• TalkBass has been independent since 1998. Add your voice.
    Create a free account to reply to discussions, view embedded media, and browse with fewer display ads.
    Join freeLog in
    Want zero display ads or expanded classifieds tools? Compare plans.

I don't like being hugged!

Used to hug in the 70's and 80's. Was in a band, wore spandex, did dumb stuff, had fun.
Quit bands from 1989~2006(Dad time), hugs were not liked.
Started playing in a band again in 2006.
Now, they want hugs....they got hugs.
Funny how it works like that.
I dropped doing dumb stuff off the "to do" list.
 
Yesterday my wife and I went to a local coffee shop, where we met up with some of her friends from her church (I'm not a churchgoer, but that's for another thread). After coffee one of her friends gets up to leave, and proceeds to go around hugging everyone. I told her that I don't like to be hugged, but she went ahead and tried to hug me anyways. I resisted her, so after a few second she gave up. To me that shows a complete lack of respect for my wishes.

We seem to have developed into a society of huggers. I wasn't brought up that way, and I wish people would respect my wishes and not hug me. I let my wife and kids hug me, but that's as far as I'll go. A handshake, fine, but please, no hugs!

Anyone else feels like me?

Personally, I don't think we hug enough. People are WAY too afraid of physical interactions with others these days. Just trying to shake a dude's hand when you meet him has become a hassle (and half the time he'll give you the 'limp fish').
 
What part of "I don't like to be hugged" did she not understand? Sounds pretty clear and should have been respected.

I love hugs, but only from people I know really well, like family members and good friends. Not from casual acquaintances.
 
I don't like hugs from anyone but my wife and daughter. I love hugs from them. I grew up in a family that didn't hug.

My least favorite stranger hug of all is when they bump uglies with you. That creeps me out. I often make sure to bend slightly forward from the waist to avoid that very situation.

:help:
 
awakefie said:
I don't like hugs from anyone but my wife and daughter. I love hugs from them. I grew up in a family that didn't hug.

My least favorite stranger hug of all is when they bump uglies with you. That creeps me out. I often make sure to bend slightly forward from the waist to avoid that very situation.

:help:

You would not do well on a train in a city then.

I was going to a baseball game (Washington Nats if anyone cares) and the train before broke down or something. Anyways, it was late. So here I am in a train that's way over packed, and I'm standing there completely nut to butt with this guy... And he's just having a conversation with this other guy about baseball.

Point of the story, it's only weird if you make it weird.
 
I actually feel more awkward around friends that I can't touch freely - guys or girls. Handshakes, hugs, hair, face, whatever.

Yes, this is me as well.

I'm a touchy feely person myself, I don't know why, mom raised me that way and maybe it's just an affection thing. It's an easy way to let someone know you like them or care for them.

Besides that i'm a large person so people feel the need to wanna touch me or hug me, so I let them, and me returning the favor seems to show that i'm not some stoic meathead who's too tough for that "nonsense."

Idk, I respect peoples personal space, but if you're my friend i'm gonna poke your face or squeeze your cheeks or pat your shoulder or take your glasses or your hat and be playful. No harm.
 
arbitrary said:
last guy who told me he didn't like getting hugged, got his ass grabbed by me

You made my day!!!! :lol:

I don't particularly want to be hugged or kissed by strangers. I hated it as a kid, in Spain, and that was mostly family...
But I have to say I now prefer that type of culture than the one where people almost seem afraid of any physical contact, which I experienced both in the UK and the US.
I think it's nice to be relaxed enough that a little physical contact is not a big deal, and it does not mean anything more than what it is
 
I am not a big hugger, it's not something we do here...
I have a couple mates that i hug (brazilian) but mostly here in the UK you shake hands with people and cheek kiss women who are not strangers!

In belgium where i was born and raised we cheek kiss everyone, men/men, men/women, women/women! Sometimes more than once, depending on the area you are in it could be anywhere from one kiss to two on each cheeks!
Some people find it really awkward!
 
It's a question of respecting my personal space. I don't care what anybody says, I don't want to be hugged.

It's a question of respecting personal space, and a question of social norms.

You have every right to expect others to respect your personal space - but you shouldn't be at all surprised when others look at you oddly for violating social norms.

Hand shaking, tipping service staff, not belching at the table, etc., etc. - all social norms that one is welcome to not engage in, but will invite scrutiny from others.
 
If I know someone and am close friends, I don't mind hugging.

If I don't know you, why can't I just shake your hand. It seems that the handshake/hug thing has gone too far. Just shake my hand and leave it at that.
I'm the same way. Someone I know...I could care less. Total stranger or friend of a friend is just awkward.

....you know, the handshake / half-hug back pat maneuver...
LOL I was going to say this is something I do with close guy friends I haven't seen in a long time and we are all straight married men. Funny how he's not even comfortable with this...
 
Yesterday my wife and I went to a local coffee shop, where we met up with some of her friends from her church (I'm not a churchgoer, but that's for another thread). After coffee one of her friends gets up to leave, and proceeds to go around hugging everyone. I told her that I don't like to be hugged, but she went ahead and tried to hug me anyways. I resisted her, so after a few second she gave up. To me that shows a complete lack of respect for my wishes.

We seem to have developed into a society of huggers. I wasn't brought up that way, and I wish people would respect my wishes and not hug me. I let my wife and kids hug me, but that's as far as I'll go. A handshake, fine, but please, no hugs!

Anyone else feels like me?

And on another forum a woman is posting to her churchgoing friends about the man who disrespected her by not allowing her to hug him upon her departure.
 
I couldn't work in my field if I didn't like them. I sometimes wonder if I've been hugged more than any other human on the planet. :) The tough part is teaching these amazing folks the importance of side hugs ( displays of affections are highly scrutinized in my field, and sadly, rightly so... there are some sick people out there who would/will/do take advantage )
I actually have more issue with the hold your handshake for more than 10 seconds guy or the grab the shoulder and squeeze while they handshake guy. It's a me thing I know, but it rubs me the wrong way.
 
I'm okay with hugs as long as they don't stink and aren't a complete stranger.
The only instances I will go out of my way to hug is with someone I am good friends with or family and generally only upon departure.

What I don't get is people who feel they are somehow benefited by hugs.

Do you need a hug?
No thanks I'll take a real sense of entitlement that comes from far greater things in life.

For a really bizarre example of this, if go downtown here in Denver on any given day it's almost certain that I'll see one of the “free hugs people”
If you haven't experienced these folks they are a trip.

I just don't get it and to make matters more strange from what I've seen they are usually of the rather dirty hippy verity.
Free smelly possibly lice infested hug? Yeah no thanks.
I had the idea a while back to troll these people with some well dressed nice smelling individuals holding sings that read premium hugs $1.00
This reminds me I need to do this and throw it up on the web.:D