I havent had a problem with this in 28 years of gigging,my wife is a strong person capable of taking care of her self and telling anyone to backoff.
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Girlfriends or wives getting hit-on at gigs?
- Thread starter FingerPulse
- Start date
Never really bothered me my wife is beautiful but generally intimidates men because she is almost 6ft in boots pierced and tatted. Before we were together (almost 10 years) I lived with a stripper who was 15 years younger than me and became completely immune to guys hitting on her at the end of the night she always walked out of the club with me.
Punch to the face, broken bottle up ass, that's what she has done/will do. I don't know about me...
I totally sympathize with you! It's so hard to concentrate on thewords of a song or stage presence when everyone is asking your girl to dance, you see she has very BIG EYES, if you know what I mean, Ha! She could not understand why all the men wanted to dance the slow songs and not the fast one's. You see some bimbos are not all rocket scientist and do not want to hurt other people's feelings. I was competing in a national Marlboro Contest, won by the band that went on to be Country/Western Grammy winning band LONESTAR, and I asked my girl as a personal favor to me if she would not dance with anyone that night simply because she has monster appendages. She agree, and 30 minutes later she was dancing with a guy that already had a beautiful girlfriend. Our band came in 4th place, one place out of the money, and when we got home I asked her why she broke her promise. She said that she told the guy no, and he said "give me three reasons why not". She could'nt think of three at the moment so she danced with him I told her she should have said "MY BOYFRIEND, MY BOYFRIEND, MY BOYFRIEND" As you might have guessed, we did'nt make it, and for all of you guys feeling smug about your relationships, just remember. It's a big world out there and there is always somebody more charming, more funny, more handsome that would remember to leave the toilet seat down. Just like there are always better bass players! If you want to keep Mama, LEAVE HER AT HOME!
My ex is a cute little thing, with a pile of red hair, a loud laugh, and a prominent "upper mammalial carriage", as Dan Aykroyd once put it. When we were together, I never worried about her even though she got plenty of attention from men. She was raised in a bar and knew how to handle any drunk. She wasn't the least bit shy about verbally disemboweling any poor bastit who went too far. Actually, it was kind of fun to watch her go!
Since my gigs these days all consist of playing at church, I'd find it very disturbing if she was getting hit on during one of my gigs. 
My wife sits with the rest of the band's wives. When she gets hit on the other wives just say her husband is the bass player and point to me. That stops them in their tracks. I don't know why. At a Christmas gig a guy came and hit on my wife so they told him she was my wife, so he hit on the guitar player's wife, they told him she was his wife, then he hit on the drummer's wife and they introduced him to the drummer. He left right after that.
I usually use a wireless and would not hesitate to get the club security to escort anyone bothering the wives out of the bar. I am the entertainment not security let them do their jobs, most club owners prefer a hastle free environment for thier female patrons.
One place I play the owner also plays and he has been known to leave the stage and throw people out while his band is paying. So far most clubs I go to don't put up with any nonsense. We did a Halloween gig with the club owner's band and when anyone would go near the wives table he was there to be sure there were no hastles.
I usually use a wireless and would not hesitate to get the club security to escort anyone bothering the wives out of the bar. I am the entertainment not security let them do their jobs, most club owners prefer a hastle free environment for thier female patrons.
One place I play the owner also plays and he has been known to leave the stage and throw people out while his band is paying. So far most clubs I go to don't put up with any nonsense. We did a Halloween gig with the club owner's band and when anyone would go near the wives table he was there to be sure there were no hastles.
It's simple. If I didn't trust her, I wouldn't be with her. If my fiancée were to decide to cheat, leaving her at home during a show is not likely to prevent that. She just happens to be extremely strong-willed and scrappy redhead. She is not afraid to tell someone "no", and then follow up with a right hook if the message is not well received. Heck, I'd be more worried about her getting kicked out of the club for beating someone up.
Plus, it's kinda hot to see her get attention from other guys, knowing that she's going home with me.
Plus, it's kinda hot to see her get attention from other guys, knowing that she's going home with me.
- Aug 25, 2000
- 1,836
- 28
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- Endorsing Artist: Sadowsky Guitars
Pardon me for not reading this whole thread.
Just wanted to say this...no one can STEAL your girlfriend or wife.
Likewise...no one can LURE you away from your wife or girlfriend.
If you're worried about other guys hitting on the wife/girlfriend, then you don't trust her, and that's a problem.
If the wife/girlfriend insists on being at every gig, most likely she doesn't trust you, and that's a problem.
The ideal is that you will want her at every gig, and she won't want to be at every gig.
You dig?
Musicians have a harder time than most finding stable, trusting relationships, and that's too bad because it's hard for everyone.
Just wanted to say this...no one can STEAL your girlfriend or wife.
Likewise...no one can LURE you away from your wife or girlfriend.
If you're worried about other guys hitting on the wife/girlfriend, then you don't trust her, and that's a problem.
If the wife/girlfriend insists on being at every gig, most likely she doesn't trust you, and that's a problem.
The ideal is that you will want her at every gig, and she won't want to be at every gig.
You dig?
Musicians have a harder time than most finding stable, trusting relationships, and that's too bad because it's hard for everyone.
So ... how do you react when she isn't in view? Do you keep her in sight at all times? Can she fend for herself when she gets unwanted advances? How did she ever survive before she met you? I'm just sayin' ... it's not been discussed because for most of us it isn't an issue.
Several years ago a cute little thing walked up to me as we were setting & asked 'Is that hard?'
I looked at my wife w/a 'Can I bring her home?' look; she just laughed. We'd been through it long before.
At this point(15 years married, 8 years *dating*)neither of us get that kind of attention very often; when it does happen, we both laugh.
I looked at my wife w/a 'Can I bring her home?' look; she just laughed. We'd been through it long before.
At this point(15 years married, 8 years *dating*)neither of us get that kind of attention very often; when it does happen, we both laugh.
I think that the fact that you participating in setting the mood for the flirtation atmosphere is what makes this difficult for some. Its like you furnishing your own suffering which sucks.
+10
My girlfriend and I trust each other enormously. We don't worry about what the other is up to.
For example, she had a senior manager from my work crack onto her whilst she was drunk just before I got up to play. It didn't phase me one bit, we had a great gig. Afterwards I found her playing pool with him and thought it amusing. She informed me later that he hit on her a few times and she made ended up making some smart reply in front of others that totally shut him down (she has a clever mouth alright...) whilst they played pool. She thought it hilarious. I just wish I'd seen it.
I'd have to say in that situation I'd see it as a test of my professionalism as a performer. You see people on tv who's partner just died a week ago, or some other massive event and they carry on like normal. The show must go on after all...
