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I don't like being hugged!
- Thread starter stratovani
- Start date
Funny, "do you need a hug" is always used to make fun of someone with my friends. Girls or guys. It usually followed by offer of a wet towel.
Never actually heard that being said in serious tone.
slobake
resident ... something
I grew up in an irish catholic family. Not only did we not hug we didn't show any emotion at all except for occasional anger. When I did show anger I was punished.
Over the years all of that changed, I used to hate it when people tried to hug me now I really like it. But I also know who I am hugging before I attempt it. If I don't know you or sense that you don't like hugging I will extend my hand. If I think it will be alright I might also put my other hand on your arm above your elbow.
A female friend taught me the different types of hugs approriate with females depending on the person. There is the side hug (I put my arm around your shoulder from the side), the teepee hug, and the full on hug.
If someone doesn't want to be hugged it is not right to force a hug on them, I respect the OP's right.
Over the years all of that changed, I used to hate it when people tried to hug me now I really like it. But I also know who I am hugging before I attempt it. If I don't know you or sense that you don't like hugging I will extend my hand. If I think it will be alright I might also put my other hand on your arm above your elbow.
A female friend taught me the different types of hugs approriate with females depending on the person. There is the side hug (I put my arm around your shoulder from the side), the teepee hug, and the full on hug.
If someone doesn't want to be hugged it is not right to force a hug on them, I respect the OP's right.
Like Serg, I've only heard "Do you need a hug?" as a sarcastic jab, but I've heard plenty of women say "I need a hug" after a bad day. It really seems to help them somehow, although I'm baffled as to how it makes any difference.
For a really bizarre example of this, if go downtown here in Denver on any given day it's almost certain that I'll see one of the free hugs people
If you haven't experienced these folks they are a trip.
I just don't get it and to make matters more strange from what I've seen they are usually of the rather dirty hippy verity.
Free smelly possibly lice infested hug? Yeah no thanks.
I had the idea a while back to troll these people with some well dressed nice smelling individuals holding sings that read premium hugs $1.00
This reminds me I need to do this and throw it up on the web.
Yes! Do this!!!
slobake
resident ... something
Thank you. I appreciate it. We'll shake hands on it!
Of course there are different types of handshakes. You want the urban hipster handshake, the firm non nonsense business handshake, Up high-down low-too slow, the dead fish handshake , or what?
Every time I see friends and family, they ask for a hug. I personally don't get it. Why does everyone become so eager for a hug? It is a pointless activity. Then again, maybe I'm just not affectionate.
Now on the other hand, I don't see why anyone would have a problem with being hugged unless they had personal space issues or something. If someone wants to hug me, that's fine, I just think it's a pointless social custom in most cases. Hugging your mother is one thing, but someone you've met twice and barely know?
Now on the other hand, I don't see why anyone would have a problem with being hugged unless they had personal space issues or something. If someone wants to hug me, that's fine, I just think it's a pointless social custom in most cases. Hugging your mother is one thing, but someone you've met twice and barely know?
Or how about the "handholder"? That's the worst. It haven't experienced it often (but I just did last week, oddly enough). That guy who when you extend your hand he doesn't let go? Awkward. Eventually you reach the point where your realize he isn't going to relinquish and you have to physically pull away. Dude, I was going to shake your hand, not hold it!
Or how about the "handholder"? That's the worst. It haven't experienced it often (but I just did last week, oddly enough). That guy who when you extend your hand he doesn't let go? Awkward. Eventually you reach the point where your realize he isn't going to relinquish and you have to physically pull away. Dude, I was going to shake your hand, not hold it!
Those are typically the ones who don't want you to escape before they can make their sales pitch.
Yeah you pretty much become close friends with everyone on an NYC subway too.
I'm from a big Italian family - I'm second generation in the US. Italians are nothing if not emotional and don't have much compunction about displaying those emotions. Hugs and kisses between family members and friends, regardless of gender, are the norm. I can't imagine being any other way.
That said, I agree the the OP's wishes should be respected.
slobake
resident ... something
I married into a hispanic family, same thing. Lots of emotion, hugs, everyone talks at once. If you are talking and someone interupts you just talk louder, that's why we all talk so loud.
It was a cultural shock at first but now I have come to embrace it. (Pun intended). It reminds me of Woody Allen reminicing about dinner with his family when he sits down to eat dinner with Annie Hall's family.
My exes grandfather was like that. I always wondered what he was going to try and sell me. Apparently, it was his granddaughter.
You, me, and Keith Urban.
Anyone notice on American Idol, everybody hugs everybody before and after anything happens on the show? Somebody's going to perform: hug them. Somebody performed and brought down the house: hug them. Somebody performed and didn't bomb: hug them. Somebody got voted off: hug them. Somebody performed with a guest: contestant must hug the guest.
Except in season 8, when Keith Urban performed with the winner, Chris whatshisname. After their number, Chris whatshisname goes over to hug Keith, but Keith is having none of it. Hips five feet apart, Keith only allowed his shoulders to be touched in the most "Bro" of bro-hugs I have ever seen. I thought it was hilarious.
Strat, you said in the OP you "let" your wife and children hug you so to me that speaks volumes. But how about the way NFL coaches hug after a game, or if you visited Hawaii and were about to get lei'd by a lovely voluptuous woman who want to innocently press her snacks up against you while giving you a welcoming hug, you would be repelled???!!!??? 
slobake
resident ... something
I heard a soundclip of Frank Sinatra. Apparently the host of some concert or show tried to hug the Chairman of the Board. You can here him shouting "Get away from me you creep."
Strat, you said in the OP you "let" your wife and children hug you so to me that speaks volumes. But how about the way NFL coaches hug after a game, or if you visited Hawaii and were about to get lei'd by a lovely voluptuous woman who want to innocently press her snacks up against you while giving you a welcoming hug, you would be repelled???!!!???
I don't know. Why?
I like hugs, but I'm with the OP on this one. Giving up one's personal space like that should not be a social obligation. And I think it's fine if someone wants to accept a hug from a beautiful lei-bearing Hawaiian woman and not want to be hugged by just anybody. We use this kind of discretion in other situations, don't we?
