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Found out front guy is a registered sex offender.......need advice

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#21
I do my best to protect my kids.

No matter what he tells you, there should be doubt--reasonable, responsible doubt about his "side" of the story. My ex-brother in law is an offender, a repeat offender--convicted and registered--but his story is that he was a victim of vindictive wives, bosses, blah, blah, blah. Ask yourself why a convicted child porn viewer wants to set up a show for a church function. Kids, distracted parents, and he's the superstar are some essential features for an offense.

Be smart. Keep the kids safe.
 
#22
I doubt I could hang around. I mean if a guy messes up with an underage 17!year old. That's a mistake. Kiddie porn is a mental disease. We used to cover a Lost Prophets song on occasion. We won't even do that after the singer was busted for all that disgusting stuff. Good luck.
 
#23
I'm just gonna echo what the other guys said here. It's all in the context.
Maybe he was 19 and his girlfriend at the time was 16 and he got screwed by the formalities.
Or maybe he is a major creep who you should stay away from. I'd say we need to know more context.

Subscribed for updates.
 
#27
Maybe ask him in a nonchalant way.
Like, "hey my coworker googled your name and a sex offender came up...is that you I can't help but ask?"
Ask it in a way as to disarm hostility but still make your point that your not supportive of his act.

Question: did you see his photo on the website or was it just the name. Is there a chance it's another guy with the same name?
 
#28
How old was he in 1997, approximately?
This will surely tell you if there's any chance of an 'ambiguity'. Regardless, it doesn't really matter. Look up what happened with Tripp Eisen if you need proof that the circumstances are more-or-less irrelevant.

Let's be real dude, you can't expect there to be a chance of you becoming a big deal if he's in your band. The fact that it comes up as #2 on Google will end any hope you have with the punters. You would probably have to get used to things being thrown at you.

You might be able to question him about his circumstances and if you think he's sincere you might personally be able to come to terms with working with him. I probably couldn't, but that's just the person that I am.

There are certain things I don't abide, regardless of what the law may say.
 
#29
This is tough. It's true that this status is sometimes applied to people unfairly. For example, during high school, some friends dared me to streak though video store in our small town. I did it, and didn't get caught. If I had gotten caught, I very well could have been arrested and labeled as a sex offender for the rest of my life.

On the other hand, judges don't hand out 10 year prison sentences lightly, even for an issue as emotionally fraught as this. On the third hand, if you're in Texas, the judges may be EXTREMELY strict compared with other parts of the country. It could have been relatively mainstream porn that happened to have a 17 year old in it, and the judge had strong feelings against porn of any kind and applied the law quite strictly.

I don't know what to tell you. I don't have kids, so I'd probably investigate it more and keep going if I wasn't disturbed by what I found. If I had kids I could certainly envision myself feeling different, no matter the circumstances.
 
#31
senp5f said:
On the other hand, judges don't hand out 10 year prison sentences lightly, even for an issue as emotionally fraught as this.
Click to expand...

It was a 10 year probation which leads me to believe that this may have been more of a misunderstanding kind of charge. If this guy had real kiddie porn and was convicted there is no way a judge only gives him probation.

I would ask. I am sure he will likely be uncomfortable as anyone would be when you bring up something bad from their past. Depending on how he reacts would be what I base my decision on to do next. If he acts like he has something to hide or gets angry with me, I would be out the door. On the other hand, if he is willing to explain the circumstances and it was more of a misunderstanding then I would have more to think on. Not saying I would stay but it would really have to do with exactly what happened and exactly how he reacts. After all music is a reputation based business and your reputation is going to be tied to his as you go forward (when people Google your band they are going to find both your names).
 
#32
If you stay in the band with him, would you be ready to defend him to others? You had better find out something more than you already know. It could be something; it could be nothing. Knowing is better than not knowing. I'd be extremely careful with whatever you find out. Stuff like this can escalate into all kinds of ugliness, and you certainly have no right to ruin someone's life under any pretext. This is radioactive stuff, dude.
 
#33
I guess if you want to make the best of the situation then ask him about it. Ask him to detail the charges and eventual conviction to everyone in the band. If you think things have changed then cool. If not, bail.

I've done some questionable things in my past. Not that questionable but something enough for a prospective employer to ask me some questions. As soon as I explained myself those things didn't seem so bad... At least to them & I was hired.
 
#34
Lee Moses said:
Not all registered sex offenses are the same, and not all registered sex offenders are the same. I'm not excusing what he did, but I don't see this quite the same as if he had been a convicted child molester. No, I would never leave my children alone with him. But if he has truly amended his ways, I wouldn't think less of anybody playing in a band with him.

But if you're not comfortable with it, make a change. There's plenty of country talent around McKinney.
Click to expand...

Not only that .. not all registered sex offenders are true sex offenders. A lot of this stuff is directly related to the judge in question and the person's lawyer. The system is not perfect. If he has these proclivities and you spend enough time around him there will be hints... maybe not obvious ones but hints will be there.
 
#35
First, stop saying you don't judge, you are a normal person and you do judge, starting this thread shows that, it's kind of passive aggressive but it is judging. How you act based on that judgement is the important part.

Second you do have the right to ask him, I would agree with the non chalant approach, just say:

"Dude I found out the you are RSO, have that ever be a problem for you in this business? ... I don't know what happened but I would like to know how to deal with it if we start having fans and fame and this issue comes up in the future"

And that is, find out what happened and make your decision. Context is important, I know couples that for a year he was and adult and she was still a minor, things can go south pretty quickly in those situations. On the other hand 10 years sounds pretty harsh for just holding hands but what do I know ... I would say just a ask him.
 
#37
If the number two search result for your front man is "sex offender" then forget about making it as a band. Even if he can furnish a legitimate explanation, many predators are master manipulators, I'd take it with a pretty big grain of salt. Anyway that's besides the point because like I said above, legit explanation or not, if they google you and "sex offender" comes up, no one is going to book you.
 
#38
The band that I play in has a guitarist that is a registered sex offender. He has given me his explanation of what happened but there are a few "holes" in the story. It wasn't with a child but someone maybe a year under legal age who told him the wrong age. When he did his time he was nobody's bitch and now that he's out (this was a good 15+ years ago) he has gotten married and has his **** together.

Locally it's tough getting gigs because he's registered and other bands in the area make it a point to inform the bars what he did, so we spend a lot of time out of town.

We just simply address him by a different name whenever we play anywhere.
 
#39
I am shocked at the reactions on here.... This happened 16-17 years ago and the guy has obviously already paid for his crime and changed his life around. He has a family and you said he already has a strong fan following. There is no reason you should leave this project, it would just further show society's inability to forgive and accept that a person has learned from past mistakes and changed their life in response to it. I don't think you would gain very much from talking to him but if you feel uncomfortable you should and the whole thing will probably turn out to be either a misunderstanding or a stupid teenage mistake. Either way this is no grounds for abandoning the project.
 
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