Pretty much a rant, but I have to get this off my chest. We're a 5 piece r&b cover band. Been together for around 6 months. Over the course of those 6 months we've been learning songs and having a good time, except every song that has made it to the set list has been one of our drummers suggestions. Not only do most of his suggestions suck (too obscure, not going to draw a young crowd), I see this as unfair to have to learn his songs every week. Every time me or one of my bandmates suggests a song it just gets lost into oblivion. This bothered me for a long time and I'm not the passive aggressive type. Today I proposed a more democratic system where everyone gets to have an input. The whole band agreed except for him. It's like he's some sort of control issue. Like he can't understand why we don't want to just play his songs anymore. He even stated that he is ok with the new system as long as the songs we pick are "classic funk and r&b" because "that's what he founded the band on". When I joined the band it was him and a guitar player. So I'd say we're all "founding" members. I told him there's plenty of funk bands out there that play songs outside their genre. Now he's punishing us by sitting out of rehearsal tomorrow saying he needs to think. I would have left a long time ago, but everybody else in the band is so talented. He's about to get booted from his own band just because he doesn't want to give up complete control.
Anyone else ever deal with this type of selfishness in a bandmate? Did you get rid of them or did they conform?
Just sounds to me like a basic disagreement of what music to play. Drummer wants old school, you all want to attract a younger crowd. Those things rarely mix. I don't quite see it as selfish, but more so that he simply doesn't like the songs you all are choosing. Care to give any examples of the types of songs he wants to play versus what you want included on the song list?