How do you escape "small town" USA?

[powderfinger]

I do have a cant attitude.

I am negative.

I am depressed. Im hurting really badly.

I dont feel good about myself. Im not proud of where I am.

I just dont know that this thread was a good idea. Ill digest all the ideas. Ive just lost all of my confidence, and I dont feel right anymore. I dont feel good.

 

[macaroni tony]

I do have a cant attitude.

I am negative.

I am depressed. Im hurting really badly.

I dont feel good about myself. Im not proud of where I am.

I just dont know that this thread was a good idea. Ill digest all the ideas. Ive just lost all of my confidence, and I dont feel right anymore. I dont feel good.

Good idea broham. Digest all of the ideas. If you can see past the perceived insult, there are tons of good suggestions here. TBH, if you really want to get out of your funk, pack your stuff and go the best way you can, as soon as you can. You'll be struggling, but at least you'll be on your own and in a new world.

 

[MJ5150]

You question *my* attitude? Have you read some of the other posts? Oh wait.... no, you're all too busy trying to outdo eachother and make the wittiest, most flippant comments possible toward me...

Slow down bro. The majority of guys posting in here are longtime TB members who are trying to help. None of us are being flippant or trying to show you disrespect that I can tell. Let me explain how I arrived at my comment about living in a car.

You: Broke now, borrowing money from parents to survive, unable to save money, wants to go live somewhere better.

So I surmised from that info that you should go ahead and move somewhere and be all of those things in a city you like better, and it may involve you having to live in your car until your situation improves in the new city.

-Mike

 

[HEIST]

If I can save while making less than $17,000 a year, so can you! And I live in Vancouver! The cost of living here is crazy! I really do think getting a cheaper vehicle or getting rid of it once and for all is a good idea. We got our Astro van for $1500 off Craigslist and it runs like a monster, but before that we used public transit for the past 10 years and rode our bikes. What other monthly payments do you have now that you rid yourself of your gym membership etc.? Is your phone bill under $50 (if not, change it so it's not over $50).

Some of the things my parents did to save up for their big move (with everyone around them laughing at them and telling them they can't do it, yes including family) is NEVER eat out. My parents have not ate at a fast food joint or restaurant or ordered food in 14 years. Buy produce and cook it yourself. They do not own cell phones, they have a land line. They do not buy new clothing. They wear what they own, and most are falling apart. They leave a couple shirts in their closet that are in good condition for job interviews etc. My dad has one pair of shoes that he worn for 10 years until I bought him a new pair. They don't drink or smoke or do any drugs. They don't have TV, and every single kitchen item are bought at garage sales for $5 and under. Pots, plates, mugs etc.

It's possible, but you have to look at where your money is going if you aren't saving any. Good luck!

EDITTED TO ADD// Do you know what we used as a dinner table for the first 2 months after we arrived in Canada? A cardboard box. We'd have to tape it often to reinforce it. Yogurt containers became our drinking cups.

 

[MJ5150]

That is a nice story HEIST, but that is no way to live.

-Mike

 

[HEIST]

But it sure will make what you want happen! My parents now own their house and van outright and has no more debt.

EDIT//Sorry, not the Astro van I talked about earlier, but a new Toyota Sienna.

 

[MJ5150]

Oh OK, I thought they were still living like that. My bad.

-Mike

 

[Skitch it!]

I do have a cant attitude.

I am negative.

I am depressed. Im hurting really badly.

I dont feel good about myself. Im not proud of where I am.

I just dont know that this thread was a good idea. Ill digest all the ideas. Ive just lost all of my confidence, and I dont feel right anymore. I dont feel good.

Easy tiger, it's difficult to garner any kind of optimism or direction feeling stuck in that *frame*, one step at a time but collectedly, if that takes time then so it does.

 

[Evil Undead]

Just read the entire thread through.

Powderfinger. From a completely outside point of view here, having only just joined the discussion, I do think in all honesty that some of your anger and attacks towards those who attempted to help you were very unnecessary. I didn't see anything but good advice and opinions, and home truths from well-wishers - until, that is, you started to snap at those posters and it turned a bit ugly in places.

I understand that you feel frustrated and depressed because of your situation, and it's likely that this has led you to feel victimised, although I'm certain that wasn't what was happening. Also there's a lot of anxiety apparent on your side. I understand all of that as I've been in some really dark places in my life.

If I were you, I would take this advice - the first step for you is to seek some therapy of some kind, whether that be face to face, online, phone, whatever. Even something so small as to start a journal containing absolutely every thought that goes through your mind. It's a good way to organise your thought processes and see exactly what it is that scares/frustrates you the most. You would be surprised at how something so small can be a massive boost to ones self-esteem and start building the confidence to take the next steps.

If you want to leave badly enough, you will find a way to make it happen. But you have to do some soul searching first, and be prepared to take the advice of others without lashing out - they're only trying to help you. If you're anything like i used to be, which i bet you are, you don't have the self confidence to believe that anyone would want to help you.

 

[ShredderMaximus]

I do have a cant attitude.

I am negative.

I am depressed. Im hurting really badly.

I dont feel good about myself. Im not proud of where I am.

I just dont know that this thread was a good idea. Ill digest all the ideas. Ive just lost all of my confidence, and I dont feel right anymore. I dont feel good.

You've pretty much been given all your options, and a few "don't even tries," take this as a chance to prove everyone wrong and shove it back in our faces!

 

[beggar98]

This whole thread kind of reminds me of basic physics: an object at rest will remain at rest until acted upon by an outside force. Basically, you'll stay where you are unless/until your hatred for that place becomes greater than your fear/doubts over relocating. Only when that happens will you seriously attack all of the problems you laid out throughout the thread.

I asked earlier what kind of work you do, but you never answered. Its very possible that someone here on TB could help you career-wise. Also, what kind of music do you play and how good are you? There are some towns (Austin being one, New Orleans another) where there are a ton of gigs and if you're even a decent bass player you can get work.

 

[Pilgrim]

I do have a cant attitude.

I am negative.

I am depressed. Im hurting really badly.

I dont feel good about myself. Im not proud of where I am.

I just dont know that this thread was a good idea. Ill digest all the ideas. Ive just lost all of my confidence, and I dont feel right anymore. I dont feel good.

That's pretty clear from the thread, but at least you are now admitting it.

Get some help - go to public agencies and get counseling for depression. Then get ANY job, even if it means learning the phrase "would you like fries with that?"

This thread is at least 6 pages too long because you have spent so much time telling everyone what you can't do. Go DO something.

 

[bolophonic]

I would just save up a little dough and move to a small city. When I finished college, I threw everything I owned into a hatchback and drove to Chicago. I didn't know a soul there and had never even been there before, but I lived out of my car until I found a job and a place to live. I would never again move to a giant city like that. Finding a manageable city is the way to go... cheap and easy. Surely you must know someone who left for greener pastures?