tell you apart?" pondered Turner. "That's easy," said the first, "I'm the one who can move objects with my mind." "You mean telekinetic" said the second. "And," continued the first, "she's the one who knows what things are called." Being the terminally ironic hipster she was, she unhesitatingly pointed out that ZIP-drives and floppy disks were in again. When presented with this rather non-sensical set of possibilities, the other hipsters just sneered and ordered more Flet-O-Fish sandwiches and wished out loud that Dance Fever would return in reruns again. And then she woke up. Meanwhile, the kids from south central Antarctica had been perfecting their Polar Roller which had 22 inch genuine baby seal skin hubcaps. As they sat there idling, they ran through their check list. "It's 1106 miles to Chicago, we gotta full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses. HIT IT!" But Toby had other plans! As his 1,000megaton hydrogen warhead prepared to melt the Southern polar ice cap, Toby pondered many things. The first of which was which member of his female supermodel ninja assassin squad should become his wife. The second of which, was... why wasn't he being accepted in the hipster crowd. It was then he decided to use his Vic 20 and 8-track tapes for good instead of evil. With his rotary phone he connected to CompuServe and then downloaded an instruction manual for his his 1,000 megaton hydrogen warhead, as he became somewhat worried about the ticking noise it made.
Earl walk through the door of the Stale Biscuit Diner.
Earl had been recently paroled for knocking someone unconscious
with a box of pancake mix at a church supper. He sat down at the booth closest to the phone, but not to be confused with a phone booth or John Wilkes. As the waitress, Mary McEasy came over to take Earl's order, she noticed Earl was reciting Edgar Allan Poe's macabre poem, "Ulalume", to himself, but was having trouble remembering
the line after, "And now as the night was senescent,"
Invalid Link Removed
Mary almost inaudibly responded, "And star-dials pointed to morn."
With an expression on his face that can only be described by those who have been denied access to a roller-coaster because they were too short, Earl said...
Mike
Earl had been recently paroled for knocking someone unconscious
with a box of pancake mix at a church supper. He sat down at the booth closest to the phone, but not to be confused with a phone booth or John Wilkes. As the waitress, Mary McEasy came over to take Earl's order, she noticed Earl was reciting Edgar Allan Poe's macabre poem, "Ulalume", to himself, but was having trouble remembering
the line after, "And now as the night was senescent,"
Invalid Link Removed
Mary almost inaudibly responded, "And star-dials pointed to morn."
With an expression on his face that can only be described by those who have been denied access to a roller-coaster because they were too short, Earl said...
Mike
