Get off my LAWN! "Grumpy Old Farts"

[alaskaleftybass]

You said "if we have 71 year old leaders in this country".

Still waiting to see one ...

Sorry I'm treading on thin ice here... back to our usual programming....

 

[Al Kraft]

Will, I will be the first to admit that all culture is local and there is no way I can possibly give intelligent advice that is guaranteed to work for you, in your town, at your job. So I will just say that how people felt about you before they knew your age shouldn't really change if you remain the same person next week when you show up for work.

As for working for 3 more years, unless you're in a profession with a mandatory retirement age (e.g. federal law enforcement officers, air traffic controllers, etc.), if you can still do your job, there are laws against age discrimination.

 

[beans-on-toast]

Well, I have something to share with you GOF's and I hope you have an opinion. There's a lady I've known since we were in the sixth grade. She's kinda not all there sometimes, says really stupid things at the worst possible times. Well, small town, and she applied for a job where I work. One guy I work with has been after me for several years wanting to know my age. I always made a joke of it and told him I'm over 39.

Well, my dingy friend came to see me on the way out and stopped by the office of this guy who's been wanting to know my age. She said, "Will and I are the same age and I'm 65." I was so enraged, I've kept my age my business for 18 years while working at the City. There was also the deputy administrator within earshot. I know how the world works. Get my age and people start asking when you're going to retire. Well, I've been blessed, being Alaska Native, that I've always looked much younger than my age. I was carded right up to 35. Most people couldn't tell if I was 50 or 55, but they knew over 50.

I don't know why the guy I work with has wanted so badly to know my age, but this is the fourth time he attempted and he finally succeeded. I'm furious with him for asking and I'm going to confront him Monday. What business is it of his to ask my age? Secondly, he was asking and pressing the issue WHILE he was my supervisor. There's got to be some broken laws there somewhere.

As for my female friend, I'm furious with her too. She had no business divulging our age to my supervisor, especially when I made it obvious I didn't want to divulge it especially in front of senior staff.

I don't know how I'm going to handle this. This is my livelihood and I have to work for at least three more years. Now when word spreads how old I really am I'm probably going to be treated like a leper. I've always been very popular with all the staff, and tease around and visit with everyone, and the younger ladies prefer me to support their computers, and ask me when I'm going to play somewhere. I'm worried all that's going to change now.

I told my wife and she's never liked my female friend. She said that was typical of her stupidity. I also serve on the local Tribal Council as a councilman. She's the Chairwoman. I'm so upset I'm thinking about resigning my position from there too, except I know that she isn't completely liked by all the council members. I feel very comfortable with the other council members and I wish she would quit the council so I could stay on.

So what say ye, my GOF friends? Am I being paranoid? I wish I could comfort my mind, but this is mine and my wife's livelihood. I've been fretting about this all weekend. Thanks for listening.

I would forget it.

Don’t raise it as an issue and cause friction at work with anyone other than the twit with the big mouth. It’s her word, not yours. It means nothing.

Check the rules, often they can’t make you retire at 65. Sometimes management wants to know if you are intending to leave for planning purposes. It is none of their business. If they ask, tell them that you are not planning on retiring. You shouldn’t say possibly in three years.

Untill you decide to leave, make yourself as useful as possible, be highly productive, volunteer to take on every task that you can. If you can get involved in writing grant applications, do so. If you can identify grants that the band can apply for, do so. Bringing in grant money would make you very valuable. It sucks but you have to do what you have to do to keep your job.

Unfortunately, as you get older, opportunities for advancement may be limited. They want younger people in jobs that are going to be there for a long time. They won’t admit to that though.


———————

I know a guy that wanted to be offered a retirement package. He started working to rule, missed or was late for meetings, didn’t say anything in meetings. They did eventually offer him a deal. He got to retire at 55 on full salary untill he was 65. He sat at home and got full pay. He even got indexed to inflation increases every year. He was an academic with full tenure at a university and departments were required to cut staff. These people got moved to a different budget. The government does stupid things like that. Deals like that don’t happen in the real world.

 

[GonePlaid]

Kindof funny - tonight's BL always says he's 39. Turns out he, me, and the other guitarist all graduated HS the same year. Pretty sure he dies his hair but he won't comment LOL. I had a gig last night with guys all 10 years younger than me or more - I did a quick dye job with dollar store dye that basically only took the edge off the white but not super obvious . Didn't have time to ditch the bifocals though - should be searching for my single vision stage glasses right now instead of TB-ing LOL.

Get progressives.

 

[BadExample]

Untill you decide to leave, make yourself as useful as possible, be highly productive

I was there for many years. They beat me down. Now my goal every day is not to get fired. They don't have any reason to, but I've stopped working harder than everyone else.

 

[BadExample]

Didn't have time to ditch the bifocals though - should be searching for my single vision stage glasses right now instead of TB-ing LOL

Hey brotha, by now you should have at least one angle grinder. DIY the line out of those bifocals! What could go wrong? especially while not wearing corrective lenses

 

[Al Kraft]

I was there for many years. They beat me down. Now my goal every day is not to get fired. They don't have any reason to, but I've stopped working harder than everyone else.

If you're like me (and I suspect you are), you've stopped working harder because you've learned that working smarter and knowing when something is actually worth the extra effort produces better results than killing yourself being first in and last out every day even when there's nothing going on. I still have days that seem to go on forever occasionally, but they are of my choosing and no longer a routine just to make others feel like I'm genuinely committed to the agenda of the week.

One of the best things about getting older is not only knowing when to engage and when to call BS on a play, but not having to prove anything to anyone whose resume is weaker than yours or whose "I love me wall" has less awards hanging on it. I don't live off my reputation, but I do stand on it and find all those experiences allow me to reach higher without having to try as hard as I used to. That's not giving up or being lazy, it's enjoying the benefits of successfully surviving decades of challenges.

Having lived a long and successful life and being able to leverage that experience to make tough jobs look easier is nothing to apologize for or be ashamed of...at least not IMO.

 

[alaskaleftybass]

If you're like me (and I suspect your are), you've stopped working harder because you've learned that working smarter and knowing when something is actually worth the extra effort produces better results than killing yourself being first in and last out every day even when there's nothing going on. I still have days that seem to go on forever occasionally, but they are of my choosing and no longer a routine just to make others feel like I'm genuinely committed to the agenda of the week.

One of the best things about getting older is not only knowing when to engage and when to call BS on a play, but not having to prove anything to anyone whose resume is weaker than yours or whose "I love me wall" has less awards hanging on it. I don't live off my reputation, but I do stand on it and find all those experiences allow me to reach higher without having to try as hard as I used to. That's not giving up or being lazy, it's enjoying the benefits of successfully surviving decades of challenges.

Having lived a long and successful life and being able to leverage that experience to make tough jobs look easier is nothing to apologize for or be ashamed of...at least not IMO.

Well put, @Al Kraft . I do have some authority and get respect at work. There’s never been a hint of my leaving. I am going to play it cool. People like me at work and always seek my advice.

Thanks GOF’s for all your excellent advice. And for being great guys!

 

[BassmanPaul]

It’s caught not cod. Cod sounds like caught.

It does? Must be the American accent! Myself I speak English proper like!

 

[RandM]

I feel for you Will, but can't help but think
your worried because your unsure about WHY he's curious about your age and so
assume the worse.

As Al said this is local culture and I couldn't
begin to say do this / do that, but it seems to me if there's no arbitrary retirement age
for your Job/Council and your capable of performing your duties well then it could be any thing from "future planning" to backhanded scheming.

I'd continue exactly as are at work and not bring any agro into it - BUT - I'd be assertive about "grey" areas and tidy them up.

I'd make enquiries as to why he's interested, no heat, you have every right to know. If he says anything about retirement
say you've NO plans to retire - don't set up expectation by giving a time until your a few months away from doing it. That's enough time for them to plan. And if there IS any sense of scheming going on and it IS illegal just letting them know that your
aware of that law and willing to use it should be enough to settle him down.

And I'd certainly let the chatterbox know
how you feel and tell her to shut the F¥€k up about your personal info!!!

Oh - capitals are for emfarsiss - I'm not
yelling at cha sport : )

Maurie.

 

[Al Kraft]

It does? Must be the American accent! Myself I speak English proper like!

...and amazingly we colonists still understand thee.

 

[BadExample]

If you're like me (and I suspect your are), you've stopped working harder because you've learned that working smarter and knowing when something is actually worth the extra effort produces better results than killing yourself being first in and last out every day even when there's nothing going on. I still have days that seem to go on forever occasionally, but they are of my choosing and no longer a routine just to make others feel like I'm genuinely committed to the agenda of the week.

One of the best things about getting older is not only knowing when to engage and when to call BS on a play, but not having to prove anything to anyone whose resume is weaker than yours or whose "I love me wall" has less awards hanging on it. I don't live off my reputation, but I do stand on it and find all those experiences allow me to reach higher without having to try as hard as I used to. That's not giving up or being lazy, it's enjoying the benefits of successfully surviving decades of challenges.

Having lived a long and successful life and being able to leverage that experience to make tough jobs look easier is nothing to apologize for or be ashamed of...at least not IMO.

That's a big part of it, but also being told to do it wrong all the time leads me to say it won't work well, then when it doesn't, OK, it's 5 see you tomorrow I only WISH I had the precision and cooperation of NAVAIR at my fingertips. I had personal goals of leaving things a certain way before I retire, but now my goal is $1000/day for consultation, including 2 hours of travel to the nearest internet cafe with a solid connection

 

[BadExample]

I feel for you Will, but can't help but think
your worried because your unsure about WHY he's curious about your age and so
assume the worse.

A subtle form of racism comes to mind. Subtle if you are not the victim!

 

[Stumbo]

Well, I have something to share with you GOF's and I hope you have an opinion. There's a lady I've known since we were in the sixth grade. She's kinda not all there sometimes, says really stupid things at the worst possible times. Well, small town, and she applied for a job where I work. One guy I work with has been after me for several years wanting to know my age. I always made a joke of it and told him I'm over 39.

Well, my dingy friend came to see me on the way out and stopped by the office of this guy who's been wanting to know my age. She said, "Will and I are the same age and I'm 65." I was so enraged, I've kept my age my business for 18 years while working at the City. There was also the deputy administrator within earshot. I know how the world works. Get my age and people start asking when you're going to retire. Well, I've been blessed, being Alaska Native, that I've always looked much younger than my age. I was carded right up to 35. Most people couldn't tell if I was 50 or 55, but they knew over 50.

I don't know why the guy I work with has wanted so badly to know my age, but this is the fourth time he attempted and he finally succeeded. I'm furious with him for asking and I'm going to confront him Monday. What business is it of his to ask my age? Secondly, he was asking and pressing the issue WHILE he was my supervisor. There's got to be some broken laws there somewhere.

As for my female friend, I'm furious with her too. She had no business divulging our age to my supervisor, especially when I made it obvious I didn't want to divulge it especially in front of senior staff.

I don't know how I'm going to handle this. This is my livelihood and I have to work for at least three more years. Now when word spreads how old I really am I'm probably going to be treated like a leper. I've always been very popular with all the staff, and tease around and visit with everyone, and the younger ladies prefer me to support their computers, and ask me when I'm going to play somewhere. I'm worried all that's going to change now.

I told my wife and she's never liked my female friend. She said that was typical of her stupidity. I also serve on the local Tribal Council as a councilman. She's the Chairwoman. I'm so upset I'm thinking about resigning my position from there too, except I know that she isn't completely liked by all the council members. I feel very comfortable with the other council members and I wish she would quit the council so I could stay on.

So what say ye, my GOF friends? Am I being paranoid? I wish I could comfort my mind, but this is mine and my wife's livelihood. I've been fretting about this all weekend. Thanks for listening.

Everyone all ready knows you're old(er).

Since it's your lively hood, forget about it.

You can't control other people.

Unless there is a mandatory retirement, don't worry about it.

If you someone keeps asking you a question you don't have to answer, ask them not to bother you with it anymore after the second time.

Pride about your "young" looks is vain. Since this has affected you so deeply, causing so much anxiety, and how you perceive how others see you: "young ladies prefer me", I suggest getting some counseling.

 

[BadExample]

It does? Must be the American accent! Myself I speak English proper like!

If you're going to live in the country lean the language. Speak Spanish!

 

[BassmanPaul]

Just got back from playing in a park in Tottenham. it’s an hours drive, took two ‘cos of roadworks. It was unbelievably hot and humid. By the time we’d finished our second set I was completely saturated. If I would have had any sense I would have taken a complete change of clothes!!!

 

[alaskaleftybass]

I feel for you Will, but can't help but think
your worried because your unsure about WHY he's curious about your age and so
assume the worse.

As Al said this is local culture and I couldn't
begin to say do this / do that, but it seems to me if there's no arbitrary retirement age
for your Job/Council and your capable of performing your duties well then it could be any thing from "future planning" to backhanded scheming.

I'd continue exactly as are at work and not bring any agro into it - BUT - I'd be assertive about "grey" areas and tidy them up.

I'd make enquiries as to why he's interested, no heat, you have every right to know. If he says anything about retirement
say you've NO plans to retire - don't set up expectation by giving a time until your a few months away from doing it. That's enough time for them to plan. And if there IS any sense of scheming going on and it IS illegal just letting them know that your
aware of that law and willing to use it should be enough to settle him down.

And I'd certainly let the chatterbox know
how you feel and tell her to shut the F¥€k up about your personal info!!!

Oh - capitals are for emfarsiss - I'm not
yelling at cha sport : )

Maurie.

Great advice on all counts. As far as being on the Tribal Council, there is a completely different mentality and culture. As we age in the council, we are expected to be the brain trust of the Tribal organization. We are treated with upmost respect. The guy at work who's so nosy was just a temporary supervisor to me while my real boss is gone. My real boss is cool about me and often comes to me about advice. He's only 35. I'm generally untrusting of people and expect the worst of the lot and generally I'm not disappointed. But for now I'm going to not make an issue of it, except my co-worker who's no longer my temporary boss, when we're alone, I'm going to ask him why it matters to him what age I am. Just out of curiosity, you see.

 

[Stumbo]

Great advice on all counts. As far as being on the Tribal Council, there is a completely different mentality and culture. As we age in the council, we are expected to be the brain trust of the Tribal organization. We are treated with upmost respect. The guy at work who's so nosy was just a temporary supervisor to me while my real boss is gone. My real boss is cool about me and often comes to me about advice. He's only 35. I'm generally untrusting of people and expect the worst of the lot and generally I'm not disappointed. But for now I'm going to not make an issue of it, except my co-worker who's no longer my temporary boss, when we're alone, I'm going to ask him why it matters to him what age I am. Just out of curiosity, you see.

That "age" guy is creating a hostile work environment. Report him to HR. It could also be part of discrimination and elder abuse.

 

[alaskaleftybass]

Everyone all ready knows you're old(er).

Since it's your lively hood, forget about it.

You can't control other people.

Unless there is a mandatory retirement, don't worry about it.

If you someone keeps asking you a question you don't have to answer, ask them not to bother you with it anymore after the second time.

Pride about your "young" looks is vain. Since this has affected you so deeply, causing so much anxiety, and how you perceive how others see you: "young ladies prefer me", I suggest getting some counseling.

I don't need counseling. I do look younger than my age, and a lot of the younger ladies AND GUYS do like me. There are two others in my department who provide support but I get most of the calls. I should have stated, "young ladies and guys relate to me and know I play in the clubs in town" instead of the misleading statement I made.

My anxiety is if some stupid manager decides it's time for Will to look for the pasture because he's 66. That's a reasonable concern. I consider myself a healthy, well balanced happy person, and although you may have good intentions, somehow I've mislead you about your impression of me.

 

[BadExample]

We love you brotha! You're in the right here, I'm sure.