I also feel more comfortable with my fingers, and get the feeling you describe of having the pick between you and the instrument. It's like a disconnect and I feel like my feel and timing is off when using a pick. I do like the tone of pick playing though and don't think either is better than the other. I especially like the tone of players that used a pick with flats and mutes, like Paul McCartney's and Carole Kaye's pick tones are just great, but I just feel more comfortable with fingers. Playing near the bridge and getting some fingernail action will help imitate those pick tones though.
. I play guitar as well, and finger style or pick is just a choice for the song or type of playing - not an "us or them" choice. Some bass players need to get over the pick thing, there's way more important things in life.
even at that, i've always rigged my picks to allow me to hold onto them better because of such poor pick technique. i have it in my mind that i should become fluent/fluid with a pick before i....you know ---
. i may need some lessons. i watch bobby vega and i start thinking that he's having way more fun than me.