How to respond to repetitive requests for change

[SLO Surfer]

This;

As BL, if the change is a valid suggestion that would make the band better, tell them to make the change. If it isn't then tell the other person to shut up about it.

What about the situation where there is no BL -- it's a peer based band....how would you handle it then?

band meeting/discussion about it. Ask for every person to voice whether the suggestion is valid or the suggestor is out of line. My band is a democracy, and we all asked our violinist to make some changes over the course of 5-7 years. His answer was always “I’ll think about it.” We finally fired him and are a tighter, and happier band and rehearsals and gigs are fun and productive again.

So in a democracy, have everyone voice their opinions (nobody allowed to say “I don’t know/care. Must voice an opinion) then side with the majority and lose the odd man out if it’s that serious of an offense with one party unwilling to change.

The $35/gig music stand thing is ridiculous. You can’t ask someone to memorize tunes for that little pay, even if it’s a monthly, weekly, or daily gig.

 

[Pbassmanca]

 

[cnltb]

How to respond to repetitive requests for change
Change and see how it works. change back if it doesn't.

 

[bassdude51]

 

[QweziRider]

Rest of the band didn't care.

If that's the specific example, the requester can pound sand. For $35 a night and a band full of cohorts that don't mind, I'm using the stand too if needed.

 

[bearhart74]

What about the situation where there is no BL -- it's a peer based band....how would you handle it then?

Only option here is to decide for you self if the badgering is tolerable. If it is then stay.. otherwise bail

 

[guy n. cognito]

I see this come up in different situations. Fortunately, it's not been me whose had to deal with it, at least not within the last 8 years or so. But I've seen it happen to other people.

Someone in the band gets it in their head there is a need for another member to change some way. I won't give a specific example so we don't go discussing that, rather than the point of the thread.

The person, the target, indicates whey they aren't going to make that change. So, the person requesting the change, keeps asking for the change, over and over and over. The target indicates why they won't be changing. And then it gets more polarized, with the target getting more and more assertive. But the guy requesting the change won't quit. He keeps bringing it up, over and over again.

To make matters more interesting, it's not a band-wide call for change, just one person's request that the target person make the change.

How should the target respond to this situation? How would you respond to this situation if you were the band leader, looking on, if you think a response is due at all from you as BL?

If I think the change is warranted, then I request the change as the BL. If the “target” won’t comply, then he’s on the outs. However, if I disagree with the “requester” I tell him/her to knock off and leave management to me. If they persist....outs.

One of the most toxic things you can do is to allow one member to badger another on an issue the BL doesn’t seem worthy of correction.

 

[two fingers]

As BL, if the change is a valid suggestion that would make the band better, tell them to make the change. If it isn't then tell the other person to shut up about it.

Solved in the very first response.

There's a band leader in this situation that is NOT the target or the guy making the request? If the band leader is any kind of LEADER at all, this would have been solved the second tie the requester brought it up.

It's time for the rest of you to jump in. If it's something the whole band wants, it's time to join the requester in enforcing the change. If it's not, it's time for the rest of the band to get the requester off the other guy's back. End of story.

If I were in that situation as the "target" and realized nobody else in the band had my back I would be pretty pissed.

 

[Renaissance]

Where are all the adults when this badgering is going on?

 

[sean_on_bass]

Where are all the adults when this badgering is going on?

Agreed, this poopie doesn't just happen in a vacuum. When the suggestions arises, we talk about it, and it comes to some sort of resolution that doesn't involve someone storming out of the room. Generally it doesn't come up much after that. If it does, a certain somebody may have a severe character flaw when it comes to working as a team.

 

[gln1955]

The old saying "Lead, follow or get out of the way" applies. A leader hears out both sides and makes a decision. Once the decision is made, everyone moves on or moves out. If the leader can't do that, they need to step aside and let someone else take over. Some may call it being dictatorial, but it's just cutting out the petty crap and keeping everyone on task toward your common goal.

 

[dreamadream99]

I would handle a request for change in a normal manner.

But repeated requests for change? That’s another matter. That’s goading.

 

[Steve]

typically, I tell people to not bring me problems unless they also bring me a solution. In this case, If they don't like someone and want them gone, they can bring me what they consider to be an aproved equal.

In any case, it's not often at all that I'm not already aware of the issue and not being a problem is pretty high on my list of qualities I appreciate in a player. There is rarely enough money to justify being unhappy or frustrated. If joe is all that unhappy with his gig and who he's working with, Maybe Joe needs to find another band as his best path to happiness

 

[mambo4]

How should the target respond to this situation?

"hey everybody, I'm going to try that suggestion, please listen carefully and tell me if it actually sounds better."

Honestly I think the OP describes immature ego clashes, and those egos need checking.
A good leader is humble and , as mentioned, will weigh ideas on their own merits, and implement what serves the the team.
No leader? no factor. You don't need to be The Leader to practice leadership.

Maybe I listen to too much Jocko.

 

[BigBasserino]

As usual there's two halves of me that will coincide to make the whole opinion.

On one hand, it's true to the verse of the song, "Someone's crying my lord, Kumbaya", but such is life. There's always the guy with a stepladder agenda who can never be satisfied, even if none of it makes sense to you.


On another hand, in all seriousness, how well are you doing? Does everybody make a satisfactory amount on gigs? Does the routine get boring? Do things really sound as great as you make them sound or do you just like it because you came up with it?

Guys usually ask for change because A: They're unhappy with the band and don't want to leave, despite being unhappy, B: the material gets old (Like the same ska band that wants to play the same rehashed first wave covers EVERY SINGLE GIG THEY DO ONLY), OR C: .....They're crazy. "Nothing's wrong with our program, something's wrong with you" as they say in some areas.

Now. IF YOUR POCKETS ARE BRIMMING WITH GOLD, YOU GET NOTHING BUT COMPLIMENTS FROM PAYING CUSTOMERS, THERE'S NO COMMUTE/LOAD/PAY ISSUES AND THERE'S EVERLASTING SUCCESS, I suppose their opinion is invalid. I mean, who's to fault a great plan? But if this isn't the case, hate to say it, maybe those guys you just can't shut up are saying something you should listen to. AND COMPROMISE WITH. Just saying.

 

[QORC]

I see this come up in different situations. Fortunately, it's not been me whose had to deal with it, at least not within the last 8 years or so. But I've seen it happen to other people.

Someone in the band gets it in their head there is a need for another member to change some way. I won't give a specific example so we don't go discussing that, rather than the point of the thread.

The person, the target, indicates whey they aren't going to make that change. So, the person requesting the change, keeps asking for the change, over and over and over. The target indicates why they won't be changing. And then it gets more polarized, with the target getting more and more assertive. But the guy requesting the change won't quit. He keeps bringing it up, over and over again.

To make matters more interesting, it's not a band-wide call for change, just one person's request that the target person make the change.

How should the target respond to this situation? How would you respond to this situation if you were the band leader, looking on, if you think a response is due at all from you as BL?

can you be a bit more vague?

why not simply tell us who is asking you to change, what they are asking you to change, and why you consider the change unreasonable?

 

[MD]

In my personal situation, the person browbeating me to change would either,
A - get shown to the door, or
B - be looking for a new bassist.