Found out front guy is a registered sex offender.......need advice

[Korladis]

Quit or fire him and start with someone else. Sing yourself, or get someone who's not a pedophile. Sure, people change, but a pedophile (which is what he is) is a pedophile.

We're talking about someone who had pornography that involved the rape of children in its production. Let me repeat that... he got off to the real life rape of kids. Actual kids. Who were violated, on camera.

 

[jmverdugo]

^^ not really, if you are a 17 year old girl and you take a picture of one of your class mates in the bathroom that shows some skin and post it on FB you could be charged with distributing child pornogrphy.

 

[Jim Campbell]

So many are quick to assume that he's some sort of predator.

I knew a guy in high school who sent a pic of a certain body part to his girlfriend. Somehow one of the other kids in our grade got ahold of it, and sent it around. You could clearly see his face in the picture, so he was charged with distributing underage pornography and now has a black mark on his record for the rest of his life.

This is the kind of thing that could be a result of a deep-seated perversion, or just a dumb kid's mistake. If you committed the latter and people treated you like some sort of sicko everywhere you went, how would you feel?

I would try to broach the subject as tactfully as I could, but if you get creepy vibes then I think it would be acceptable to bow out.

when i was a young guy the bars were full of 16 year old girls....it would never have crossed my mind to card them when they were already inside....granted it's not illegal here but other places could/would make a big deal out of that

 

[StayLow]

Sad, and sadly naive, the many rushes to damning judgement. And the complete fabrication of "facts".

It could certainly be a totally BS charge. If it's the 2nd result on searching his name he must have an unusual name and must be used to dealing with questions about it so I suggest you be forthright and ask him, and also be prepared to answer for it if it comes up re: band activities and ask yourself if you're ok with that should you stick with it.

Good luck.

 

[zachoff]

Let me repeat that... he got off to the real life rape of kids. Actual kids. Who were violated, on camera.

Not sure any of us really know what happened. I'm not condoning child pornography, but really... Do you need a jump to conclusions mat?

 

[Vintagefiend]

Artimus Pyle from Lynyrd Skynyrd became a registered sex offender - I'm not 100% sure on all the details, but basically his exwife made up a story, sold it to the police and he got charged and convicted. His kids say it never happened...but once you're an rso, it's for life.

 

[Korladis]

Not sure any of us really know what happened. I'm not condoning child pornography, but really... Do you need a jump to conclusions mat?

What exactly do you think child pornography is?

The dude was caught in possession of it. Doesn't really require any jumping to conclusions.

The dude had pornography that included the abuse of children. That is what child pornography is.

If you think it's at all okay, then, yeah, you kinda are condoning child pornography.

 

[StayLow]

Not sure any of us really know what happened. I'm not condoning child pornography, but really... Do you need a jump to conclusions mat?

But we're all 100% sure Sartori doesn't have the slightest clue what happened, and that he hasn't bothered to consider the posts in this very thread he's polluting with his baseless accusations.

There's a bright side to that sad display. More wisdom left for the rest of us.

 

[IPYF]

What exactly do you think child pornography is?

The dude was caught in possession of it. Doesn't really require any jumping to conclusions.

The dude had pornography that included the abuse of children. That is what child pornography is.

If you think it's at all okay, then, yeah, you kinda are condoning child pornography.

There was an interesting documentary/news article (on the youtubes probably but I can't find it right now: maybe someone else can) about a teenage boy who had a photo forwarded to his mobile phone of a young person which was inappropriate. He did not want the picture and reported that he received it.

Because the image was physically on his device, he was named a 'child pornographer' and placed on the sex offender's registry, even though he was not involved in taking the picture and claims that he did not ask for it to be sent to him.

You are angry, this is clear and understandable, but you do not have enough information to back up your position. This is very complex and treacherous territory.

 

[zachreh]

I believe in Florida that if you are under 24 years old and you want to have sex with a girl and she is over 16 and consents then it is not considered rape. im pretty sure that's the official law unless im wrong

 

[Hobobob]

Seriously, a lot of half-cocked assumptions being thrown around here. This is a perfect example of what I was trying to say - some people are branded for life with a conviction for a crime that they didn't really commit. But it's a lot easier to just go with your first reaction than to actually sit and think something through.
This guy might be a pervert. Or, he might be a decent guy who was dealt a really bad hand. You can't know until you talk to him. Until then, making assumptions and pulling out pitchforks just makes you the A-hole.

 

[zachoff]

Someone can be a registered sex offender if they're 19 and have sex with a 16 year old or if they're 19 and have a picture of a naked 16 year old... If they're 18 and have a 15 year old girlfriend... If they're 18 and have a naked picture of a 15 year old. My good friend had a cop tell him he was going to have to be registered as a sex offender for peeing behind a bush on the CU campus at 1:30AM... He was a freshman in college at the time.

A 3 year difference in age isn't really that crazy, and I have a 17 year old daughter. Would I be bummed if my daughter were dating a 20 year old? Of course. Would I press charges if my daughter chose to have sex with the guy? No way. I'd question her judgement for a long time, but no way. She knows what she's doing.

Anyway, my point is not to diminish this guy's offense if he's done something super wrong. None of us know what really happened. All I'm saying is there are some situations you could get yourself into that aren't really that bad but could land you on that list... That's all.

 

[mbelue]

It is very complex and treacherous territory, but as pointed out by the OP. The conviction occurred in 1997. Think about it. The internet was a slow, clumsy and uncoordinated version of what we have now. There is a very high probability this was genuine child porn he was caught with. As deplorable as it may sound getting your wank on nowadays is way easier. Back then folks had to be more determined. Which means he had a whole lot more chances to get rid of anything questionable. Which sounds like he didn't.

 

[BawanaRik]

Most of what teenagers pass around as sexting is child pornography.

High school kids are much more aware than I was. I doubt if anyone in my high school class was using their mobile to send naked pics to anyone else.

It's not just Lindsey Lohen. Don't check your daughter's mobile. It's possible to be scared for life by doing so.

 

[zeppfan90]

Honestly, I'm not trying to be rude in any way, but you shouldn't say anything. Is it really any of your business anyway? Like others or saying, maybe he was wrongfully accused. It's really very possible it is not what it sounds like or something like that. Just cause you accidentally came across some information that you have no idea about doesn't mean you should start questioning him. I know if I were him, I'd blow up because I personally wouldn't think you have the right. I understand the suspicion 100 percent dont get me wrong. But just keep your kids away then.

 

[zachreh]

Someone can be a registered sex offender if they're 19 and have sex with a 16 year old or if they're 19 and have a picture of a naked 16 year old... If they're 18 and have a 15 year old girlfriend... If they're 18 and have a naked picture of a 15 year old. My good friend had a cop tell him he was going to have to be registered as a sex offender for peeing behind a bush on the CU campus at 1:30AM... He was a freshman in college at the time.

A 3 year difference in age isn't really that crazy, and I have a 17 year old daughter. Would I be bummed if my daughter were dating a 20 year old? Of course. Would I press charges if my daughter chose to have sex with the guy? No way. I'd question her judgement for a long time, but no way. She knows what she's doing.

Anyway, my point is not to diminish this guy's offense if he's done something super wrong. None of us know what really happened. All I'm saying is there are some situations you could get yourself into that aren't really that bad but could land you on that list... That's all.

Im not one to judge but like you said a 3 year age difference isn't that big at all. Im sure most of the married members on here have spouses with at least a 3 year age difference. Im 21. So when we are dealing with the subject of relationships between young adults, try to remember that despite our age we do know what love is. Yes I agree it does become creepy when its a 21 year old guy and say a 15 year old girl. But I dont think you should be "bummed" if your 17 year old daughter dates a 20 year old guy. That would be like saying im "bummed" that my daughter decided to date a black guy.

 

[zachoff]

Honestly, I'm not trying to be rude in any way, but you shouldn't say anything. Is it really any of your business anyway? Like other people are saying in other posts, what if he was 20 and was with a 17 year old? or something like that. Just cause you accidentally came across some information that you have no idea about doesn't mean you should start questioning him. I know if I were him, I'd blow up because I personally wouldn't think you have the right. I understand the suspicion 100 percent dont get me wrong. But just keep your kids away then.

I dunno, man... If it were something you've gotten over and moved on from, I'm not sure you'd blow up. It might be a pita for you to answer the question again, but if you've truly moved on it shouldn't bother you enough to get angry at the question.

 

[zachoff]

But I dont think you should be "bummed" if your 17 year old daughter dates a 20 year old guy. That would be like saying im "bummed" that my daughter decided to date a black guy.

I'd be bummed because the average 19 year old is in a way different place than the average 16 year old... That's all. I dated a 16 year old when I was 19 and looking back, it was weird. Being in high school and living with your parents is a way different world than being in college and holding down a job for beer money.

 

[zeppfan90]

I dunno, man... If it were something you've gotten over and moved on from, I'm not sure you'd blow up. It might be a pita for you to answer the question again, but if you've truly moved on it shouldn't bother you enough to get angry at the question.

I would definitely get upset. How can you move on with your life if people are assuming things?

Also, OP and others, think of this. His wife most likely knows. If she is willing to marry him and have kids, then it probably isn't what people think. It's none of your business OP. And if you truly must do something, just leave the band. But don't go asking him about these things. It should stay between him and his wife. You have no right to question him because of a random discovery of information you know nothing about.

 

[IPYF]

It's none of your business OP. And if you truly must do something, just leave the band. But don't go asking him about these things. It should stay between him and his wife. You have no right to question him because of a random discovery of information you know nothing about.

I don't agree that it isn't the OPs business. The register exists for a reason and if you wind up on it then you should probably expect to have to explain yourself, probably pretty frequently.

The OP knows little at this stage, but I think it's unfair to suggest that he's not within his rights to inquire should he so desire.

'Don't ask, don't tell' is, and always has been, a very bad policy, and some might argue that it perpetuates the very environment required for crimes of this nature to occur.