How Would You React? (BL Problem)

[Stumbo]

We start rehearsals again next week, and I'm actually excited about it. We have some work to do, we want to re-vamp our setlist and change some stuff up, but everyone is happy about it. We all agreed to meet at the drummer's house for rehearsal and keep our same schedule.

+1000

You did your best. And maintained the highest integrity at the end, especially with the cables.

You may want to check out my TB Wiki page with several hundred learning links, a bunch of which apply to Being in and running a band

Also, when adding songs to your set list, remember, it's the audience who gets the last vote. Keep track of which tunes get the best response at gigs. Maybe give the tunes that don't get a great response one more chance but then think about replacing the tunes that still don't fill the dance floor.

Good luck with the new band.

 

[the yeti]

i think you did really well. glad it was nothing more than a little raised voices.

hope the new band goes really well!

 

[MarkMgibson]

Actually that's fairly sedate compared to situations I've seen. You treated him with more respect than he deserved. Best of luck with your next band. Hopefully you can just concentrate on music without all the damn intrigue. That nonsense just sucks up far too much of your energy.

 

[dalkowski]

BayState: You and your mates handled this all so well. Strictly business, minimal drama, and no question that it's over. Kudos to you for making a clean breast with the BL -- sure, your dander was up, but as was said above, you laid it on the line and said what needed to be said. He deserved to hear it.

High marks for letting the BL skate on the $30—sometimes you just have to know when it's not worth the trouble. Money's money, but clearly you had your priorities in order. And by forgiving that debt, you sent the clear message to the BL that you were cutting the cord totally and moving on. In other words, the money was far less important than getting on with your life.

Best of luck with the next stage - you guys will be great!

 

[Marko 1]

Good Lord, I just read the whole thread in one shot. I’m glad it had a good ending, but I’m still exhausted, haha.

Congrats to the OP for how he handled the situation and kept on the high road.

I’m another who got most of his early stage experience because of a nutty control-freak BL who couldn’t keep players, and I dare say my experience was even more drama-filled. It was years ago, and my blood pressure goes up just thinking about it.

Suffice it to say that it finally ended (very ugly), I started a new band, and the old BL is still going through guys (I don’t know where he keeps finding them) and struggling.

Imo, you can’t fix these guys.

 

[john_g]

Ive said it here on TB a bunch of times, but when you are primarily in this for fun (i.e. work a full time job and are a "weekend warrior" / play 2-3 times per month) and you arent having any, then its time to walk.

 

[bassbully]

Glad it all worked out. I'm sure you guys will hit iit hard with a fresh outlook on yourselves and your music. Good luck.

 

[Bass Viking]

The BL asked me, "Can I just ask why? I know I screwed up and I'm sorry.".

At this point my temper flared some, unfortunately. I pointed my finger at him and my voice got pretty angry. It went like this;

"I stayed with you for all this time, and you sold me down the river just to save face for yourself".

"It wasn't like that, really, it wasn't".

"Yes it was. It was exactly like that."

"Well, I didn't know I couldn't pass that stuff along!"

"You never asked. It's over. Goodbye."

He won't even own up to it.

I'm glad to hear it ended without violence. Good luck with your future band endeavours.

 

[BayStateBass]

Thanks everyone.

Today the BL disabled the Facebook page for the band. On his own account he posted that unfortunately the band had gone it's separate ways and he was saddened by it. He specifically mentioned my name and thanked me for all my hard work, along with others who helped promote us and organize our demo recording. I was the only band member he mentioned by name.

He took the high road, after all.

 

[Downunderwonder]

That's a bit rich. He got fired. I guess if you're any good you'll rise on your own merits but damn it's a lot of work down the drain to leave BL with the FB.

 

[BayStateBass]

That's a bit rich. He got fired. I guess if you're any good you'll rise on your own merits but damn it's a lot of work down the drain to leave BL with the FB.

Not worried. We all feel that we can do this on our own merit. Between the other three there is over 60 years of gigging experience, connections, and knowledge. I am the rookie and the greenhorn.

We couldn't keep the FB going, none of us were administrators on the page, just the BL. Actually, most things were that way, he retained sole control of virtually everything.

Honestly, it's the best I could have hoped for. He didn't trash anyone, call anyone out, or make it uncomfortable after the fact.

 

[Downunderwonder]

As it's all so amicable you might at least gain his blessing to cancel the existing bookings so you can rebook the new band.

 

[BayStateBass]

As it's all so amicable you might at least gain his blessing to cancel the existing bookings so you can rebook the new band.

Eh....not gonna happen.

I just checked FB. He stated that he is going to rebuild because, well, "The Golden Road Band has gig obligations and I plan to be there". So it looks like he's not going to cancel any of the gigs, and he certainly won't pass them on to us....the ones who actually did all the work and were the band that was hired for the shows we did and were expected to do.

Evidently he plans to try to put another band together on the quick....we had bookings through the summer. I just don't see how he's going to do it....unless he pays hired guns for the shows, which he can't because a lot of them were free. And he doesn't have any real money, he was making payments to me on stage monitors.

No way will our new group get his blessings now. He's forging onward I guess....don't know how he plans on doing it. This is all so bizarre.

I'm really sad for him. He's going to keep living this delusion of his....he keeps ripping through people and thinking that the next group will be "the one"....

This is virtually indescribable. He's going to post yet another cut from our demo CD on FB under the band name. We did all of the work and played on the CD....he did almost nothing on it......what he's putting up is the work of the ones who left the band....

We probably have no recourse of any type. None of us had any type of contract, no legal agreement of any type, and he owns the band name, so I suppose in one way or another anything recorded or produced under the band name is probably, in one way or another, his.

Right now I'm just feeling sorry for the guy. Honestly.

Now I am more sure than ever that we made the right decision.

 

[Factor88]

Evidently he plans to try to put another band together on the quick....we had bookings through the summer. I just don't see how he's going to do it....unless he pays hired guns for the shows, which he can't because a lot of them were free. [snip]We probably have no recourse of any type. None of us had any type of contract, no legal agreement of any type, and he owns the band name, so I suppose in one way or another anything recorded or produced under the band name is probably, in one way or another, his.

So he owns the products and name of a band that does mostly free gigs? Big deal. You just do your best Charlie Sheen impression ("Winner!") and move on.

 

[TomB]

Eh....not gonna happen.

I just checked FB. He stated that he is going to rebuild because, well, "The Golden Road Band has gig obligations and I plan to be there". So it looks like he's not going to cancel any of the gigs, and he certainly won't pass them on to us....the ones who actually did all the work and were the band that was hired for the shows we did and were expected to do.

Evidently he plans to try to put another band together on the quick....we had bookings through the summer. I just don't see how he's going to do it....unless he pays hired guns for the shows, which he can't because a lot of them were free. And he doesn't have any real money, he was making payments to me on stage monitors.

No way will our new group get his blessings now. He's forging onward I guess....don't know how he plans on doing it. This is all so bizarre.

I'm really sad for him. He's going to keep living this delusion of his....he keeps ripping through people and thinking that the next group will be "the one"....

This is virtually indescribable. He's going to post yet another cut from our demo CD on FB under the band name. We did all of the work and played on the CD....he did almost nothing on it......what he's putting up is the work of the ones who left the band....

We probably have no recourse of any type. None of us had any type of contract, no legal agreement of any type, and he owns the band name, so I suppose in one way or another anything recorded or produced under the band name is probably, in one way or another, his.

Right now I'm just feeling sorry for the guy. Honestly.

Now I am more sure than ever that we made the right decision.

It does sound as if he's likely to crash & burn from what you describe. If so, you'll want to be as far away as possible. ...don't even sweat the demo. Good riddance.

 

[ArtechnikA]

The venues will eventually get word of it and may start to cancel on their own due to anticipatory breach or misrepresentation since he won't be able to deliver the band they thought they were getting.

At this point you must be very, very careful about maintaining a 'clean room' approach with prior venues. Let them find you, but you can't contact them for a reasonable period...

If they've cancelled with the original BL and _then_ they find you, you may be OK.

Having no contracts or agreements works to your benefit here, since there is no enforceable 'no-compete' clause in effect...

 

[NWB]

Ah nooo! Now you missed out on all these free gigs!

 

[Nev375]

It doesn't matter what he does. If he uses recordings of you to promote himself it is not going to look good on him in the long run. If he follows through with gigs and disappoints/upsets venues... again, not your concern.

Don't look back, wash any influence of him out of your material and forge ahead clean. Be yourselves, be unique and carve your own little musical niche and do everything you do with integrity and good things will follow.

 

[lokikallas]

Hey, maybe now you'll have a key to your own practice space!

 

[BayStateBass]

Hey, maybe now you'll have a key to your own practice space!

Then I know I've "made it".....

He has left me two voice mails on my company phone today. I half listened to them, they were mostly him rambling on about how I should reconsider, and how he's not obsessed, he just has a strong work ethic, etc...

I deleted them.

I am now deleting him from my FB "friend" list. As of this morning he's posting about how the whole band left him over a stupid thing, and how he's currently rebuilding, and how he won't take this laying down.