How do yall deal with hate?

[MatticusMania]

It depends on the uglyness and if the story are interesting. I could envision a few kegs of microbrews if the different elements are there, but you'd be responsible to come pick them up. At which point you probably would never return because you just knocked up three uglies and the beer is that good here, we'd end up playing nintendo and drinking your kegs. (The girls are quite pretty here, it is a good plan, trust me.)

I'll be up soon. Let me go find some uglies...

 

[SquierJazz72]

Don't worry things will get more exciting. Someday when a crazy man shows up at your front door with a gun screaming about what you did to his girlfriend only you don't remember.

Never happened to me, but to a friend. He nailed some guy's daughter during one of the "extended parties" of our youth. Couple mornings later, crazy father with a gun and a grudge. While a couple of us went out to talk Daddy down a bit, a couple more shoved the kid out the back window and just said "Run!".

As to the OP, if you screwed up and you know it, as it now seems, if you apologized and tried to make amends, there is little else(outside of never doing it again) to be done. If other people won't accept it, it becomes their problem. However, modern social media does make it harder to getaway from, if people really want to persist.

 

[PJ Muzikmansky]

Have you considered praying about it?
God can move mountains.

Can she ?

Could you get in touch with her and ask her to come around to my joint. I've got a heap of yard work that needs doing

 

[PJ Muzikmansky]

Ignore it and move on is my short and simple answer.




For my long answer, you'll need to pull up a chair, this will be a bit long.

I got married in 1994. My wife and I had an okay marriage, normal bumps in the road, but I was committed to forever.

We both had high pressure corporate jobs and didn't spend the time that we should have together and we drifted apart. For this I deserve half the blame.

In 2008 I had my first stroke. My wife didn't bother to come to the hospital. Seriously, she didn't bother to come to the hospital until it was time to take me home. I was in several days. I realized that our marriage was a sham and moved out shortly after getting home.

We legally separated and began divorce proceedings. We had no children, only "stuff". I left with my music gear which at that time was one drum set and a PA system. I took my tools from the garage and my clothes. Although I wasn't set up immediately, she insisted that I take the family dog with me. I love our dog and was happy to take her, but I would have liked to have had a couple of days to sort out the arrangements for our dog. It worked out okay, but was a bit stressful.

After a few months of being separated, I began to date. I ended up meeting someone wonderful who I started a life with. Before I even started dating, the hate mail from the ex started. The things that she wrote were way over the top. I mean waaaaaay over the top. I didn't respond, not at all. My attorney (correctly) suggested that I hang on to all of these crazy letters, but that my ignoring them was indeed the correct path.

I had another stroke later that year. My sweetheart and I ended up downsizing and retired early, both of us did it together. This means that my income went way down and it happened in the middle of the divorce proceedings. If you think that the ex was mad before, wow. The letters continued and became borderline threatening.

When the divorce was final my sweetheart and I ended up moving to the city where I grew up. My ex who was also from this city moved here too. (Wonderful.) My sweetheart and I started rebuilding our lives here, bought a house together, renovated it on a budget and began to work on enjoying our life together.

Tragedy struck at the end of 2011. My 25 year old nephew whom I was very close to went missing. My niece and I became the family spokespeople and orchestrated a lot of media coverage to help find my nephew. This went on for seven weeks until his body was found in the river. It was the saddest day of my life.

During the period that my nephew was missing the letters from the ex started up again. Apparently, seeing me on the news regularly pleading for information regarding my missing family member fired her up again. (We did have about six months of peace before that.) The letters got weirder and weirder. After my nephew was found the letters tapered off again.

Through this whole time I never responded, not once. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't tempted a few times, but it was truly the right decision.

It bothers me sometimes to think that there is someone on this planet who has as deep of hatred toward me as she does. I wasn't perfect, but we were married for almost 14 years. I never cheated, I was always respectful, I wasn't an awful husband. I was a pretty good one actually.

What I figured out through this ordeal is that it's not my problem, it is hers. I moved on with my life and figured out how to be happy. I'm guessing that she never will and it is sad.

Anyway, ignore the hate and take stock of your own life. Looking forward beats the daylights out of looking back.

Mike...you sound like the sort of guy who's worth knowing. My deepest respect to you for the way you've handled a very difficult and stressful situation.