There may be some narcissism there, but I didn't find him to have an extreme case of it. I've worked with many narcissists before. In my professional studies I did a lot of research on the narcissistic personality disorder. And anyone who participates in social media will be targeted by a narcissist eventually. Social media makes it safer for narcissists to seek supply because they can be rude, insulting, and manipulative online, yet face few consequences other than moderation. Plus the ratio of effort to reward is very low for narcissists, so the internet is very fertile ground for people seeking narcissistic supply (negative emotional reactions from others). Narcissists can rile up a lot of people with very little effort on the Internet. Therfore, exposure to online narcissism also tends to accelerate and develop coping skills as empaths (the favorite source of supply for narcissists) become subject to people with narcissistic tendencies.
I also don't believe he had enough of the symptoms to be considered a narcissist. Granted, I'm not a mental health professional, but being highly aware of narcissists' behavior, having been subject to their quests for narcissistic supply, and having routinely dealt successfully with narcissists, I honestly don't think he has the full-blown disorder. I worked closely with him in multiple contexts, and he didn't have the required number of symptoms found in the DSM manual that mental health professionals use to diagnose the disorder.
I do think it might have been an experience thing though. NOT a generational thing! I'm not leveling this against the entire generation, but against his personal lack of experience. I remember how incredibly naive I have been in areas in which I have lacked experience.
As you get older and learn from your mistakes, judgment improves and you know when to go back to people for help and resources, and when it's not appropriate. In this case, he misjudged.
I also wonder if he felt guilty and wanted to know the extent to which his ghosting had affected our relationship. It may have been a test to see the impact. The new president of the student organization had sent out a newsletter shortly before he contacted me; perhaps it triggered his conscience as he was on the list as a member of the organization. Perhaps this was his way of bringing some closure to his ghosting, albeit in an indirect way. However, I speculate.
The fact is, and I keep repeating this, I was more interested in understanding the ghosting mentality than anything else. Seems to be a widespread problem from the sound of it, something that disturbs people who are subject to it, and it appears to be a mildly controversial topic.
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