How To Blow Your Audition

[MultiScaleMale]

Use a pic from 20 years ago as your Facebook profile pic.

 

[RGerhart]

Use a pic from 20 years ago as your Facebook profile pic.

Are we talking about the same kind of audition?

 

[MultiScaleMale]

Are we talking about the same kind of audition?

Ha!

 

[Killing Floor]

I once had a keyboard player audition and we did a quick 12 bar kinda stretch/warmup with all of us and he excused himself and came back inside with another dude carrying a saxophone. Never even got to any of the songs we gave him to learn. “This is Louie, he wants to be in the band too”.

 

[Just go for it]

Slap the bass so hard and fast that it sounds like you're in a competition to break strings. Remember, subtlety is for losers.

 

[dalkowski]

Show up drunk or stoned.

 

[Pings Bass]

My last blown audition was on congas for a Latin band. I think my weakness on guaguanco was my downfall, after spending my time figuring out how to play their tejano-heavy set. (Ironic since I'm much more familiar with Afro-Cuban styles in general.)

TL;DR: I wasn't good enough

 

[jnuts1]

This can also get you fired after you've been a member for years.

that's why i ask that question

 

[RGerhart]

I once had a keyboard player audition and we did a quick 12 bar kinda stretch/warmup with all of us and he excused himself and came back inside with another dude carrying a saxophone. Never even got to any of the songs we gave him to learn. “This is Louie, he wants to be in the band too”.

Wow, that's a new one to me. I think I would be so dumbfounded at this offense I wouldn't even know what to say.

 

[KevInDaBassment]

View attachment 5237278

What the comic doesn't tell you, is they actually passed on him for slapping on a P-bass

 

[bcbassman]

I ask about pay and music at auditions. It is a two way street. I am not going to waste my time on a band that practices 4 times a month and has no gigs. I have been playing too long for that.

 

[Killing Floor]

Wow, that's a new one to me. I think I would be so dumbfounded at this offense I wouldn't even know what to say.

We just packed up our guitars and left them in our rental studio. The sax guy actually played for a couple minutes before they left. Then we went back in the door and played a while.

don’t get me wrong, I like a sax just fine but don’t bring a friend to an audition.

 

[40Hz]

It confuses me that people think asking about pay is call to lose an audition. Hell, I'm not prepping a damn thing until I know if we are on the same page regarding money.

Consider that from the band’s perspective they’re not going to even going to get into discussing money before you convince them you can do the job. You don’t want to waste your time. But neither do they. (See previous comments in earlier posts about ego. )

FWIW, I never once ran into anyone who put the money question up front and didn’t turn out to be a major PITA down the road. Nobody admires a mercenary - or hires one if there’s an alternative. Just sayin’

 

[brianrost]

on’t get me wrong, I like a sax just fine but don’t bring a friend to an audition.

While in a country band 40 years ago, we were auditioning a new guitarist and he showed up with a friend. One guy had this beautiful Les Paul with vine inlay on the neck, the other guy had a totally beat up Danelectro. They both played. The guy with the Danelectro was smoking, the other guy couldn’t play his way out of a paper bag.

Turned out the guy with the Dano was the friend. Oh well...

 

[brianrost]

Consider that from the band’s perspective they’re not going to even going to get into discussing money before you convince them you can do the job.

I just want to know if there are gigs on the books as opposed to looking forward to a year or two holed up in a basement before the band breaks up

 

[Kael]

Consider that from the band’s perspective they’re not going to even going to get into discussing money before you convince them you can do the job. You don’t want to waste your time. But neither do they. (See previous comments in earlier posts about ego. )

FWIW, I never once ran into anyone who put the money question up front and didn’t turn out to be a major PITA down the road. Nobody admires a mercenary - or hires one if there’s an alternative. Just sayin’

I've never once encountered an act where asking how they handle finances, how frequently they are playing out, markets being booked in, etc was a problem being asked about upfront that wasn't a hobby/ego stroking act. You do you.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Blown audition, mutual version:

Me - What's the pay?
BL - Can't pay as much as you probably usually get.
Me - What's the pay?
BL - Depends
Me - Pass
BL - You obviously don't want to work.
Me - Your partly right; I don't want to work with you.

 

[Pocket Dave]

Bravo. Great that you can play by ear. Know what? I'd be more impressed if you actually did your homework.

The other red flags like weird personalities; tardiness; faulty equipment; bad attitudes; egos; etc, I can usually live with if they just show up and know the tunes.

As for me, I've auditioned for plenty of bands, too. I've had success in most, and all I do is show up on time; have the tunes prepared; have the right equipment; and have a good attitude. That's it.

Shocking how simple this is.

If I'm ever auditioning players again, I'm adding an option. "Here are 4 tunes you must have down for the audition. For the 5th song that you'll also need to know, you can choose 1 from this list of 3."

If they show up with all 5 down, great. If they then say, "I went ahead and learned the other 2 in case you want to run through them too", we've got a winner.

 

[whatever4]

It confuses me that people think asking about pay is call to lose an audition. Hell, I'm not prepping a damn thing until I know if we are on the same page regarding money. I know a few acts that like to sink all their pay "back into the band". In my experience that is code for band leader takes all the pay. If we are not on the same page about money then charting your music, listening or even reading your set list is a waste of my time.

I agree. I just turned down a band because they wanted all the gig proceeds invested in gear that I wouldn't own.

 

[David McIntire]

Not asking what you need to prepare musically and what sort of gear you will need for the audition.

One thing, just because I show up to audition does not mean I’ll take the gig if offered. Pay, amount of gigs, rehearsal schedule, general work load, as well as the quality of the product all work into the equation. It’s better to have this ironed out before agreeing to sign on.

Agreed. An audition goes both ways...