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How to turn down a band

V

Vibhas Patil

Supporting Member
Sep 9, 2010
199
37
#1
Hey,

I was contacted by this singer songwriter and her manager. They want me to play bass. Now, I don't play bass professionally and I only play music that I want to, and the music that I like. IF this sounds too arrogant, forgive me.

Anyway, I listened to some of her stuff and it's not happening man. I don't like.

Any advice on how I turn down this in a nice and polite manner ?

Cheers!
 
#8
The musician-live music community is comparatively small. Don't burn any bridges. Good advice so far. All they need to know is that you are not available for this project and thanks for asking.

Maybe in the future this duo connects you to someone you DO want to play with.
 
#9
Thumbs up to you for not letting them waste your time. "Thanks for the interest, but I'm not available at this time..."

Sounds like a female singer/songwriter I gigged with a few times. She had a great voice but her songs were just awful. After a few shows one of the guitar players quit. A few shows later I left too. As you say "just not happening man..."
 
#11
I have had to do this twice recently. On both occasions I called them within a couple of days and said that it wasn't a project that I would be a good fit with. Anyone who is serious about their music knows that having someone who isn't 100% into the music will only be a burden down the road. They will appreciate your honesty.

If they ask why be honest and say it's a style or sound that you can't put your heart into. You're not saying you think their stuff is bad per se, it's just not your preferred style.
 
#14
bonga_rascal said:
Hey,

I was contacted by this singer songwriter and her manager. They want me to play bass. Now, I don't play bass professionally and I only play music that I want to, and the music that I like. IF this sounds too arrogant, forgive me.

Anyway, I listened to some of her stuff and it's not happening man. I don't like.

Any advice on how I turn down this in a nice and polite manner ?

Cheers!
Click to expand...

I had a similar situation recently. I was invited to an audition playing bass for a guy I know. He's a great guy and was in need of someone to take over the existing bass spot in a hurry.

I listened to some of their stuff, and didn't dislike it but it wasn't me. So I told him straight, before the audition. I felt bad because I felt like I was leaving him in a fix, but this isn't my day job... I have to do what I enjoy.

Sounds like you feel the same :)
 
#15
invader3k said:
"I don't think I'm a fit for your project. Good luck with your search."
Click to expand...

^here. My band was looking for a drummer for awhile and we are different than allot of bands. We told each drummer who responded to check out our bandsite and music then let us know what they think. A few said something like this and it was all we needed and we respected them for it.
 
#17
Must be nice, if I only played the music I liked. I would be waiting around for ever for a gigging band.

I take it your already in a working band playing what you like?

By the way, I do agree with the OP, it does sound arrogant.
 
#19
FenderBassist said:
Perfect answer.

And no, there's nothing wrong with you pursuing the music that interests you.

You never promised her anything, so it's ok to respectfully decline.
Click to expand...

I know 2 class. A lead guitarist that will only play in bands that play the music they like.

Both are coming up in 2 years of bedroom playing.

For me, no thanks. I have learned to be flexible.
 

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