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How many bands before you found one you could stay with ?

I think one big thing that's always helped me is that I focused more finding people to play with one musician at a time instead of looking for a full band that's the right fit. Find that one person you really connect with. Doesn't matter if it's a drummer, guitarist, or singer. For me it happened to be a guitarist. Get a band together even if the rest of the band isn't super talented or the best fit and start playing some shows. Do what you need to do, play well onstage, be friendly with everyone, and as other bands break up the better musicians from those bands will be looking for a good situation to step into. That's how my main project that has lasted over 2 decades now really got together. I think too many people hold out for the perfect band situation that they prevent themselves from getting a lineup together the way we did where it was always me and the same guitar player and the drummer and the singer came from other bands to form a sort of all star local band kind of project. Which I know local all star seems a bit silly but I'm sure someone understands what I mean.
 
My wife keeps a list of all the "bands" I've been in since I started playing about 12 or 13 years ago. It's up in the high teens now I think. I usually try to be involved in more than one music project at a time precisely because they are such fragile things that fall apart so easily. I've had some that only lasted three or four rehearsals before I realized it wasn't going anywhere or wasn't worth the drama. Others... well, others I'm still in.

At this point really it's not "a band," it's a little cluster of maybe a dozen musicians I know and trust who play together in different combinations under different names. Mugshot Monday's guitarist also plays with Granite State Rhythm and, more recently, will be playing with Blues Brothers: TNG. MM's singer is also GSR's first singer, who got fired when we decided to move in a more funk direction whereas she's really a rocker and didn't want to do that. And so on. I like it this way, there's always some people to play with and someone booking a gig.
 
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Only been gigging for a little over 4 years now, so not a lot of track record. Have been a member of 4 gigging bands, subbed with a couple others and had several other projects that just couldn't get out of the garage.

It's a frustrating game, but as a cover band artist, it can be good to rotate bands every couple of years. It's not like I'm playing with the Beatles and need to keep a consistent lineup for all my adoring fans. Every group I play with brings me new insight on something whether it be musical or band politics.

In some cases it pays to be a little patient and try to work things out; other times it's best to just walk. But I can't stress enough how important it is to do it with honor: "Guys, this isn't working for me, so time to move on. Good luck!"

I've had a previous BL hook me up a gig with another band when his had to back out. This wouldn't have happened if I'd have left in a disrespectful manner. The other guys may decide to boot the drummer and try to pour something else together.

There are many other reasons to not just ghost them, especially over one guy. Your reputation is huge.
 
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I had good luck when I was younger and typically stuck with most bands I got involved with. As I've gotten older, it has gotten tougher. Folks now have careers, family dynamics, commutes, and other things that out prioritize the band - myself included.

I think the biggest obstacle and road block for me has been joining bands that aren't already established. As someone who has a sizable repertoire and can learn quickly, I get bored when a band either can't keep up, can't bring the goods, or simply can't get out of the basement. I've been in a few different bands over the years that fell into one bucket or another. Unfortunately, I just don't think I have the patience for it anymore when so many other things in life are a higher priority.
 
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it took me years lol
it's even harder I think when it's an originals band.

Usually what would happen is I'd join a band then it would immediately fall apart. I was thinking it was me but it's mostly just luck. The band I'm in now is great and I love the dudes I'm in a band with. Just a bunch of bros rippin off Soundgarden, it's fun as hell.
 
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Zero. I was lucky. I played an open mic for about a year with a group of friends who would back all comers and issue a recording of the performance on the following week's show. A local band stopped in and chose to use an hour of the forum as an impromptu rehearsal...minus a bassist. I was asked to step in and cover. I didn't know the songs on the bass, but was familiar enough with the music to pound something out that seemed appropriate. They hired me after the rehearsal and I was on stage with them inside of a couple of weeks. I never did end up learning the "right" bass parts and that seemed to make them happy. They were about sick of the repetition and like the alterna-tune jam angles that I was able to come up with on the fly and having bass parts tailored to each guitarists flow any given night. I've been lucky in general.
 
I've been in three bands that actually gigged, and a couple of "Let's get together and see what happens" that didn't happen. The current gang includes the singer/harp player from the first band in the late eighties, and one of my heroes, who has become like a brother to me. We rag about the guy who couldn't make it that evening, but wouldn't consider letting anyone go. I'd do anything for any of the members and feel that they would do the same for me. We ain't perfect but we are like a family. Went through quite a few people to come up with this team (guitar players), but I bet this thing lasts til one or more of us passes on to the next world.
 
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A band is a job. It's packing your stuff and going to work. There will be drama. There will be stupidity. There will be leaders and followers. There will be politics. There will be all the crap that goes along with any other job. That's just how it is. I don't know why people expect it to be different.

The key is balance. Yes, it's a job. It's also playing music, so it still has to be fun or it's not worth it. I have to work. I have bills to pay. Music is my job. That said, if it isn't fun, I might as well just go work in an office, or restaurant, or retail or something. I chose this job because I can make money, and still have fun all the time. With people I truly treasure and enjoy being around.

Once again though, it's still a job. If it sucks, you quit and get another one. Or it goes out of business. And you don't lose any sleep over it.

Its been 35 years for me this coming May. I think at this point it might be easier to list the bands I haven't been in. :roflmao:
 
I don't join bands anymore... when I was young I would play in any number of configurations and they would come and go.

In late 2001 or early 2002, I first met what I would call a "professional musician."
Contracts were negotiated, pay was discussed, expectations were outlined, it was all put into writing, and signed - and that was it.

It was through this connection that I eventually got into recording and studio work.
Hence, I don't even try to join bands anymore.

I realize that this isn't the path for everyone, I am just giving you a different perspective.
Playing music should be fun - that's why it's called "playing."
Crazy, chaotic, or angry situations are not "fun."
I would rather be in a professional environment where I have reliable peers and we can enjoy playing music with other musicians who are there to play at the top of their game.

Last time I was in a band playing gigs was my friend's band... That being said...
They were professionals, there was a contract, there was a tour, they needed a fill in for 8 months - That was how it played out.
At the end, I did "more" than was in the contract for them - because it was my friend - but I never did "less."

All ended well, he's still my friend... It was an experience we both reflect on fondly.
Life is good.
 
The good news: 2 bands in the last 20 years, gigging regularly, with about a 2 month gap between them. Got recommended for the first one, and then when that died, I replied to 2 ads, went to 1 audition and was back up and running. Easy.

Lets not talk about the years before that... Too many bands to count. So many projects that ran for between a month and a couple of years. Many never gigged. None gigged regularly.

I don' think my expierince is atypical, though I have been lucky. It takes everything to align to make a band work, and they fail more often than not. As I got older/more experience it was easier as the people I was working with just wanted to get out and play, and knew how to do that. They were groups of similar minded and experienced players who expected to spend a couple of months putting something together, then get out and pick up paying gigs.

In my (failed) earlier projects there was always someone who wanted to be a rock star, thought they were special/talented and the world just needed to hear their artistry... They were wrong... There's also an expectation in younger bands that the band somehow this brotherhood/one for all thing. My bandmates are my friends, but they're the friends I do band stuff with. That friendship is based on "turn up Saturday night, soundcheck at 7, be ready to play", rather than some profound kinship.
 
Like many, I've been in quite a few band/projects. Three years appears to be the point when I need to make a change. Even if the band is really good and booking shows, I get bored doing the same thing to long. On the flip side, you kind of know quick when something will not work. In those cases I'm out in one or two rehearsals.
 
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I'm a late bass bloomer, didn't really get good enough for paid public performances until my mid-to-late-twenties, and I luckily stumbled in ass-backwards with one of the more established, professional, and popular bands in town after my first ever audition. I guess I over-prepped, knew the material like the back of my hand, and the confidence showed, because they had already given another candidate hope that he was in, and they actually called him after my audition to deliver the bad news. The entertainer bug bit me hard and I soaked it up for a few years. Those positive experiences never leave, and I'm always trying to replicate them.

But since that beginner's luck, it has been a real roller coaster ride for over 40 years, and I've only re-created that success once or twice again. Especially when it doesn't pay rent or a put shoes on their kids' feet, so many musicians have so many different goals and are rewarded so differently, it's really hard to find three or more people who take the same approach and apply the same standards to the myriad facets of being a member of a band and the entertainment industry. So many would love to be loved by patrons/guests/clients, get tighter than bark on a log, look great/sound great, get the better bookings for the better money, have an endless circuit of repeat clients and bookings, etc., and they envy bands that accomplish all that and more. But, even on the local weekend warrior cover band level, so few can or want to commit and make the sacrifices needed.

If you're like me, you put your ass out there in front of a room full of strangers and are charged with bringing the entertainment and winning hearts and minds, and you prep accordingly. A win means more than just pulling it off without too much embarrassment, a win means crushing it. But I've been told by other musicians I take it too seriously so many times, with so much resulting animosity and division. You search and search for others who are like-minded, and you meet a lot of posers who feign excitement at first but eventually display their ambivalence (or worse). It gets very disheartening.
 
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How many attempts/ rock bands did it take before you found one you didn't walk away from ? I'm playing with this band about 2 months and last practice the drummer ( whose has the practice space and put this "secondary" band together) pulls some kind of dramatic dick move on me.

The next day I email him, say I know something was up with you last night, I need to know now if there's anything I did to bring that on.

He replies with an apology, says he's tired and grumpy, it's NOTHING I did or do, will try harder, he's sorry, he can't help it. He said he can't cover up his "grumpiness" at issues having nothing to do with me. This is the first time I've witnessed him act this way towards anyone. But it was me.

OK great intentions and words bud, but you just told me this won't be the last time. It wasn't directed at anyone else just me and was totally uncalled for.

These guys are awesome. We were rocking it, I learned some great songs, our practices sounded great. The drummer said later that night that he'd play out as a favor to me/ (the rest ?), but he didn't care. He has a primary band and said he started this one because one of our guitarists got kicked out of the primary band and he felt bad.

Also said their last bassist quit because his kids started playing soccer. OK.

Saturday I drove the 45 minutes and told him I needed my cab for a buddy that needed it that night.

I'm not planning on showing for the next practice. I'm pissed but experience says just walk now it won't get better. It's not the first time I've gone through this, it's pretty much a 3 year pattern so yeah maybe it's me but I can't for the life of me figure out what, unless it's just me being too nice or pleasant. I've posted stuff like this before. I'm playing fine, I'm showing up on time, I'm practicing and learning the songs. These guys have said multiple times they know it takes time to gel. I'm done. Like I said I'm pissed and sad, but I'm not going to be able to chill and play my best knowing one person thinks it's OK to just go off.
I've been in a lot of bands over the years and the words from Del Paxton in the movie "That Thing You Do" make more sense to me all the time..."ain't no way to keep a band together. Bands come and go. You got to keep on playin' no matter with who.

I wouldn't drive 45 minutes for rehearsals unless the band was playing a lot of good paying gigs. YMMV
 
Musical chemistry and guys not being idiots.
I'll stick around if the band is great and until one fault supercedes this.

If someone is reallt exceptional but swims in our pool, its just a question of time until you find out why. Then, can you reconcile that.

I dont have to be best buddies, but they need musical skills and people skills and I have to like them from 'ok' upwards.
Good music cant be hard hard work.
 
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