Pretty good discussion. The first gig my country band played, a pedal steel player sat in. It was an early one, so we told him to be there around 4:30 and we'd start at 6:30. He showed up at 6:20, asked for help getting his steel and amp inside, and split as soon as we played the last song. Gee, turns out we didn't REALLY need a steel player.
Everybody has his or her tolerances. With me, it's helping with the load in/out, and competence, and not being abrasive (don't have to be friendly, just not abrasive). That allows a pretty wide net to be cast, and you soon find out if any individual is musically compatible, as well (you should know this before investing in a band).
Those items I can't tolerate are not negotiable, and I don't feel any qualms about explaining to potential band mates what they are. Communication prevents a lot of problems.
In the OP's case, I think you're better off without them. If it were me (and, it HAS been me, in past situations) I wouldn't take time off, I'd immediately explore other venues for performing. That distracts you from the 'coulda-shoulda-wouldas' and keeps you on an even keel. I just left a group due to the continued tolerance by other members of an incompetent singer, and I am losing no sleep over it, but looking into auditioning for a praise band that I was contacted about.
Look ahead, not back.
Everybody has his or her tolerances. With me, it's helping with the load in/out, and competence, and not being abrasive (don't have to be friendly, just not abrasive). That allows a pretty wide net to be cast, and you soon find out if any individual is musically compatible, as well (you should know this before investing in a band).
Those items I can't tolerate are not negotiable, and I don't feel any qualms about explaining to potential band mates what they are. Communication prevents a lot of problems.
In the OP's case, I think you're better off without them. If it were me (and, it HAS been me, in past situations) I wouldn't take time off, I'd immediately explore other venues for performing. That distracts you from the 'coulda-shoulda-wouldas' and keeps you on an even keel. I just left a group due to the continued tolerance by other members of an incompetent singer, and I am losing no sleep over it, but looking into auditioning for a praise band that I was contacted about.
Look ahead, not back.
