Farting during a show

Discussion in 'Bass Humor & Gig Stories [BG]' started by jive1, Apr 11, 2005.

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  1. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    I know it happens, so share your stories.

    We were playing for the Guiness Tap at a local Irish pub a few years back. During one of the songs that I sang, I let one rip. Couldn't help it, had to do it. As I was singing, the fumes made their way to my nose and I busted out laughing. I look over behind me, and the rest of the band was back against the wall to get away from my stench. One guitar player looks at me and mutters "You a$$hole". The drummer, who couldn't get away from me had the most sour look on his face.

    There have been other gigs where I have let em rip too. Unintentionally of course ;) . My favorite target is the drummer. It's easy since I usually stand by the hihat. But, if the stage is big enough, I'm more than happy to walk over and share with others on the other side of the stage too. It looks like I'm rocking out with the other band members, but really I'm reaking out. Sometimes, I can get away with it and have the other band members blaming each other.

    Yup, I've been a jerk when I was younger. Once in a while I'd walk by a guy who's trying to chat up a girl, and let it rip and continue walking away. Watching the couple's faces and awkwardness made for some laughable moments for me and my bandmates during our breaks.

    I only do stupid stuff like that with bands that I have been working with for a while. I'd never to that when I'm subbing or playing a casual, and definitely not in the studio.

    This is the humor and gig stories forum, so let er rip! :D
  2. DaftCat


    Jul 26, 2004
    Medicine Hat
    So YOU are my twin!

    I usually walk over to my guitar player if I have to fart. The crowd has no idea.

    When we are in the van I'll try my best to hold them in. When we are in the band accommodations I usually throw the fart at them.

    If I am going to be labelled the bass player I am going to play the part. :spit:

    There should be a smilie of a farting bassist, btw.
  3. It's all fair game, and adds to my "stage presence"... ;)
  4. jive1

    jive1 Moderator Staff Member Supporting Member Commercial User

    Jan 16, 2003
    Owner/Retailer: Jive Sound
    I prefer to call em "stage presents"
  5. I play for a band that is one of the Housebands at Billy Bob's in Fort Worth, TX. We play WED-SAT, and the food at the restaurant is half price.

    To make a long story short, after a Wed, Thurs, Friday of onion rings, Chili Cheese fries, buffalo wings, lots of draft beer, etc... by Saturday you cannot stand to be on the same stage as me.

    On a past occasion I have had a singer say into the Mic.."Jimmie is that you, you $^#&* sick $@*%&$&!"
    bridgecables likes this.
  6. Folmeister

    Folmeister Knowledge is Good - Emile Faber Supporting Member

    May 7, 2003
    Tomball, Texas
    Since I turned forty, I am very careful about methane expulsion during a gig. My low-carb diet and diabetes medication have me processing food these days with far less density. I seem to be one step away from Groundhog Day all too often.
  7. P. Aaron

    P. Aaron Supporting Member

    I'm buyin' a 25 ft. cord, maybe a transmitter. Heck, I'll phone it in.
  8. j-raj

    j-raj Bassist: Educator/Soloist/Performer Staff Member Supporting Member

    Jan 14, 2003
    Atlanta, GA!
    yeah... I've absolutely lost count of how many times I've fogged out the bandstand during gigs.

    I'm usually closest to the drummer when those things happen... I think: 'hey, at least he has a fan back there...'
  9. Eric Moesle

    Eric Moesle Supporting Member

    Sep 21, 2001
    Columbus OH
    Drummer is always a captive target. I usually try to get the singer when he's also playing acoustic and can't step away from the mic when singing.

    We usually try to keep it to ourselves, but unfortunately one of the guys let one go a few weeks ago at a private function country club gig, high dollar affair, when we were set up on the floor with the people were right up on us. Brick House wouldn't even have filled THAT dancefloor . . . :meh:
  10. msquared


    Sep 19, 2004
    Kansas City
    When I was in college marching band we went on a trip to play the halftime show for a Minnesota Vikings game. During practice before the show, a handful of other guys in the drumline (who hated the Vikings) were farting as much as they could, in hopes that it would affect Warren Moon's game.

    The best performance farting story I ever heard was in the Aerosmith autobiography ("Walk This Way"). The story was that Tyler wanted their manager to get him some amount of cocaine or he wouldn't go onstage. Not wanting Steven to pass out mid-show, the manager called one of the band's dealers and got a few grams of Mannitol instead. Mannitol apparently is used both as a substance for cutting cocaine and as a baby laxative.

    So showtime is nigh and Tyler asks manager for his lines in the limo on the way to the venue. He manages to crack one off in the limo, to the chagrin of his wife. By the time Aerosmith is onstage, Tyler is farting almost constantly.

    At the end of the chapter, Tyler says that the story is complete BS. But what a great practical joke on the manager's part if it's true. :)
  11. Tim Cole

    Tim Cole

    Jun 12, 2002
    Findlay, Ohio
    I roasted one of my best ever at a quiet coffee shop, I mean this one qualified for the all star series of gas in terms of how horrible.

    That's too quiet/uptight of a setting for that. The singers face turned as red as a tomato.

  12. Stinsok

    Stinsok Supporting Member

    Dec 16, 2002
    Central Alabama
    We use the stage volume to our advantage in the fart game. Playing it cool while you let a paint peeler by the singer and try to mess him up.
  13. xshawnxearthx


    Aug 23, 2004
    new jersey
    hahaha yeah, when im singing a back up part is usually when they come out(i guess its how i stand when im singing).

    though. my favorite move is the dutch oven, or the cup. i usually catch my girlfriend off guard with those two.
  14. Whafrodamus


    Oct 29, 2003
    Andover, MA
    I've never laughed so hard.
  15. Marlat


    Sep 17, 2002
    London UK
    This thread is why I keep coming back to TB. Someone should start this thread in the [DB] side of the forum.
  16. Under the circumstances, he couldn't have chosen better words. :D

    I know many of us suffer from GAS but jeez!

    Then there was the time I playing a gig at the beanery...
  17. Josh Ryan

    Josh Ryan - that dog won't hunt, Monsignor. Staff Member Supporting Member

    Mar 24, 2001

    I used to try and bomb the singer as much as possible. He had a good sense of humour about gas though, so it was no big deal.
  18. fraublugher


    Nov 19, 2004
    ottawa, ontario, canada
    music school retailer
    im mailing all of y'all a gross pack of matches , no , a zippo.

    the only people that should be smelling your gas are your boss , cat and wife .

    ill be over here waiting for it to burn off.
  19. I laughed so hard I farted.

    Hey check out Terence & Philip's live alBUM.
  20. Munjibunga

    Munjibunga Total Hyper-Elite Member Gold Supporting Member

    May 6, 2000
    San Diego (when not at Groom Lake)
    Independent Contractor to Bass San Diego
    I'm getting a mixed message here.
    Squid-TEGH likes this.

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