friend zoned again...

[Lee H]

kids? i'm 28.

i am a bit of a slow learner though.

well you have a little time yet... LOL

 

[jonathan_matos5]

well you have a little time yet... LOL

thats good! when is the deadine exactly?

 

[Tat2dHeart]

Mikey - the zone? Again? You should have PMd me and I'd have given you my girl's-eye opinion of what to do to avoid that. You still can, if you wanna.

 

[DerHoggz]

If you say it to enough women, Im sure it will eventually.

I really can't see how this could work. Could be all the slaps...

On a semi-serious note, I just realized they are women now that I'm in college. Dang I'm getting old.

 

[MJ5150]

Mikey - the zone? Again? You should have PMd me and I'd have given you my girl's-eye opinion of what to do to avoid that. You still can, if you wanna.

Post it here, many guys here can benefit from your insight.

-Mike

 

[Dale D Dilly]

I guess most girls don't want a 35 year old guy who's in nursing school, have a 6 year old, and have a psychotic ex-wife. Like I can help any of that.
.

I don't think there's anything wrong with you for any of those things, but you're responsible for every one of them other than your age, so I don't fully understand your sentiment there.

Lower your standards down to women that don't care if you have a kid and are smart enough to not be bothered by the nursing school thing? Why not start hitting on some 35 year old nurses, try to make them RNs or NPs so you know they've probably got a little bit of brains and appreciate how far nursing school can get you.

 

[HaRd]

***? I hate it. I meet girls, they tell me how awesome I am... sensitive, caring, yet cool because I'm a paramedic, ride motorcycles, play in a band, etc... they tell me how i'm the perfect guy. Then when it comes time to ask the important question they always just want to be friends. I hate it. I mean, i'm not drop dead gorgeous but i'm not hideous either. I guess most girls don't want a 35 year old guy who's in nursing school, have a 6 year old, and have a psychotic ex-wife. Like I can help any of that.

It just irritates me because then you'll see them go for the guy who has a great job or is super hot, but they are total jerks and they have nothing in common with them. Then they're always calling me when they get hurt by them.

F---.

First off: I'm going to admit that I read the first, second, and last page (5th) hardcore and skimmed the rest. Their is some very good advice and some real LOL worthy material as well. From this original post a lot can actually be perceived. Any guy that openly says on a forum that he is "sensitive, caring, yet cool" is fighting an uphill battle with the opposite sex (in terms of getting personal). Think about the adjectives said and they relate to a FRIEND... not saying that they don't play into a potential bf or gf situation but if you feel so strongly that way that you describe it as personal traits in public then you are probably misplaying. I don't mean to sound harsh but it takes some real sauve-ness to use those as starting building points in a foundation of a relationship.

I don't honestly think that going to nursing school and having a kid are huge turn offs (I'm not 35 so I'm not sure...) but if you refer to your ex-wife as psychotic that's a bad move as stated by previous posters. Think of it this way even if she was the most rotten human being on the face of the earth if you use that card to just casually chat away with a potential somebody they might think that title will end up on their head and not want to take a leap of faith. You really need to think things through and outside the box since that's what women are trained to do naturally. Subliminal motives, underlying meanings, presumptions- its what women can naturally see and think of in almost every situation. I'm not bad mouthing women but I do think it's somewhat screwy...

Also, never lower your standards. I feel a few people said that (literally and applying it) and that is terrible advice unless you are so disconnected from reality and actually are on a higher throne in your head then you perceive. Lowering your standards is essentially what gets you stuck in something where you either: A) Settled or B) In a dead end relationship. You wouldn't lower your standards in buying an instrument if you knew what your playing level deserved so don't do it with women. It sometimes takes a few tries and hardships to find it- and it most likely will be worth it.

 

[MatticusMania]

I think my problem is I'm too hardcore for a "normal" girl and too "normal" for a hardcore girl. Normal girls get scared by metal bands, tattoos, motorcycles, being vegetarian, etc. Hardcore girls think i'm a nerd because I don't drink/smoke/do drugs, have a corporate job, and am clean cut (have to be for work). It's hard not fitting in to any one group lol.

Maybe youre problem has more to do with trying to fit into some sort of group rather than being an individual who answers to your own whim.

 

[Jonyak]

First off. There is no reason a chick should know all that stuff about you before you're naked. It's not like you have to disclose all your baggage before to bump uglies. Why are you putting that info out there so fast. I'm not saying don't do it at some point but that's saved for talk after you're recovering naked and sweaty (on the 9-10 time going at it). The only thing you're responsible for disclosing or divulging is some kind of name (not always your actual name) and any kind of diseases you have, or may have been exposed to.

But as others have said. Don't be a friend, if you don't want to be. You can make it very obvious that you're attracted to a chick without being a friend. You can even make it a joke. At some point mention that with an @$$ like that you have absolutely no interesting in being friends. Or your own personal flavor of letting a chick know your intentions. If she's trying to control the situation, by stating that she wants to just be a friend, then she's no longer an option. Don't continue calling her or texting her or paying her any sort of attention. DROP her, and continue onto the next prospect. If you remove your attention from a chick, and then she finds out that some other chick is receiving said attention, she might actually do things to make sure she gets your attention back, even if she wasn't even that attracted to you in the first place. That's the nature of chicks. If she wasn't genuinely into in the first place, then even better because now you've moved onto scoring with the next chick. Quantity over quality. It's not just a numbers game, but it's a game of leverage as well.

You need to write a book.