If I see an instrument leaning on an amp, I assume they are a pair. He gave you that guitar, it's yours to do with as you please. I'd give it to an audience member.
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How rude (or not) is this?
- Thread starter Steve
- Start date
I wouldn't say a word, but he'd have a hell of a time finding his guitar case when he came back.
Dude was a d*ck, but you got unfriended (and I'm assuming kicked out of the band) for getting mad at him?
Yeah - That's pretty stupid, really. Who the F cares? The instrument IN THE CASE got moved a couple of feet. Whatev. If that's how people react, then let them. Do you need those kind of folks in your life and music anyway?
I would first just tell the guy, hey man I wont be able to put my stuff down, maybe can we move that to the side. From there I would just see what he says. Maybe he had a bad eye and couldnt see fully straight. If he was rude I'd tell him I'd end his life if he dared cross me again. If he was polite I would most likely buy him a beer (or if I was currently playing onstage call a waitress to buy us 2 shots of some sort of hard liquor)
That's basically how I would have handled it
That's basically how I would have handled it
I think that the obvious proper solution would have been to mark your territory by peeing on his case.
Really though, to just shove your stuff up into someone's space while they're trying to play is just rude. I'm not that old and I would agree with you that civility is all but dead.
pee IN the case !
Well if I'm playing while he is putting the guitar there he doesn't have much chance to get my OK without interrupting me, and its just a case on a stand, so I can't necessarily blame him for that.
When I was new to gigging, I wasn't always aware what was happening around me, or why. Sometimes I was shy to ask or just assumed something was OK, or I didn't recognise my bands gear and left it in the wrong loadout dock etc etc. And as a result sometimes I stepped on people's toes, sometimes without realising it.
Im glad most of those people took the time to help me out instead of threaten me or my gear in some way, and without stealing anything of mine.
Oh, and I'd have just moved his case out of the way. It should be pretty obvious why it was when he sees my bass back on the stand, and I'd have put it somewhere safe, like I'd want someone to do for me.
This is a conspiracy. IT was the other bass player marking HIS new territory. It was all a setup. You are out and the new guys is replacing you. Defriending you, by the singer, was just the beginning of the end. He planned it all. Find a new gig .. you'll need one
Thanks for all the responses. I usually don't feel much of a need for my behavior or feelings to be validated but, the reality check is a nice thing from time to time.
I'll try to clarify the situation and tie up the loose ends.
I don't "know" the guy. Nobody in the band really does. It's a small town. He's a local player. We all kinda know each other but by that I mean, we know his name, we know his bands and body of work but beyond that, none of us has ever worked with him, nobody goes over to his house on Sunday afternoon, there's no social interaction. I got a friend request from him at some point (I don't pay much attention to facebook) he's a networker doing his networking thing.
The face book messageing and unfriending was by the guy, not by anyone in my band. My band is cool. We've all known each other for 25+ years. None of us are going anywhere. We accept each other's faults. That plus...none of us have anywhere else to go. None of us want to. It's the last full time house gig left outside of MAJOR market towns.
I don't know for sure but. I assume the guy was getting off work himself and stopped by my gig for a drink. He may have been on foot, he may just not have wanted to leave his instrument in his car, he may have hoped to be asked to sit in a little.
We run a fairly open stage and sit in's are not at all uncommon although, I don't recall him ever being one of them. In any event, he walked in off the street with the case then wanted someplace to stash the thing while he was there.
There was no discussion prior to the case getting tossed on stage. The set was going the song was going nobody was going to stop the song. We played that song then one more, then it was break time and I needed my stand and place to put my bass but his stuff was in the way. I could have moved it. Maybe I should have moved it. I however was taught to not touch another players gear without permission. NOT EVER.
If I have to do a load in and the stage is active, I won't start until it's a set break or the person on stage tells me it's OK to cause a distraction in the room. It's just how I was taught that musiciand show a little courtesy to each other. Lord knows nobody else will.
I thought it was a little rude but I didn't get all over him about it. I called him over to the stage. We were on opposite corners of the bar so, that was a little loud but it ain't like I was screaming at him. When he got to the stage I said, "Dude, whats up with this, you think it's cool to just throw your stuff up here without asking so it's in my way and I can't get to my stand?
That's when he said the door guy told him to do it, (which the door guy flatly denies saying. I believe him.) he snatched his stuff offstage, called me some derogatory thing which I can't even remember and stormed out. Then the facebook BS.
Thanks again.
I'll try to clarify the situation and tie up the loose ends.
I don't "know" the guy. Nobody in the band really does. It's a small town. He's a local player. We all kinda know each other but by that I mean, we know his name, we know his bands and body of work but beyond that, none of us has ever worked with him, nobody goes over to his house on Sunday afternoon, there's no social interaction. I got a friend request from him at some point (I don't pay much attention to facebook) he's a networker doing his networking thing.
The face book messageing and unfriending was by the guy, not by anyone in my band. My band is cool. We've all known each other for 25+ years. None of us are going anywhere. We accept each other's faults. That plus...none of us have anywhere else to go. None of us want to. It's the last full time house gig left outside of MAJOR market towns.
I don't know for sure but. I assume the guy was getting off work himself and stopped by my gig for a drink. He may have been on foot, he may just not have wanted to leave his instrument in his car, he may have hoped to be asked to sit in a little.
We run a fairly open stage and sit in's are not at all uncommon although, I don't recall him ever being one of them. In any event, he walked in off the street with the case then wanted someplace to stash the thing while he was there.
There was no discussion prior to the case getting tossed on stage. The set was going the song was going nobody was going to stop the song. We played that song then one more, then it was break time and I needed my stand and place to put my bass but his stuff was in the way. I could have moved it. Maybe I should have moved it. I however was taught to not touch another players gear without permission. NOT EVER.
If I have to do a load in and the stage is active, I won't start until it's a set break or the person on stage tells me it's OK to cause a distraction in the room. It's just how I was taught that musiciand show a little courtesy to each other. Lord knows nobody else will.
I thought it was a little rude but I didn't get all over him about it. I called him over to the stage. We were on opposite corners of the bar so, that was a little loud but it ain't like I was screaming at him. When he got to the stage I said, "Dude, whats up with this, you think it's cool to just throw your stuff up here without asking so it's in my way and I can't get to my stand?
That's when he said the door guy told him to do it, (which the door guy flatly denies saying. I believe him.) he snatched his stuff offstage, called me some derogatory thing which I can't even remember and stormed out. Then the facebook BS.
Thanks again.
Sorry Mike. I did feel kinda bad about letting you down. I live in "The Nations Oldest City" founded in 1565 and it's STILL a small town. Not much happens here cool ,exciting or otherwise.
Sounds like this might have been the biggest action in town for a while.
The guy was inconsiderate and then rude to boot. There, you are validated.
You owe me a beer.
The guy was inconsiderate and then rude to boot. There, you are validated.
You owe me a beer.
I disagree a little.
Thoughtless is when you forget to put pants on before leaving the house.
Treating other people and their possessions thoughtlessly is rude.
When your gear is on a band stand or stage the area is YOURS!! No one comes on without invitation and you need to have these rules in place with your partners or sub contractors or whatever role the players play. No one comes on my stand other than the guy with the pay, thats it!! I've taken a few folks OUT who have been drunk, rude, "big star" ego BS and everything else. I look at it just as my home and I mean what I'm saying 100%. No one should invade anyones band stand with gear or anything else the ultimate insult to your domain. The old mic stand cylinders hurt big time in the shins and a head stock in between the eyes smarts a little just before the real **** hits the fan hahahaha!!! Its been about 15 years that I can remember the last time but the same ol' lesson was learned. Hey thanks, that felt good! Doc
There's an exception to every rule, and that was it. You should have moved it to some place where it was very hard to find. When he placed it on your stage, he put you in charge of it.
I have to agree with you here, Munji. From a communication standpoint, the guy was basically saying, "This is my stage," when he waltzed up there and put his gear down on other people's stuff. It was nothing more than a power move. While the ownership of the stage is a very temporal thing, when you're setting up to gig, it is indeed your stage. Otherwise, stay off or ask for permission to use the space. This guy didn't do that, so he has it coming, whatever happens.
Not that I endorse being rude in return, but you definitely have the right to remove anything form the stage that is not your gear or the venue's gear.
I would have moved it, then called him over and said 'Dude, I moved your stuff cause it was in my way.'
