I have no other outlet...and I apologize........

[Hot Rats]

I like the Scandinavian proverb mentioned above. I knew sharing here would help me as I have seen in the past the compassion that can come from the talkbass community. I really appreciate the comments and sharing, it has helped just knowing there are many out there, strangers, who are good, feeling people. Thank you all.

 

[mambo4]

"What is grief, if not love persevering?" - some frivolous TV show

That such events effects us mess us up so much is a reflection of our own capacity for love or compassion or connection or whatever you want to call it.
My own best buddy has had a slew of chronic health issues over the years, and I try not to think about the inevitable. The flip side of growing older is having to let go.

Sorry for your loss. No need to apologize for your humanity.

 

[SoonerBill]

My prayers, thoughts and condolences are with you. And no apology is necessary. This forum is often used for reaching out. I have done so myself. I believe those who have something in common have understanding for each other.

 

[kesslari]

I feel so sad to read this. Sending prayers for peace to him and to you and to his family.

 

[mikecd1]

I lost my only son just a few short years ago and the pain and helplessness is always with me. Seeing someone close slip away slowly is painful, but your opening up allows others to empathize with you and can tell you that you are not alone. Try to remember the good and believe if you can that his suffering will end but your friendship will always remain.

 

[Hot Rats]

I lost my only son just a few short years ago and the pain and helplessness is always with me. Seeing someone close slip away slowly is painful, but your opening up allows others to empathize with you and can tell you that you are not alone. Try to remember the good and believe if you can that his suffering will end but your friendship will always remain.

I'm sorry. My son died 26 years ago, and I think about him frequently. Not every day anymore but it still hurts. That was a tough one, realizing the first time I hadn't thought about him and thinking, "this is it, he'll start to fade" but his memory can never fade. Take care.

 

[Hot Rats]

Just got word he passed on. They stopped life support, and he died a couple hours later. His name was Jim Lacey, and I was his friend. Take care all. Peace.

 

[TonyP-]

I don't know what to say to comfort you, but you are not alone.

This…unfortunately

@Hot Rats I get it…I lost 3 friends this fall. Cancer, suicide and complications to organs shutting down. All mid 50s and down.

Enjoy everyday you can, because tomorrow is not a promise. I'm sorry

 

[iamjethro]

Thoughts, prayers and Love to Jim and to you, as well.

 

[fig]

Wishing you strength.

 

[Funky Ghost]

I'm sorry. My son died 26 years ago, and I think about him frequently. Not every day anymore but it still hurts. That was a tough one, realizing the first time I hadn't thought about him and thinking, "this is it, he'll start to fade" but his memory can never fade. Take care.

When my daughter passed in 2000, it was the single hardest thing I had endured in a rather rough life. I still think of her often. I talk to her often. I'm in my 60's now, so a fair bit of my past is now gone. I am my families elder now and that weighs on me. You are not alone. Remain focused on those closest to you and let them know you are present, if for no other reason than to share a bit of humanity and humility with them. In all facets of life, love and grief it is the sharing that makes it so precious.

Much love to you and yours.

 

[Element Zero]

.............But my friend of 40 years cracked his skull open in the bathroom and after an induced, prolonged coma, and then finally having the brain swelling subside and being taken off the drugs and pain killers, still shows no signs of response. He has now been given his last rights and I wait, until whenever, to find out when he has passes, leaving me with an overwhelming sense of anxiety I cannot shake.. I have not seen this dude for 15 years, yet he is still like a brother to me and although nobody around me ever knew this guy and I have no one to share my pain with, I feel the need to reach out into the ether to anyone who might know my pain and express how sad I am. I have not been this lost since my son died. Peace everyone and take care of yourselves. Don't go slippin' where you shoudna' be slippin'.

Just attended my best friend's funeral on Friday. We had been friends since 1988. He attempted suicide on Halloween and was in an unresponsive coma until his family decided to take him off life support on November 11th. He and his 5 year old son had come into town just the weekend before Halloween to hang and let our kids run around at a local jungle gym. We had a lot of laughs. Talking about how much he was looking forward to retirement and spending all of his focus on his son. There's an immense number of unanswered questions and was incredibly unexpected.

I'm truly sorry homie. Sometimes there's no words anyone can utter that offer any real comfort. But you can rest knowing that others have gone through or are going through similar life shaking moments and were here even if just to lend an ear. Please do not hesitate to reach out.

 

[Saetia]

Send me a message any time and I will reply. You're not alone.

 

[60bass]

.............But my friend of 40 years cracked his skull open in the bathroom and after an induced, prolonged coma, and then finally having the brain swelling subside and being taken off the drugs and pain killers, still shows no signs of response. He has now been given his last rights and I wait, until whenever, to find out when he has passes, leaving me with an overwhelming sense of anxiety I cannot shake.. I have not seen this dude for 15 years, yet he is still like a brother to me and although nobody around me ever knew this guy and I have no one to share my pain with, I feel the need to reach out into the ether to anyone who might know my pain and express how sad I am. I have not been this lost since my son died. Peace everyone and take care of yourselves. Don't go slippin' where you shoudna' be slippin'.

I also have friends that I have known since the mid to late 60s. They are more than just friends they are like brothers to me having known them for so long. Two have since passed away within the last couple of years and since I now live on the other side of the country from them I was not able to get back to see them before they passed away. even though I knew they were sick there was just no way that I could get back there. I felt and still do feel horrible about that. I did talk to them and they said they understood the reasons why I couldn't get back there. Because sometimes life gets in the way. I was undergoing major medical procedures and was unable to travel myself. Sometimes that's what happens. What helped me was some things they said when I talked to them towards the end. One of them said hey friend, I have lived my life and I am not afraid to go. if it is my time then it is my time. And I don't want you to suffer and feel bad about it because it's not your fault. My other friend said something very similar. He said hey I've had a long life I've made mistakes but overall I've been happy we played music together and had fun But all good things eventually come to an end. Of the three of us he was the most religious A true Christian. He said look we don't know when we're going to go And we're not supposed to know. Only God knows and God's not telling us. He said do not feel sorry for me I am on my way to a better place I will miss you because we have known each other almost all of our adult lives but we will see each other again.

I remembered my father saying something similar when he passed away. so now I have a very different attitude about it. I am looking at it as being one door closes but another one opens and then you step through it. What awaits us when we step through that other door we don't know And we won't be able to come back and tell anybody after we step through it. Just know that your friend is going to a better place where your friend will be made whole again and will no longer be suffering. Be happy for him And know that you will see him again someday. I will also pray for you. Also know that I'm the lone survivor of my Immediate family. Not a day goes by 'cause I do not think of them and also my friends and other relatives who have passed on. That is part of life. But I do know that neither our family nor our friends would want us to sit around feeling sorry and grieving about their loss. They would want us to continue on with our lives and be happy and remember them fondly. That is exactly what I am doing and I'm going to keep on doing it till my time comes which I hope is not too soon.

 

[TOOL460002]

.............But my friend of 40 years cracked his skull open in the bathroom and after an induced, prolonged coma, and then finally having the brain swelling subside and being taken off the drugs and pain killers, still shows no signs of response. He has now been given his last rights and I wait, until whenever, to find out when he has passes, leaving me with an overwhelming sense of anxiety I cannot shake.. I have not seen this dude for 15 years, yet he is still like a brother to me and although nobody around me ever knew this guy and I have no one to share my pain with, I feel the need to reach out into the ether to anyone who might know my pain and express how sad I am. I have not been this lost since my son died. Peace everyone and take care of yourselves. Don't go slippin' where you shoudna' be slippin'.

That poopie has no rhyme or reason. On my end, the most impressive and important thing is how you feel about them. Can't bring them back but can impact the ways those who, like yourself, also loved him. All the best.

 

[Polfuste]

Deep thoughts for Jim; his familly and you. Take care of you and cherish his memory.

 

[Mikich]

I've been grieving recently myself and find this song to be fairly comforting

 

[Ken Morgan]

Never any need to apologize for missing old friends

 

[Major Seven]

I also have friends that I have known since the mid to late 60s. They are more than just friends they are like brothers to me having known them for so long. Two have since passed away within the last couple of years and since I now live on the other side of the country from them I was not able to get back to see them before they passed away. even though I knew they were sick there was just no way that I could get back there. I felt and still do feel horrible about that. I did talk to them and they said they understood the reasons why I couldn't get back there. Because sometimes life gets in the way. I was undergoing major medical procedures and was unable to travel myself. Sometimes that's what happens. What helped me was some things they said when I talked to them towards the end. One of them said hey friend, I have lived my life and I am not afraid to go. if it is my time then it is my time. And I don't want you to suffer and feel bad about it because it's not your fault. My other friend said something very similar. He said hey I've had a long life I've made mistakes but overall I've been happy we played music together and had fun But all good things eventually come to an end. Of the three of us he was the most religious A true Christian. He said look we don't know when we're going to go And we're not supposed to know. Only God knows and God's not telling us. He said do not feel sorry for me I am on my way to a better place I will miss you because we have known each other almost all of our adult lives but we will see each other again.

I remembered my father saying something similar when he passed away. so now I have a very different attitude about it. I am looking at it as being one door closes but another one opens and then you step through it. What awaits us when we step through that other door we don't know And we won't be able to come back and tell anybody after we step through it. Just know that your friend is going to a better place where your friend will be made whole again and will no longer be suffering. Be happy for him And know that you will see him again someday. I will also pray for you. Also know that I'm the lone survivor of my Immediate family. Not a day goes by 'cause I do not think of them and also my friends and other relatives who have passed on. That is part of life. But I do know that neither our family nor our friends would want us to sit around feeling sorry and grieving about their loss. They would want us to continue on with our lives and be happy and remember them fondly. That is exactly what I am doing and I'm going to keep on doing it till my time comes which I hope is not too soon.

My guitarist friend's last words were, "OH, Now I get it".

I look forward to "getting it".

 

[Hot Rats]

I've been grieving recently myself and find this song to be fairly comforting

I just had a chance to listen to this in a peaceful setting and want to thank you for sending that along.