That doesn't work nowadays, not to call you old. But everybody is just a facebook stalk away. It is VERY hard to lie about dating someone now. The excuse of "they don't have a facebook" doesn't work either.... hahaha I've tried going this route.
Enjoy the benefits of a premium membership!
Upgrade Account
-
TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
Join free Log in
Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.
How do yall deal with hate?
- Thread starter Tommygunn
- Start date
That doesn't work nowadays, not to call you old. But everybody is just a facebook stalk away. It is VERY hard to lie about dating someone now. The excuse of "they don't have a facebook" doesn't work either.... hahaha I've tried going this route.
Quebec's microbreweries are quite something, just sayin'
My brother of 22 just had a kid. I don't think my mom would appreciate another grandchild. Plus, not to be shallow (although it very much is), I don't want to have to deal with an ugly baby momma the rest of my life... or an ugly kid!!!
My brother of 22 just had a kid. I don't think my mom would appreciate another grandchild. Plus, not to be shallow (although it very much is), I don't want to have to deal with an ugly baby momma the rest of my life... or an ugly kid!!!
But... beer.
Well, Ive been out of high school for 11 years. We had Myspace in my time.
Its easy enough to make a fake girlfriends profile.
Get creative, son.Hmm, you provide a compelling argument for your case. How much beer would you ship me if I knocked up 3 ugly girls?
Basically this. You f***** up, you know you did and seems like you know how and why. Now just make sure you don't do it. Don't try and manipulate anyone into or out of a relationship. Wanna get together? Say so. Wanna break up? Say so. Use them words. Makes life simple.
Also, you might want to get out of the mindset that "It wasn't that bad." cuz it'll have you doing the exact same thing again. "It wasn't that bad" can turn into "I didn't do anything wrong" real quick.
As far as the hate mail, can you block them somehow? Other than that you've just gotta do your best to ignore them. There' nothing they can do to change things now and it doesn't seem like there's anything you can say to them to change their minds.
slobake
resident ... something
Don't worry things will get more exciting. Someday when a crazy man shows up at your front door with a gun screaming about what you did to his girlfriend only you don't remember. You will recall these times fondly.
You want to taste them canadian brewskies young padawan.
It depends on the uglyness and if the story are interesting. I could envision a few kegs of microbrews if the different elements are there, but you'd be responsible to come pick them up. At which point you probably would never return because you just knocked up three uglies and the beer is that good here, we'd end up playing nintendo and drinking your kegs. (The girls are quite pretty here, it is a good plan, trust me.)
I've been drinking beer mainly lately. My scotch waits patiently.
I've been drinking beer mainly lately. My scotch waits patiently.
I just got my latest paycheck. Can't decide whether to treat myself
to my first 'good' whiskey or first craft beer.
As to the OP, honesty, communication and upfrontness usually avoids these sorts of situations. Avoiding her for a month and a half? More work than a 10 minute conversation.
I enjoy being young, 'tis a merry disaster
The answer is easy, both.
Both are an acquired taste imo. don't go all-in for your "first" of either. There's a pretty solid scotch thread somewhere with plenty of good "budget" scotch recommendations.
Been reading this with much amusement. It took a while, but I see everyone involved is in or close to HS.
Ok, you made a mistake. Fine. Listen up, young grasshopper.
Don't spend another SECOND worrying about this. Move on and don't respond.
If those girls are haters, at this point it's their problem. Embrace your inner A-hole and you'll discover over time that you will get more positive attention from other girls than not.
<Flame suit is on>
Ok, you made a mistake. Fine. Listen up, young grasshopper.
Don't spend another SECOND worrying about this. Move on and don't respond.
If those girls are haters, at this point it's their problem. Embrace your inner A-hole and you'll discover over time that you will get more positive attention from other girls than not.
<Flame suit is on>
Ignore it and move on is my short and simple answer.
For my long answer, you'll need to pull up a chair, this will be a bit long.
I got married in 1994. My wife and I had an okay marriage, normal bumps in the road, but I was committed to forever.
We both had high pressure corporate jobs and didn't spend the time that we should have together and we drifted apart. For this I deserve half the blame.
In 2008 I had my first stroke. My wife didn't bother to come to the hospital. Seriously, she didn't bother to come to the hospital until it was time to take me home. I was in several days. I realized that our marriage was a sham and moved out shortly after getting home.
We legally separated and began divorce proceedings. We had no children, only "stuff". I left with my music gear which at that time was one drum set and a PA system. I took my tools from the garage and my clothes. Although I wasn't set up immediately, she insisted that I take the family dog with me. I love our dog and was happy to take her, but I would have liked to have had a couple of days to sort out the arrangements for our dog. It worked out okay, but was a bit stressful.
After a few months of being separated, I began to date. I ended up meeting someone wonderful who I started a life with. Before I even started dating, the hate mail from the ex started. The things that she wrote were way over the top. I mean waaaaaay over the top. I didn't respond, not at all. My attorney (correctly) suggested that I hang on to all of these crazy letters, but that my ignoring them was indeed the correct path.
I had another stroke later that year. My sweetheart and I ended up downsizing and retired early, both of us did it together. This means that my income went way down and it happened in the middle of the divorce proceedings. If you think that the ex was mad before, wow. The letters continued and became borderline threatening.
When the divorce was final my sweetheart and I ended up moving to the city where I grew up. My ex who was also from this city moved here too. (Wonderful.) My sweetheart and I started rebuilding our lives here, bought a house together, renovated it on a budget and began to work on enjoying our life together.
Tragedy struck at the end of 2011. My 25 year old nephew whom I was very close to went missing. My niece and I became the family spokespeople and orchestrated a lot of media coverage to help find my nephew. This went on for seven weeks until his body was found in the river. It was the saddest day of my life.
During the period that my nephew was missing the letters from the ex started up again. Apparently, seeing me on the news regularly pleading for information regarding my missing family member fired her up again. (We did have about six months of peace before that.) The letters got weirder and weirder. After my nephew was found the letters tapered off again.
Through this whole time I never responded, not once. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't tempted a few times, but it was truly the right decision.
It bothers me sometimes to think that there is someone on this planet who has as deep of hatred toward me as she does. I wasn't perfect, but we were married for almost 14 years. I never cheated, I was always respectful, I wasn't an awful husband. I was a pretty good one actually.
What I figured out through this ordeal is that it's not my problem, it is hers. I moved on with my life and figured out how to be happy. I'm guessing that she never will and it is sad.
Anyway, ignore the hate and take stock of your own life. Looking forward beats the daylights out of looking back.
For my long answer, you'll need to pull up a chair, this will be a bit long.
I got married in 1994. My wife and I had an okay marriage, normal bumps in the road, but I was committed to forever.
We both had high pressure corporate jobs and didn't spend the time that we should have together and we drifted apart. For this I deserve half the blame.
In 2008 I had my first stroke. My wife didn't bother to come to the hospital. Seriously, she didn't bother to come to the hospital until it was time to take me home. I was in several days. I realized that our marriage was a sham and moved out shortly after getting home.
We legally separated and began divorce proceedings. We had no children, only "stuff". I left with my music gear which at that time was one drum set and a PA system. I took my tools from the garage and my clothes. Although I wasn't set up immediately, she insisted that I take the family dog with me. I love our dog and was happy to take her, but I would have liked to have had a couple of days to sort out the arrangements for our dog. It worked out okay, but was a bit stressful.
After a few months of being separated, I began to date. I ended up meeting someone wonderful who I started a life with. Before I even started dating, the hate mail from the ex started. The things that she wrote were way over the top. I mean waaaaaay over the top. I didn't respond, not at all. My attorney (correctly) suggested that I hang on to all of these crazy letters, but that my ignoring them was indeed the correct path.
I had another stroke later that year. My sweetheart and I ended up downsizing and retired early, both of us did it together. This means that my income went way down and it happened in the middle of the divorce proceedings. If you think that the ex was mad before, wow. The letters continued and became borderline threatening.
When the divorce was final my sweetheart and I ended up moving to the city where I grew up. My ex who was also from this city moved here too. (Wonderful.) My sweetheart and I started rebuilding our lives here, bought a house together, renovated it on a budget and began to work on enjoying our life together.
Tragedy struck at the end of 2011. My 25 year old nephew whom I was very close to went missing. My niece and I became the family spokespeople and orchestrated a lot of media coverage to help find my nephew. This went on for seven weeks until his body was found in the river. It was the saddest day of my life.
During the period that my nephew was missing the letters from the ex started up again. Apparently, seeing me on the news regularly pleading for information regarding my missing family member fired her up again. (We did have about six months of peace before that.) The letters got weirder and weirder. After my nephew was found the letters tapered off again.
Through this whole time I never responded, not once. I'd be lying if I said that I wasn't tempted a few times, but it was truly the right decision.
It bothers me sometimes to think that there is someone on this planet who has as deep of hatred toward me as she does. I wasn't perfect, but we were married for almost 14 years. I never cheated, I was always respectful, I wasn't an awful husband. I was a pretty good one actually.
What I figured out through this ordeal is that it's not my problem, it is hers. I moved on with my life and figured out how to be happy. I'm guessing that she never will and it is sad.
Anyway, ignore the hate and take stock of your own life. Looking forward beats the daylights out of looking back.
Take notes and learn young Tommygunn, that's a good example of what a beer story can look like.
Ain't that the truth!!! Oy.
So, OP, Ziltoid, Slobake, and drummer 5359 hopefully have given you some perspective on this whole matter. Lighten up. The real problems show up later in life, but you are also more prepared to handle them.
All these TB horror marraige/later life stories scare the **** outta me.
That's some damn terrifying 'perspective'
It's always better to tear the band-aid off in one go than a little bit at a time. But sounds like you've got that figured out now.
We all **** up from time to time. You said sorry and learned something. That's all you can do.
As for the hate-mail - scrape 'em off your shoes and keep on moving.
slobake
resident ... something
No worries the gun thing was when I was young, stupid and a practicing alcoholic. Things have been exciting for the last 32 years but in a good way. Well mostly anyway.
Meh. Calm down. Like I said, the problems get more serious/complicated as you get older. But there's a curve here. Your knowledge/experience/perspective usually far surpasses the rate of growth of complication and seriousness.
Back when I was in high school I got my heart broken by a girl. We had been dating a few months. I thought it was the end of the world. Fast forward a dozen or so years. My first wife had an affair with my drummer. I got over that pretty quick relatively speaking. But by then I had a better perspective. Rather than thinking what my wife had done was the end of the world, I thought "I'm not letting her take me down with her. I'm moving on." I went on to meet my soul mate and I couldn't be happier than I am today. Perspective.
The day after the breakup in high school, I briefly contemplated suicide. The day after I busted my first wife cheating on me, I started looking for a new house and went to a Bad Company/Styx concert.
