I just quit the band I helped co-found. We were only together about 6 or 7 months but played over 16 paying gigs locally and have had great responses.
I would really like some opinions on if you think I over-reacted or if I made the right choice;
I play bass and my good friend from another band plays lead guitar. We formed this new band. After playing rotating drummers we finally seem to have found our guy. Our lead singer is a good singer but a bad frontman. He brings zero people, has almost no stage presence, and helps ZERO when it comes to loading in and packing up gear. He also is very cheap and doesn't want to even pay for his own gear until he knows he's going to be reimbursed from paying gigs. My lead singer went off on him multiple times for not contributing as much as the rest of us and eventually he got tired of the harassment and quit. Two days later, my guitarist begs him to come back, which ticked me off. Now, the singer has his giant ego fully inflated and thinks he is untouchable. We have about 50 songs, only 1 of which I contributed. My other suggestions have been deemed "gay" (their word, not mine) or not right for the band, whereas the singer has contributed Blackstreet, John Mayer, and Usher songs which were fasttracked into the set list. We are a 90s/classic rock cover band. How did these songs get into our set list??!
But I dealt with it, variety is good and as a bassist having some R&B songs around is a nice exercise at times. But Saturday, I couldn't take it anymore. The venue was nearly empty and our singer kept making comments about how there was nobody there and was essentially telling the bartenders how to promote their venue better; then he constantly steps on my guitar cables and despite being asked nicely multiple times, he continues to have no respect for my gear. He was very unprofessional, then suddenly the place fills up with people and suddenly he wants to become a rock star and starts taking it seriously. I understand the important of fan interaction, but we are paid professional gigging "musicians" and he should have had his gameface on the entire night, not just the last 1.5 hours.
The real blow came after the gig when packing up. He sits down at a table with all the girls and chats them up while I pack up 3/4 of the band gear. I complain multiple times to the guitarist (and friend and co-founder of the band) and he basically makes me feel like a jerk and says for me to 'let it go.' So I talk to my girlfriend about him, and she defends him too saying 'he's a nice guy'.
I feel really bad, like my heart was just ripped out of my chest, but I have put in a lot of work co-founding the band and promoting and gigging and everything that comes with a band whereas this amateur does nothing. I feel like the band has consistently chose his (and their own) opinions and concerns over mine. I don't know if I made the right decision as I have poured my soul into this band and others for the last 6 or more years. Now I feel like I have nothing to show for it but gear that isn't going to be getting used anymore.
So giving the information I've stated (which is a very abridged version), what do you think? Am I over-reacting to an egotistical singer and hurting everyone in the process, or do you think I'll be happier elsewhere? At this point the gigs haven't been fun and I really don't even want to play anymore. Which is a shame because a month ago, I was ready to take on the world. I just don't know...
I would really like some opinions on if you think I over-reacted or if I made the right choice;
I play bass and my good friend from another band plays lead guitar. We formed this new band. After playing rotating drummers we finally seem to have found our guy. Our lead singer is a good singer but a bad frontman. He brings zero people, has almost no stage presence, and helps ZERO when it comes to loading in and packing up gear. He also is very cheap and doesn't want to even pay for his own gear until he knows he's going to be reimbursed from paying gigs. My lead singer went off on him multiple times for not contributing as much as the rest of us and eventually he got tired of the harassment and quit. Two days later, my guitarist begs him to come back, which ticked me off. Now, the singer has his giant ego fully inflated and thinks he is untouchable. We have about 50 songs, only 1 of which I contributed. My other suggestions have been deemed "gay" (their word, not mine) or not right for the band, whereas the singer has contributed Blackstreet, John Mayer, and Usher songs which were fasttracked into the set list. We are a 90s/classic rock cover band. How did these songs get into our set list??!
But I dealt with it, variety is good and as a bassist having some R&B songs around is a nice exercise at times. But Saturday, I couldn't take it anymore. The venue was nearly empty and our singer kept making comments about how there was nobody there and was essentially telling the bartenders how to promote their venue better; then he constantly steps on my guitar cables and despite being asked nicely multiple times, he continues to have no respect for my gear. He was very unprofessional, then suddenly the place fills up with people and suddenly he wants to become a rock star and starts taking it seriously. I understand the important of fan interaction, but we are paid professional gigging "musicians" and he should have had his gameface on the entire night, not just the last 1.5 hours.
The real blow came after the gig when packing up. He sits down at a table with all the girls and chats them up while I pack up 3/4 of the band gear. I complain multiple times to the guitarist (and friend and co-founder of the band) and he basically makes me feel like a jerk and says for me to 'let it go.' So I talk to my girlfriend about him, and she defends him too saying 'he's a nice guy'.
I feel really bad, like my heart was just ripped out of my chest, but I have put in a lot of work co-founding the band and promoting and gigging and everything that comes with a band whereas this amateur does nothing. I feel like the band has consistently chose his (and their own) opinions and concerns over mine. I don't know if I made the right decision as I have poured my soul into this band and others for the last 6 or more years. Now I feel like I have nothing to show for it but gear that isn't going to be getting used anymore.
So giving the information I've stated (which is a very abridged version), what do you think? Am I over-reacting to an egotistical singer and hurting everyone in the process, or do you think I'll be happier elsewhere? At this point the gigs haven't been fun and I really don't even want to play anymore. Which is a shame because a month ago, I was ready to take on the world. I just don't know...
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