Farting during a show

So YOU are my twin!

I usually walk over to my guitar player if I have to fart. The crowd has no idea.

When we are in the van I'll try my best to hold them in. When we are in the band accommodations I usually throw the fart at them.

If I am going to be labelled the bass player I am going to play the part.

There should be a smilie of a farting bassist, btw.

 

It's all fair game, and adds to my "stage presence"...

 

I play for a band that is one of the Housebands at Billy Bob's in Fort Worth, TX. We play WED-SAT, and the food at the restaurant is half price.

To make a long story short, after a Wed, Thurs, Friday of onion rings, Chili Cheese fries, buffalo wings, lots of draft beer, etc... by Saturday you cannot stand to be on the same stage as me.

On a past occasion I have had a singer say into the Mic.."Jimmie is that you, you $^#&* sick $@*%&$&!"

 

Since I turned forty, I am very careful about methane expulsion during a gig. My low-carb diet and diabetes medication have me processing food these days with far less density. I seem to be one step away from Groundhog Day all too often.

 

I'm buyin' a 25 ft. cord, maybe a transmitter. Heck, I'll phone it in.

 

yeah... I've absolutely lost count of how many times I've fogged out the bandstand during gigs.

I'm usually closest to the drummer when those things happen... I think: 'hey, at least he has a fan back there...'

 

Drummer is always a captive target. I usually try to get the singer when he's also playing acoustic and can't step away from the mic when singing.

We usually try to keep it to ourselves, but unfortunately one of the guys let one go a few weeks ago at a private function country club gig, high dollar affair, when we were set up on the floor with the people were right up on us. Brick House wouldn't even have filled THAT dancefloor . . .

 

When I was in college marching band we went on a trip to play the halftime show for a Minnesota Vikings game. During practice before the show, a handful of other guys in the drumline (who hated the Vikings) were farting as much as they could, in hopes that it would affect Warren Moon's game.

The best performance farting story I ever heard was in the Aerosmith autobiography ("Walk This Way"). The story was that Tyler wanted their manager to get him some amount of cocaine or he wouldn't go onstage. Not wanting Steven to pass out mid-show, the manager called one of the band's dealers and got a few grams of Mannitol instead. Mannitol apparently is used both as a substance for cutting cocaine and as a baby laxative.

So showtime is nigh and Tyler asks manager for his lines in the limo on the way to the venue. He manages to crack one off in the limo, to the chagrin of his wife. By the time Aerosmith is onstage, Tyler is farting almost constantly.

At the end of the chapter, Tyler says that the story is complete BS. But what a great practical joke on the manager's part if it's true.

 

I roasted one of my best ever at a quiet coffee shop, I mean this one qualified for the all star series of gas in terms of how horrible.

That's too quiet/uptight of a setting for that. The singers face turned as red as a tomato.

Priceless.

 

We use the stage volume to our advantage in the fart game. Playing it cool while you let a paint peeler by the singer and try to mess him up.

 

hahaha yeah, when im singing a back up part is usually when they come out(i guess its how i stand when im singing).

though. my favorite move is the dutch oven, or the cup. i usually catch my girlfriend off guard with those two.

 

I've never laughed so hard.

 

This thread is why I keep coming back to TB. Someone should start this thread in the [DB] side of the forum.

 

Under the circumstances, he couldn't have chosen better words.

I know many of us suffer from GAS but jeez!

Then there was the time I playing a gig at the beanery...

 

+1



I used to try and bomb the singer as much as possible. He had a good sense of humour about gas though, so it was no big deal.

 

im mailing all of y'all a gross pack of matches , no , a zippo.

the only people that should be smelling your gas are your boss , cat and wife .






ill be over here waiting for it to burn off.

 

I laughed so hard I farted.

Hey check out Terence & Philip's live alBUM.

 

I'm getting a mixed message here.