How To Blow Your Audition

[40Hz]

and this is how you get good players to not play with you.

I don’t think that’s necessarily a universal truth.

when i see no jobbers, we invest gig money in gear or we are going to be stars i just run as fast as possible. just give me the info up front. if i get a call about a gig the first thing is pay and expectations.

Once again, we can only be guided by our own personal experiences over the years. My opinion is based solely on my own. And your litany of red flags was never something my bands said or did. But I never believed in starting any endeavor on a shoestring and a prayer. Those legendary days of bootstrapping a band were pretty much over by the late 70s. The bands I was involved with were joint ventures run according to a plan and already had the gear and financial details worked out before we even thought of hitting the road.

Our failures were due to a lack of a sufficient enough audience for the music we were playing. It wasn’t because we didn’t have the personnel, the gear or enough of an initial capital investment. This is the thing that really kills most businesses - lack of sales. It’s no different for a band if it isn’t a hobby. Eventually you cut your losses and either abandon the attempt or regroup and try again.

 

[pcake]

one singer showed up almost 2 hours late to tell us she had to go to the movies with friends (who came into the rehearsal space with her), and could we reschedule her for another week. when i asked, she hadn't learned any of the 5 songs we sent her two weeks before; in fact, she said she hadn't listened to them at all.

we obviously passed, and i was surprised to get several emails from her begging us to please give her another chance.

 

[Andy Marshman]

My story is about a guitarist audition. The guy shows up barefoot (not a big deal but you know - first impressions), he had a Fender Ultimate Chorus amp 2x12 AND a large pedal board. His personal tone is max chorus on the amp with max chorus on the floorboard. It's the worst sound I've ever heard in my life. Couldn't wait for that to be over. Didn't matter if he could play or not; I never want to hear that again.

 

[dbsfgyd1]

This is a great point. How the band can blow the audition for me:

Don't have answers for the above points as well as:

• Tell me the song I need to learn but don't bother telling me you play it in a different key or worse - don't know what key you play it in at all.
• I show up on time and the band rolls in one at a time over the next 30 minutes.
• Have a bad drummer or off-key singer.
• Act like I just committed a felony when I tell you I scheduled other auditions and will get back to you.
• As I'm setting up my gear, current band member takes a giant bong rip like he's still in college.
  
  Not a complete list.

Ah yup!

 

[HolmeBass]

Show up drunk or stoned.

Why not both?

 

[DWBass]

I don't audition anymore. Anyone who calls me already knows my work.

Bands that fail MY audition......did not hear from them after several days of them contacting me. Did not promptly supply me with a set or songlist after asking for one. Get to rehearsal spot and find out several cats can't make it. Not knowing the songs THEY gave me to learn. Endless rehearsing with no gigs in sight!

Buh Bye!!

 

[Hasty]

Are we talking about the same kind of audition?

#Dadbands

 

[Verb the Noun]

Not knowing the songs THEY gave me to learn.

Had this happen. Did not compute.

 

[BAG]

It’s just not customary to address pay before you’ve established mutual interest in a working relationship. I don’t know how it came to be that way and I can’t say whether it’s right or wrong, but maybe the nature of customs is that they transcend those two points.

Now I’ll play the other end -

I have played in bands where the guy who owns the PA takes an extra cut. I don’t get that. As someone else said, nobody paid for my rig. Also, in this particular band every player was expected to help pack out the PA, which was a nice one with IEMs, mixers, synchronized lights, etc. It took an hour to strike. I’m giving up a cut AND I have to pack the damn thing out?

I'm on bass and I supply the PA. I'm getting an extra cut.
Without a PA (whether it's in-house or supplied by the band) you've got no gigs and without some lighting you're looking like amateur hour.
Gigs where PA is supplied I get an equal cut.

These days I generally say no to gigs that don't have in house PA as it's just too much work for me.
This Saturday is the first time in a year or so where I'm taking the PA and I'm dreading it. By the time I pull apart half my studio, pack it in the car, get to the gig and set everything up, pull down after the gig, travel home, unpack the car and reset the studio it's going to be about a 7 hour or more day to earn less than I get for an hour and a half at my day job. I'm only doing it this time as it will be our last gig with this band lineup as the singer is moving to France.

 

[rwkeating]

Went for an audition and the drummer was not good at all. The leader said he didn't like my feel. I said, "I don't think I'm the problem." Didn't get the gig. I'm usually not that outspoken, but I couldn't help myself.

Funny thing, about a year later the leader called me up to be in the band and I ended up working with him for many years ... oh, the original drummer was long gone at that time

 

[gln1955]

I have played in bands where the guy who owns the PA takes an extra cut. I don’t get that. As someone else said, nobody paid for my rig. Also, in this particular band every player was expected to help pack out the PA, which was a nice one with IEMs, mixers, synchronized lights, etc. It took an hour to strike. I’m giving up a cut AND I have to pack the damn thing out?

I don't get that selfish attitude at all. That nice PA and lights don't just appear out of thin air. The guy has a big investment in something the band absolutely needs. Next time, try to do the gig without all that.

 

[Dust2Dust]

Thanks for reminding me why I stay in the bedroom

I didn't know it was so common for people not to learn songs before auditions. I was in an originals band and a drummer showed up without listening to any of the songs beforehand

 

[MegaSwing]

Get political.

 

[logdrum]

OP just want some humor for a Wednesday afternoon. Not band management tips. But hey, We are back on track on the low TB web traffic highlighted a few days ago.

 

[Egg250]

Apparently for me, it's asking the band leader what key the song is going to be in that he just called. Oh and also asking what is the average pay per gig.

Maybe they didn't realize auditions work both ways....

 

[Egg250]

Having to do your audition alongside a terrible drummer who is also auditioning for the same established project. "Why werent you guys playing together?"....

I prefer to audition 1 new musician at a time.

 

[basted]

I got my first break in a band after the original guy came to practice on time but tripping and with no bass and amp.
I played in a band where we gave a share to the PA owner. He was our keyboard player, not the lead singer. He had already spent a lot of money on his keyboard set up and we needed a PA. We were happy to have it.

 

[ComicBass]

In the last three years I've been passed on twice because I'm gay. I guess to some people that somehow effects the music in an undesirable way.

 

[Gorilla Monsoon]

Ask if pants are really necessary.

 

[ryco]

Drop your drive shaft on the freeway on the way to the audition.
Pick the wrong speakers when they A/B the studio monitors.
Not have the "current pop radio sound."
Tell the guitar player's little kid you've got the gig if "you decide you want it"
Tell the keyboard player you remember when he bounced you on his knee when he was your Dad's friend.
Put a lick in a commercial recording.