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I don't think I can match their dedication
- Thread starter BKBassDude
- Start date
My advice to OP:
Don't leave the band, but also don't give up any money for the band, and scrap their advice about having an acceptable "online presence." Just stick with it and see where it goes. If it gets to the point that you just don't have the time to commit, then re-evaluate then. No reason to leave just yet, or really have a confrontation with them at all. Just roll with the flow.
Don't leave the band, but also don't give up any money for the band, and scrap their advice about having an acceptable "online presence." Just stick with it and see where it goes. If it gets to the point that you just don't have the time to commit, then re-evaluate then. No reason to leave just yet, or really have a confrontation with them at all. Just roll with the flow.
Time solves all. Keep being the calm bedrock they can jump excitedly on, and don't stress on their requests. No one knows the next day or gig. The music is the message and it will represent you socially and was what the audience responded to. If you didn't question yourself before that gig then don't start now! The number of people who show up for the music will FAR outweigh the people who show up because they dig your facebook page. NOTHING wrong with feeling less enthusiastic about your imagined future as long as you love the music and feel it when you play it. The rest should take care of itself. But if you show up for practices and you feel like you didn't drink the right glass of cool aid, follow your heart. The path with heart is the only path worth taking and the others will see it in their own time.
Well, all I can say is it’s to bad your heart isn’t fully into this - because it totally ROCKS!!!
This. Well stated. If that doesn't work, it's time to move on.
I am constantly bombarded by phone calls from guys I played with over a decade ago. We all have families, houses, jobs, etc. But they are still going to "try to make it one more time". Many of them even have the guts, multiple chins, and receding hair lines that we all know audiences love. (Lest we forget all their songs sound like Poison anyway.) It's actually quite sad. One of them will go out and buy a freaking guitar amp after the mechanic has already told the guy his wife's car will need a new transmission soon (and they don't have the money for both). They have the nerve to get offended at me when I politely decline. Reality check time.
Ha, thanks for the kind words. I wouldn't say my heart isn't totally in it, I do like the tunes and the guys and playing with them. I just can't commit to altering my life significantly at this stage in the game. If I see bigger things on the horizon, then I'll take further stock.
FWIW...
It's one show, but everything starts somewhere. We've all seen what talent can do, but dedication is very powerful, and lack of it can derail even the best group. I say give it a go, until it consumes you (positively) or becomes too much to deal with. The advise regarding your social media presence is good advise for everyone.
I just saw Joe Louvar packing his car... said something about an opening in a new band in NY...
It's one show, but everything starts somewhere. We've all seen what talent can do, but dedication is very powerful, and lack of it can derail even the best group. I say give it a go, until it consumes you (positively) or becomes too much to deal with. The advise regarding your social media presence is good advise for everyone.
I just saw Joe Louvar packing his car... said something about an opening in a new band in NY...
FWIW...
It's one show, but everything starts somewhere. We've all seen what talent can do, but dedication is very powerful, and lack of it can derail even the best group. I say give it a go, until it consumes you (positively) or becomes too much to deal with. The advise regarding your social media presence is good advise for everyone.
I just saw Joe Louvar packing his car... said something about an opening in a new band in NY...
The thought crossed my mind for a second, lol. Anyway, the OP said that if he quits it might harm his friendship with his friend.OP - if youre going to bail and want to try and salvage the friendship, you might want to try and find a replacement (there has to be hundreds of bass players in NY, and unless you already have some bass players in mind, theres probably no better place to look than TB?
After listening:
I'm very impressed.. Better word: I would be proud if I was part of this project.
Thanks for that, I enjoyed.
Marc
Even after being around the block a few times and being somewhat jaded, I still get pumped after a very successful show. It sounds like this may be what's happening here. The statement about being a "public figure," while a bit pretentious, does have some merit. I sometimes muzzle myself on my social media accounts due to fans being on my page. I'm not a doormat, but I generally exercise much more tact when stating an opinion that may be controversial. I have seen local musicians alienate other musicians, fans, and local music industry people because their online personas got out of control.
And yes, good tunes! I think if you could hook up with a seasoned producer, you would really have something. It may not make your a rockstar, but I think from a musical and artistic standpoint, you could do some awesome things.
And yes, good tunes! I think if you could hook up with a seasoned producer, you would really have something. It may not make your a rockstar, but I think from a musical and artistic standpoint, you could do some awesome things.
I had a listen. I would not be selling the family cow to play in this band. You're quite good I suppose but we already have a lot of bands who do gravel vocals and pinch harmonics. One good gig doesn't make you a public figure.
I certainly wouldn't be adhering to any rules or taking on any significant financial burdens. I'm admittedly very cynical but the reality is that unless you're entrenched in a scene and gigging regularly you're not ever going to 'make it' if you're over 27 and playing heavy rock/metal originals. You've probably got as much chance of that as you do of finding buried treasure.
So you clearly have the correct gut feeling here. Remember that the biggest buff you can get in music is when a gig that you thought was going to be a bust wasn't. Your buddies might just be riding an unexpected high.
I certainly wouldn't be adhering to any rules or taking on any significant financial burdens. I'm admittedly very cynical but the reality is that unless you're entrenched in a scene and gigging regularly you're not ever going to 'make it' if you're over 27 and playing heavy rock/metal originals. You've probably got as much chance of that as you do of finding buried treasure.
So you clearly have the correct gut feeling here. Remember that the biggest buff you can get in music is when a gig that you thought was going to be a bust wasn't. Your buddies might just be riding an unexpected high.
One thought is that you don't need to have the same relationship with the band as the rest of the members. For instance you could let them know what level of investment and commitment you're capable of, and offer to act as a sort of permanent sideman, accepting the risk that they might replace you if they break out and need to start traveling a lot. You could also accept a lower potential profit from the investments, for instance by not partaking in profit from CD sales if you don't invest in the recording process. And the band will keep you as long as possible because changing the bassist is the last thing they need to think about right now.
A lot of talent on those recordings. Really liked the singers tone. The question for the op is, are you ready to devote the massive amount of time, with very little financial return, that it will take over the next couple years to see that potential through to the next level? It can be done, but the journey has laid low many a fine musician.
I recently quit a band that makes good music. They spend every penny they make from gigs on studio time and production costs to get nice CD jackets made up. No one gets paid except the hired guns like steel guitar players. Once a year they pile into a van and drag their equipment on some "circuit" tour of some kind, playing holes in the walls in exotic locations like Nashville or Southern California. They share a hotel room and eat crappy food for a couple of weeks. They come home dirty, hungry, tired, and broke. They have nothing to show for their efforts but memories.
But they are happy as clams.
Like I said, I quit this band.
But they are happy as clams.
Like I said, I quit this band.
Thanks for the feedback folks. I suppose since this is a bass forum, any comments on my playing/tone? I'm glad people appreciated the tunes at the very least.
Listened to your tracks and all are good.
So, where does that leave you?
Here's what I've found in life: I'm 46. I've been very successful in business. I've had a very successful but tough career in the military. I've been through scads of really tough adversity. It's called life.
You seem a bit tentative. I'm certain you have your reasons, and I'll not toss stones at you by any means for that. However, I can assure you that "making it big" in anything requires risk, many trials and kicks in the teeth. The reality is, there are many many super talented musicians (athletes, business people, pilots, artists, etc.) sitting at home saying they "could've been." More often than not it's the guy/gal with good talent but more...the tenacious desire and initiative who "makes it."
Frankly, here's where you are: "Sh!t, or get off the pot" with these guys. Don't do anything half way, or with one foot in and one foot out. If they want to go to the Super Bowl, by all means strap up and do everything it takes, or get out of the way. Give it careful thought. Consider as many factors as you can, then be decisive!
I wish you the best either way!!
So, where does that leave you?
Here's what I've found in life: I'm 46. I've been very successful in business. I've had a very successful but tough career in the military. I've been through scads of really tough adversity. It's called life.
You seem a bit tentative. I'm certain you have your reasons, and I'll not toss stones at you by any means for that. However, I can assure you that "making it big" in anything requires risk, many trials and kicks in the teeth. The reality is, there are many many super talented musicians (athletes, business people, pilots, artists, etc.) sitting at home saying they "could've been." More often than not it's the guy/gal with good talent but more...the tenacious desire and initiative who "makes it."
Frankly, here's where you are: "Sh!t, or get off the pot" with these guys. Don't do anything half way, or with one foot in and one foot out. If they want to go to the Super Bowl, by all means strap up and do everything it takes, or get out of the way. Give it careful thought. Consider as many factors as you can, then be decisive!
I wish you the best either way!!
I really agree with IGotGas here. I too listened to your songs on reverbnation, and it's obvious you are really good. Unfortunately being excellent isn't enough, since there are hundreds of bands out there as good as you. Everything comes down to how much work you are willing to put into your music. If you don't believe you can become superstars, you certainly will not.
Of course, the probability of becoming big is very small, so financially the sound decision would be to just play for fun and work a regular job. Only you can make the decision.
