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I don't like being hugged!

#24
stratovani said:
Do you think I'm arguing with you, Eric? Because I'm not. I don't like being hugged and I've said so. If you like being hugged then fine, it's not my problem. And if anyone else likes to be hugged, then fine, too. I'm just wondering if anyone else is like me, that's all.
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Well you kind of snapped at me when I offered some feedback. What's a guy to think? :atoz:
 
#28
Lets for instance assume i am not a hugger. Like it's in my culture not to hug people (it's not true, but lets assume)

What i don't understand is the idea of "we should respect other's culture".

Who are these "others" and why am i not in this group of others. Why don't these others respect my culture? Shouldn't they respect culture of others as well?

So if i don't like being hugged, i was not brought up as a hugger so it's not in my culture.

This other is brought up on culture of hugging. They hug all day and all night.

We meet, who should be more willing to respect the culture of the other? There are no written rules on that.

Technically, if 1 person likes to-do something and 2nd person does not, 2nd person's wishes should be taken more seriously.

Like for instance, i like to drink, this other person does not. I shouldn't force alcohol on them. Or should the non-drinker respect my culture and get trashed with me?

PS - i hug.
 
#31
I am latino, we hug all the time, men also kiss girls in the cheek, once only no like Italians, men in Argentina kiss each other cheeks...I cant do that . However, I found that hugs is not part of American culture, I can tell many people here does not even know how to give a hug but well, it is what it is.
 
#34
kserg said:
Lets for instance assume i am not a hugger. Like it's in my culture not to hug people (it's not true, but lets assume)

What i don't understand is the idea of "we should respect other's culture".

Who are these "others" and why am i not in this group of others. Why don't these others respect my culture? Shouldn't they respect culture of others as well?

So if i don't like being hugged, i was not brought up as a hugger so it's not in my culture.

This other is brought up on culture of hugging. They hug all day and all night.

We meet, who should be more willing to respect the culture of the other? There are no written rules on that.

Technically, if 1 person likes to-do something and 2nd person does not, 2nd person's wishes should be taken more seriously.

Like for instance, i like to drink, this other person does not. I shouldn't force alcohol on them. Or should the non-drinker respect my culture and get trashed with me?

PS - i hug.
Click to expand...



^ great question.

I've spent time in a few different countries and my philosophy as always been that you make an honest attempt at "fitting in" to the culture there as a sign of respect. You're in a culture that hugs, you hug. You're in a culture that does not, then you don't. There's no contest to see who's right or wrong, you just do what you need to do to have a good time, experience a culture and make friends.

Now, I think the tricky part comes when you break it down in a more multicultural society where you have the huggers, smoochers, and the "handshake only" folks and you have to guess who is who. In that instance, I try to play it safe. If I don't think a hug is appropriate, then I just shake hands. Sometimes if I'm stumped, I'll let the other party take the lead and just follow along. Basically, I like people in general and I've never seen myself in any sort of "cultural" struggle where mine should be predominant over the others etc etc Frankly I just don't care enough about the issue.
 
#39
Relic said:
^ great question.

I've spent time in a few different countries and my philosophy as always been that you make an honest attempt at "fitting in" to the culture there as a sign of respect. You're in a culture that hugs, you hug. You're in a culture that does not, then you don't. There's no contest to see who's right or wrong, you just do what you need to do to have a good time, experience a culture and make friends.

Now, I think the tricky part comes when you break it down in a more multicultural society where you have the huggers, smoochers, and the "handshake only" folks and you have to guess who is who. In that instance, I try to play it safe. If I don't think a hug is appropriate, then I just shake hands. Sometimes if I'm stumped, I'll let the other party take the lead and just follow along. Basically, I like people in general and I've never seen myself in any sort of "cultural" struggle where mine should be predominant over the others etc etc Frankly I just don't care enough about the issue.
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Yeah, when you are in foreign place, you respect their traditions as a visitor. In society like ours, it becomes harder because it's a mix of cultures and no one is a visitor.

I don't have much of cultural struggle myself either, but i am just trying to think as a person who would have it. I think we tend to tell people with cultural struggle to "take it easy" and as i said "you should respect the traditions of others" but I don't really see it other way around.


XoXo
 

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