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Getting snubbed/standoffish musicians...

#81
meh, I don't even care anymore.
if they don't acknowledge me in a social setting, then too bad for them.

Unless it is someone who is my good pal, I don't care anymore.

If they see the show, then they will be forced to acknowledge me when I thrust my bass right in their face and yell during the super fast double kick part.
 
#83
glocke1 said:
I'm generally pretty thick skinned, but this type of stuff really bothers me as it is downright rude and ill mannered. Short version is I went to see a friend play last night who is touring with a national act. I've played with the guy before, and several of the other musicians that have been in the various lineups were there.

When I saw the chance to do so I went up to say hello and was surprised to find a couple just didn't even want to acknowledge my presence. It's not like they were being mobbed by people either, as the place just didn't even really have that many people in there. It's also not like we had bad or negative encounters previously, we hadn't.

I pretty much go out of my way to treat everyone equal unless they have already established themsevles as a douchenozzle. This means if someone comes up to me to say hello, I'll chat with them for a minute or so and engage them in conversation so that I do not get a rep for being a douchenozzle. Even if it's just as simple as "oh hey great to see you, doing any playing lately"?

Seriously people, if you can't even have the courtesy to be nice to someone and not make them feel like they are beneath you, you should just leave the planet sooner rather than later.
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they're insecure and/or jealous. don't worry about it.
 
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#84
Wow, there's a lot of negative responses on here. Maybe it's a bass player thing because a lot of you guys are pretty harsh.
Anyway, for what it's worth, some people are just not very nice. Read some of your responses here if you're in doubt.
There was no reason for them to be rude, but that's how it goes. If you are the kind of person to say hello and chat, stay that way and let the rude people fade away from your life.
Who knows, maybe you'll be killing it at a show one fine day and those same people will approach you. Now what do you do?
 
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#86
Well sixxgunn perhaps I should edit it to say " a large portion" rather than most, yea ok, .... I was wrong, it's just a "large portion". I'll go fix it now. Goes to edit. I'm really not a misanthrope, I just see more disingenuous people in everyday life than real, straight from the heart truth tellers. It seems to me an awful lot of people are out to get what they can and screw everyone else. But then there was a time I managed a sales crew. That may have affected my thinking too. In this day and age the me generation of entitlement is far too prevalent. I also have seen far too many than my share of phonies that will smile to you're face then stab you in the back and throw you under the bus without a second thought or any remorse. To get back OT I'll just say to the OP. Those who you thought were your "friends" perhaps were not interested in having you for a friend. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.
 
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#87
I actually catch myself, immediately after playing, being standoffish sometimes.
I put everything I have into a performance, so afterwards I'm running a little low in the emotions department.
Like I'm a grey, straight line.
But then I check myself and put my social big boy hat on.

I realize this comment may not help, I was just sharing.
 
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#89
SunnBass said:
I actually catch myself, immediately after playing, being standoffish sometimes.
I put everything I have into a performance, so afterwards I'm running a little low in the emotions department.
Like I'm a grey, straight line.
But then I check myself and put my social big boy hat on.

I realize this comment may not help, I was just sharing.
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Yeah I can understand that, happens we all get tired and de-emotionalized almost like coming down from being sedated at the dentist!
 
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#90
It pisses me off also. I enjoy hanging with other musicians and the ones with their heads up their butts really tick me off. Just be cool with others national band , local, whatever. What's worse is local, regional musicians who play where we do that sometimes think they are rock stars. Hey Pal! We play the same places you do in the same area...lighten up!
I would of reminded them that they were playing to an nearly empty room...good job guys..enjoy the tour.
 
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#91
I think its hilarious when these younger kids act like they made it in the big time at guitar center trying to look like a member of Korn stuck up as all hell even making fun of people without a look playing decent on an instrument after which they grab a guitar/bass and they are terrible cant even hold it right. Funniest experience ever this cool cat came into guitar center picked up a bass and was fluid as hell running through jazz licks and slapping like a pro totally awesome these two "gothers" painted nails and everything making fun of the guy jamming the entire time after the guy left the two "gothers" grabbed a bass and were attempting to play Dope Show by marilyn manson couldnt even get that right then the gothers said they hate playing with Boomers the other guy said he needed his bass to play it right, LOL. I just laugh at these kind of people. Sorry off topic..
 
#92
glocke1 said:
oh no doubt they heard me..

As for the not remembering part thats possible, but I've probably done a half dozen gigs with the guys in question and they were good gigs, with the exception of one which was a complete trainwreck for other reasons entirely.

I'm generally pretty thick skinned, but freely admit this type of stuff does bother me somewhat mainly because I make it a point to be nice to other people, as long as they have not already established themselves as a nuisance.

ETA: I'm somewhat cold and aloof also, in that I have little interest in talking to someone for long periods of time in mindless chit-chat, but will still greet people I know who come up to say hello to me warmly.
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I feel you. I tend to be really good at establishing rapport. When it falls flat, I always feel kinda like, "But...why??"
 
#93
jalapejoe said:
trying to look like a member of Korn
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That's Funny! Just another uniform imho. I came into the repair shop in my day job uniform and they all looked like, uncomfortable or something, to see a plain-bellied sneech in their midst.

I felt snubbed a lot by people at gigs (I'm 45 now) in the now and in the past. I'm realizing more and more that it's not personal, and it's actually kinda nice not to b.s. with everyone at the gig, I actually want to zone out and take in the music. Always I wind up with a "my buddy" character who will talk my ear off, usually wasted too. never female, dammit.
Don't close your doors to snubs, my band opened for Queensryche in 2001 at a private party... they showed up after our set was over, we could've been the janitor for all they knew, but I was too distracted by why they were still wearing silly '80s duds.
 
#96
SunnBass said:
I actually catch myself, immediately after playing, being standoffish sometimes.
I put everything I have into a performance, so afterwards I'm running a little low in the emotions department.
Like I'm a grey, straight line.
But then I check myself and put my social big boy hat on.

I realize this comment may not help, I was just sharing.
Click to expand...
I used to be that way. Between working at the Apple Store and just like, realizing how unapproachable I seemed, I've opened up a lot. I ultimately realized that being introverted has cost me a lot of opportunities. It's exhausting sometimes but I always feel better when I at least try to connect to people, than when I don't. You never know who you'll meet that way.
 
#98
Being snubbed sucks (not that I'd know on account of being so friggin' awesome), and I certainly won't get on your case for sharing a gripe, but people are complicated, so try to ask yourself whether it's a better use of time to try to understand peoples' motivations, or to treat yourself to a beer. On the other hand, pondering the behavior of silly humans is one of my pastimes, which might explain my incredible lack of success.

Eh, who cares. I'm just another ass-face farting opinions into the toilet void. (Another of my pastimes.)
 
#99
I'm kind of in the middle on this one. I honestly try to be friendly and social at shows, but really I'm not that kind of guy. Our guitarist and I in particular are both pretty antisocial, we have our small circle of friends and Thats the way we like it. Different people are just different. Maybe this guy was just having a crappy day, maybe if the turnout was as bad as the OP made it sound, maybe he was a little embarrassed.
 
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#100
I don't completely understand the situation. Did you actually walk up to them and say hi? I find it hard to believe they didn't acknowledge you at all if you were right in their face.

Anyway, being in Nashville it seems like every "musician" has a giant ego and no skills to back it up. I've noticed that a lot of people here don't want anything to do with me because my music makes them feel insecure. I never thought getting better would mean less people would want to play with me...seems like everyone just wants to play with people who are worse than them. Man this place sucks, can't wait to move out west.
 

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